Chapter 55
PARTY OF FOUR
Briar
Good thing I brought one cute outfit that does double duty as date attire. The next day, late in the afternoon, I strike a pose in the bedroom for Donut. “What do you think, girl?”
She whimpers a happy approval. I bend to give her a kiss. “Glad you like it,” I say.
I’m wearing a pink skirt, a white top, and my favorite pair of boots. I picked them up one afternoon when Ivy dragged me out thrifting and I’m obsessed with them, but I haven’t had a chance to wear them.
They’re white, with chunky heels and pink hearts on the sides. She said they were perfect for me and even though I’m not a pink hearts gal I’m going to trust her.
I fluff out my hair, tell my girl I’ll be back later, then leave the bedroom, trying not to stare wistfully at the bed. We dragged the mattresses out to the living room again last night, sleeping together, Gavin spooning me and, perhaps, snoring.
But like I tell him each morning, I sleep so deeply I don’t notice. Besides, Donut snores too.
I’ll miss seeing the makeshift Alaskan king-size bed—or close to it—on the living room floor.
I’ll miss this cottage.
I’ll miss our mornings and our nights.
When I reach the living room, I stop in my tracks. My heart sputters at the sight. Three suitcases. Neatly packed. Their flight is first thing in the morning. I glance at the clock, wishing the hands would unwind. But tonight is our last date.
All good things must come to an end.
* * *
Following the GPS directions the guys gave me, I drive down a long, winding road, past lush rolling hills, to a B they adored me; they romanced me.”
“Good,” Rhys says, while clearing his throat, like he needs to clear away emotions too. Gavin looks toward the never-ending stretch of vines. Hollis swallows roughly.
And I will miss all of you.
But I try to focus on the friendship, just the friendship. As we eat, we talk about the coming weeks. “You’ll talk to Amira soon about her meeting, right?”
Rhys’s eyes flicker with nerves but also some acceptance. He knows his fate is out of his hands. “I will.”
“You better let me know,” I say.
“Bossy,” Hollis teases.
“And you know Rhys will when he shows up at your class again,” Gavin adds. “He can’t break that streak.”
Hollis shoots a pointed look at Gavin. “I’ve no doubt you’ll be making sure we wear face masks if we win this coming weekend.”
“One hundred percent,” Gavin says, but his tone says that’s not the streak he wants.
Hollis sets a hand on my thigh. “You better send us cat pics and dog pics when you settle into your new place.”
“Count on it,” I say.
“And a copy of your column,” he adds.
I’d nearly forgotten. Or maybe that’s not quite right. I hadn’t forgotten. The column just became the way of my life for the last several days. “I will,” I say, and it’s a promise—one that means we’ll stay friends. We’ll nurture this friendship.
Even though we’re so much more. “Guys,” I say, feeling all emotional and wistful at once.
“Yes?” Rhys asks.
“This was so much more than the missing O. You have to know that.” Their passionate gazes tell me they do.
The way they look at me with fondness and genuine affection gives me the courage to say the next thing.
“You made me feel…connected to my body in a way I never had—a way I wanted desperately to feel. You helped me relax. You helped me let go of…my anxiety. That means so much to me.” But there’s one thing we didn’t do in bed.
One thing I think about. A lot. “And I wanted to feel all of you at once. But I don’t think I can, knowing it’s ending.
It’s so intimate I’m afraid I won’t be able to go back to friends. ”
No one says anything probably because no one disagrees. It is intimate, for all of us, and it would make the next part even harder.
When we clean up.
When we leave.
When we return to the cottage for our last night together.
When they say goodbye early in the morning before the sun rises, and they leave to catch their flight. When I do what I’ve been practicing all week—letting go.
I let them go.