Chapter Two Karmen
I should have known better. I should have known that being this close to him again wouldn’t be easy.
I thought I was over him, that my feelings for him were buried deep enough I could ignore them, but boy, I was terribly wrong.
I was foolish to think that I could be in the same room with this man and feel nothing.
Every memory and emotion slam into me one by one. Memories I’ve long since forgotten or tried to, and after looking into those deep blue eyes, they rise like the waves of the ocean, crashing into me one by one.
Stolen kisses.
Sweaty nights.
Forbidden touches.
Whispered promises.
He’s all I’ve ever wanted, and everything I never allowed myself to have.
Ramirez doesn’t seem to feel the shift in the room.
He doesn’t notice the palpable energy radiating off Benson, but I do—I can feel it in the way his searing gaze holds mine, resentment and hurt swirling in the depths of those conflicted eyes.
I feel it in the way he clenches and unclenches his fists, as if he’s holding himself back from wanting to touch me.
Or punish me.
Heat floods my chest, settling between my clenched thighs.
God, I’ve missed his touch.
A single fingertip would set my entire body on fire.
He could make me come from his kiss alone.
There was a time when kneeling at his feet was the only place I wanted to be.
He’s the only man who has ever had that kind of power over me.
The only man I’ve ever given that power to. But that was a long time ago.
Judging by the way he’s looking at me…
He doesn’t want to touch me for pleasure. He wants to rip my heart out and shred it into pieces with his bare hands. And after what I did to him, I don’t blame him.
“Tell me, Agent Ashford, what else does that little file on me tell you?”
I keep my eyes trained on the file in front of me, looking anywhere but at his penetrating stare. When I finally drag my gaze up to his, heat blooms under my skin.
His brown hair is longer than I’ve ever seen, short on the sides but long and messy on top, tousled in a way that has my fingers tingling to reach out and touch it.
His blue uniform is immaculate and fits him perfectly, stretching across his broad chest as if highlighting every muscle he has.
I wonder whether he still works out twice a day.
It’s clear the commander still takes rigorous care of his body.
A body that I’ve spent countless hours beneath.
“It says you’re suspended with pay pending the investigation,” I say, slapping the folder closed.
His eyes turn cold.
Deadly.
Flickering with unhinged emotion.
“Do you think this is a joke?” he seethes, nostrils flaring.
“Not in the least, Commander. I’m just doing my job.”
“This is my fucking badge on the line, Karmen. I didn’t do this, and you damn well know it. You know me.”
I do know him. I know he’s not capable of this. He would never allow his deep-set morals and integrity to be compromised. Not for anyone. It’s one of the reasons I’m here. To prove he’s innocent. Even at the risk of costing me everything I’ve worked for my entire life.
I owe him that much.
Ramirez leans forward in his seat, shifting his gaze between us. If he hadn’t suspected before, he knows something is up now. I stand, clutching the folder in my trembling hand.
Spinning on my heels, I reach for the door, pausing when his stern voice says, “Every secret has a price, Karmen. Remember that.”
It takes everything I have not to look back at him before I hightail it out of there.
Once we’re in the hallway, Ramirez says, “You know him.”
A statement, not a question. I guess he could feel the tension in the room after all.
“Yes,” I reply simply.
No use in lying about it now.
“How? Were you two in a relationship?”
My silence is my only answer.
“Shit, that’s a conflict of interest, Ashford.”
“I know.”
“Then why did you take the case?”
I let out a heavy sigh. “Because I know he didn’t do it. Someone is setting him up, and I have to find out who.”
He runs a hand through his dark hair as we round the corner of the hallway, heading toward the exit. Once we’re outside, he stops me with a hand on my elbow. “I have to report this. I can’t—I won’t compromise the investigation.”
The tightness in my chest worsens. “Can you please just give me a little time before you do?”
He gives me a sympathetic look. “You know I can’t do that.”
My legs feel numb, but I’m not surprised.
Ramirez is by the book, and deep down, I knew if he found out, he’d report it, but I also had a small sliver of hope that he wouldn’t find out.
Or at the very least, we could find out who was behind this before he did, and then it wouldn’t matter.
Either way, I know that after he reports back to my superiors, I’ll be suspended or fired.
“Don’t worry about it,” I say, handing him the file and shouldering my bag. “I’ll tell them myself.”
As I walk toward the parking garage, my legs feel numb and my panic rises, but I stomp it down. I can do this. I have to do this.
For him.