Chapter 28
Natalie: I can’t keep risking my job like that. My other job. The karate classes.
Wyatt: I’m sorry, Nat. I feel terrible.
Natalie: Not your fault.
Wyatt: All mine. I should have been smarter. Taken you to my home or something.
Natalie: It’s my fault, too. This may surprise you (not!) but I kinda love the risky sex.
Wyatt: Shocked. Shocked, I tell you.
Natalie: With you, I should add. I like it with you. It just does something to me. The danger. The chance of getting caught.
Wyatt: Um. Yeah! It’s fucking hot.
Natalie: But it’s so risky.
Wyatt: Definitely too dangerous . . .
Natalie: It really is. I know you tried, but when Mrs. McKeon asked me to stay after you left . . . well, let’s just say, I get the impression she’s not too happy with me.
Wyatt: Ah, shit. Nat. I feel terrible. What can I do to help?
Natalie: Become ugly. Act like an asshole. Stop being so damn caring.
Wyatt: Likewise, could you start acting like a cold-hearted bitch who’ll stab me in the back? It’d make it so much easier to keep my hands off you.
Natalie: If you could get a reversal on your sense of humor so I wouldn’t laugh so much around you, that’d also help.
Wyatt: While we’re at it, please stop having so damn much in common with me.
Natalie: And another thing. Maybe you can quit trying to help me succeed at my passion.
Wyatt: And how about you cut out the crap with making me sandwiches? That was crossing a line.
Natalie: I’m glad you liked the sandwich :)
Wyatt: Um, I should confess I gave it to an unhoused guy.
Natalie: That’s so sweet. See? That’s what I mean. You just do these things . . .
Wyatt: Wait. Before you think I’m sweet, let me be honest. I was afraid you were poisoning me.
Natalie: SO YOU TRIED TO POISON SOMEONE ELSE INSTEAD??
Wyatt: No! I freaked out. My mind went haywire.
I told you about my ex, and what she tried to do to my business.
Sometimes thinking a woman is out to get me is my default setting.
It was stupid and wrong to think that about you, but I did it anyway, imagining you were up to something.
I tossed the sandwich, and later I found out an unhoused guy had it, and well, I felt like a schmuck.
Natalie: That is a little schmucky.
Wyatt: A world-class schmuck, I should add. Will you forgive me?
Natalie: Yes, because you’ve already been punished enough by missing out on my spectacular lunch. I rock in the sandwich department.
Wyatt: Maybe I can make it up to you with a stir-fry. Or a southwestern shrimp soup. Or this new blackened catfish fajita recipe that’s awesome.
Natalie: My RSVP to all three is yes. And also, I want you to know . . . I get it. I truly do. We all have fears. You have a fear of being taken. And hey, my last boyfriend was boring, so I have a fear of being bored.
Wyatt: How’d a woman like you ever wind up with a dull dude? You’re the opposite. You’re the most exciting, interesting, fascinating woman I’ve ever known.
Natalie: At the time, I thought I needed to be more serious. Less adventuresome.
Wyatt: Your sense of adventure is one of my favorite things about you, Nat.
Natalie: Ditto.
Natalie: Also, I was wrong.
Wyatt: Wrong? About what? Your sense of adventure?
Natalie: No. Remember in Vegas when I said there was no such thing as a calorie-free chocolate . . . or a guy who’s funny, well hung, and sweet?
Wyatt: YOU FOUND CALORIE-FREE CHOCOLATE?? I’m coming over.
Natalie: I wish!!! But I did come across this guy who’s funny, well hung, and sweet.
Wyatt: No way. He sounds like a unicorn.
Natalie: I like unicorns.
Wyatt: I bet unicorns like you, too. I hear they like adventuresome, sexy, hot, kind, caring, organized, and totally fucking awesome babes.
Natalie: There’s only one problem with this unicorn.
Wyatt: What’s that?
Natalie: He’s my boss.
Wyatt: Yeah, I find myself in a very similar situation with an employee.
Natalie: What are we doing, Wyatt?
Wyatt: I wish I knew, Nat. I wish I knew. All I know is I can’t stop thinking about you, but I don’t want to mess things up for you. At any of your jobs.
Natalie: That’s the real unicorn. Having it all.