Chapter 5 #3
To my utter horror, Patron Lenon stands before me. How in the world did he get in here…? My entire body is quivering, quaking. The hairs on my skin are shuddering. Even my legs are clattering in fear. I slide my legs together to steady myself, staring at him, stunned, frozen in time.
He speaks so smoothly, playing with a yellow flower in his hands.
Then, he eats it. And it turns into silver gum in his mouth.
There is a smile and delight in his eyes.
“You know that Patrons can’t just do anything to a student.
But we let you guys believe everything. Because why not?
Technically if we wanted to, we could do anything.
Considering we already do everything. Go figure.
” He completes with a devil-may-care demeanor. What is he on about?
I am utterly and undoubtedly done for.
I draw back to push through the door when suddenly, my legs slip and a buzz of electricity surges through my hands and shocks me.
“Argh!” I gasp, pulling my hands away, but I struggle to stand firm on the ground.
Looking at the floor, I realize it might be slippery, but he seems perfectly still.
He probably has the appropriate shoes. To make matters worse, I realize there is no space for me to fall back without touching the electric door. There is no room between him and me.
I look down, to avoid eye contact as I try to draw away from the door, even closer to him, but my feet keep sliding. Urgh.
I’m not sure if I’m more afraid of the door or him. I can feel the vigor in his breath. I can almost taste it this close to him. He simply watches me.
How do I ask him to help me without asking him to help me? How do I ask him to help steady me without asking him? Desperate, my words spit it out. “Would you mind—”
“Argh!” Just as I feel another shock through my hands, he pulls my waist away from the door with a strong force, pushing me tightly to himself.
“I don’t help outlaws,” he whispers into my ear.
Our eyes collide. I catch a glimpse of the doorknob turning, and I realize that the door once shut only opens after a certain time. And it’s ten minutes before that door opens.
He turns to me. “It’s meant to catch criminals.”
My voice is shaking. “I wasn’t doing anything, I promise.”
“Uh-huh,” he says, nonchalant, turning away from me.
This room is warmer than ever, so much my mind doesn’t realize when it confesses out loud. “It’s so hot.”
“Is it?” he says, clearly not giving a crap what I think.
“You don’t have to hold me if you don’t want to?” I say, almost annoyed.
“I don’t do things I don’t want to do. So just try to stop talking. I wasn’t expecting company when I came in here.”
“Sorry.”
His eyes trace my face with a subtle smile. “Sorry is not going to suffice.”
My heart drops. My eyes look into his. “I really didn’t mean to come in here.”
“So you wanna leave?” he asks, eying me. Is this sarcasm or what?
This must be a trick question. He can’t possibly let me off so easily. Nevertheless, I respond. “Yes,” I say softly in the same tone as him, hoping, that for a moment, he’ll make my wishful thinking come true.
He doesn’t. “It’s gonna cost you.” He sticks his tongue under his teeth, eyeing my lips. “A kiss,” he says so sensually, it’s almost alluring. But how can I be allured by the devil?
Is he being serious? I exhale. I’ve never kissed a guy before. I certainly can’t tell him that. Not him. Anyone, but him. He’ll assign it a fault or something and snap my neck for being different from him… I humor him, trying to read him. “I don’t think you’re gonna like that,” I say.
“Why not?” His jaw adjusts, tracing me with his lightning blue eyes that are too comfortable staring at me like I’m a work of art at his disposal.
“Because…”
His finger flicks my bottom lip. Oh my gosh. He is serious.
“Because you’re not gonna be very satisfied with it as payment. It won’t be very good,” I barely manage to say.
“Mmm, bargaining.” His eyes gleam. “I’ll be the judge of that.”
I stay still as he draws near. I’m terrified his teeth has claws or his hands will pull out an arrow from his fingers and stab me should I blink wrong.
I’m petrified he’s gonna kill me for lack of satisfaction, knowing how cold he can be.
I’m as still as I can be, urging every bit of me not to move, but my body is being shocked by his presence.
Something about his body emits electricity.
And I am sure it’s not all in my head. Like a charm or a spell, I can almost taste the sensual scent of his breath on my lips, wondering when the venom will kick in and send me to sleep.
His breath lingers, drawing close. Suddenly, he stops, his voice echoing. “But not today.”
I blink and look down. “Please don’t kill me.”
“Why?” he says, almost in gentle pleasure.
“Because… um… I…” I stutter, breathing heavy, not knowing what to say as he stares, looking at me so calmly, waiting patiently, so very patient, it is frightening. “I… I’m not a problem,” I spit out.
He smiles, then he smiles again, fully enjoying a thought it seems. “I think you are.”
My heart forgets to drop because of how calmly he utters it. I blink, not knowing what to say because I know he’s right; I am a problem because I am clearly trying to find my sister against this institution’s plans, but… he certainly cannot know that… can he?
His face is so chill, gazing on me, and now he draws close to my ears. I close my eyes, opening my lips to let some heat escape from within me and to breathe now that he cannot see me.
Then his voice, rougher than it’s sounded this entire conversation, says to me, “If I catch you breaking the rules again, death will be the last thing you have to worry about from me. Understand?”
My throat gulps. “I understand.”
His hands go to the door behind me, and it strikes it like a password of some sort, a surge of power shining.
He pushes me against the door in a bang.
I gasp, but I soon realize he just turned the electricity off somehow with his bare hands.
He could have done that all this time, but simply chose not to.
I want to be angry at him, but I immediately remember he might kill me.
So, I keep my head down. Hoping he will let me leave now.
But he doesn’t. “Don’t move,” he utters with a frown.
Then… His hands like daggers claw their way up my neck, tightly gripping my throat.
Then he begins pressing on the place where that Evaper was placed on me during The Selection.
My neck lights up with a small white circle.
I notice from the transparent mirror in front of me.
But I can hardly see as my eyes are shutting down, along with my throat.
Air flow is suppressed as he is gripping my neck so tightly.
His eyes glint, seemingly enjoying me beg.
“Please, please.” I squirm. “Please—” My mouth opens, holding onto the last air I have left. “Please, please, don’t kill me…”
His blue eyes stare at me with an indulgent gaze, eyeing me like this is simply another day in the park. Then snap. My neck.
Suddenly, I gasp, rising up and looking around to see I am still in the library. Oh my God, that was a dream! I’m panting, my body drenched in sweat, my eyes shooting around in horror. Was that a dream? It felt so real. What happened to me? Oh my world. I rush back to my dorm.
Looking at tosh, I realize it’s almost time for my Cognitive Test. As I am sneaking into the dorm, I find Zia sitting on her bed, crying.
“Hey, Zia, what’s wrong?” I sit on her bed and hold onto her hands. I’m still recovering, panting profusely from what just happened to me. I’m trying not to think about it. I’m too horrified.
“My Cognitive Test is tomorrow at 3 a.m. I feel so horrible. I feel sick. After class, Madam Dey asked to have a word with me. She told me that she knew about my history of anxiety and panic attacks. She told me I need to learn to control my feelings before tomorrow’s test.”
“Oh, Zia, I’m so sorry. She implied that your feelings will affect the test? Maybe she just wanted to warn you, or to make you feel stronger?”
But this only confirms my suspicions. I’m glad I read the books on meditation and emotions.
“She said too many things. I have to pass. This is my dream! I have to make it! My parents will never forgive me if I fail!” She sobs.
“Don’t worry, you won’t fail. The Cognitive Test has a low pass rate anyway. Most people will do poorly, so you will be okay.”
“You’re right, that is true. But can people die during it, do you think?”
“Oh no, I’m sure not. Don’t worry.” I encourage Zia to go to sleep because I need to get some sleep, and my body feels so weak and tired. “Come on, let’s get some rest, we have to wake up in a few hours.”
I comfort her and hold her close. At least Pesh did not move me to the point of tears.
Though someone else almost did… in my dreams. I wonder if this has to do with the memory foam I sat on for two seconds in the O Library?
I don’t know what just happened to me. But what I do know is this: In a few hours, I will face one of the most dangerous things I have ever experienced—The Cognitive Test.