Chapter 5
THE SCARF DID IT
Fisher
As I turn the corner on Octavia Street, heading to Katie’s building the next night, the sparkling lights of the neighborhood holiday decorations twinkle in the trees and along the awnings.
They’re festive and fun.
And they are not, not, not romantic.
I hammer that reminder into my brain as I near her building. So what if we’ll be surrounded by thousands of little glowing lights tonight. After dark. In a garden.
No big deal.
Just because we’re going to a Christmas lighting festival doesn’t mean I’m stepping into one of those holiday flicks I always scroll past on my Webflix queue.
Fine, fine. I watch them sometimes.
But holiday flicks are like a bowl of popcorn. You can’t stop once you start. Even though most could use a little more sex.
I bound up the steps to Katie’s building, ring the buzzer, and wait for my friend.
“Coming!” Katie calls through the speaker.
I don’t even think about alternative meanings for that word.
All right. I do.
Just like I thought about it when I was in the shower thirty minutes ago, getting ready for tonight.
I had to get my horniness out of my system, since the Webflix queue in my head definitely does not run family fare.
The theater upstairs shows only filthy holiday flicks—fucking in front of fireplaces, and screwing under the stockings.
Someone should acquire my brand of holiday films that give new meaning to rocking around the Christmas tree.
A few seconds later, Katie’s shoes click down the hall of her building, heading toward the door. She opens it, and she’s looking…impossibly better than she did last night.
A pink scarf with snowflake illustrations on it is wrapped around her neck. Those soft brown strands of hair curl around her shoulders. Lip gloss shines on her lips. I want to kiss it off. Then, I want to learn exactly what she likes in bed and give it to her all night long.
But I don’t want to ruin our friendship. It means too much to me.
“Hey, you,” she says, and her pretty voice grabs at my heart, squeezes it.
The full weight of my feelings hits me all at once. I like Katie and I want her.
Great, just great.
“Nice scarf,” I say, a little strangled. But I needed to say something. Can’t just stare.
She lifts a hand to touch it, almost as if to remind herself that it’s there. “Thanks. My sister gave it to me,” she says as we head down the steps.
Family. Sisters. Small talk. I’ll do that tonight to slow down the naughty holiday reel playing before my eyes. “You enjoying being back in town and seeing Ivy?”
“Yup. And mom and grandma and Ryker,” she rattles off.
It’s like a snowball’s hit me in the groin.
Last night’s kiss was simply a one-time-only mistletoe incident and we’re back in the friend zone.
But that’s fine. It’s totally fine. I’ve spent years being friends with this woman, and I’m not going to ruin it because the troublemaker in me is suddenly thinking about her in new ways.
You’ve always been thinking of her that way. You just fucking realized it last night, you dumbass.
We head to Yerba Buena Gardens for the festival.
“Now, tell me the deal for tonight,” she says. She’ll say yes, she’ll help out, but she always loves a little debrief. She likes to do her best. I admire that about her. I’m the same damn way. “Are we supposed to be pretending to be on a date? Are we on a date, or are we friend dating?”
Don’t tempt me, universe.
Already my mind is filled with new thoughts like…
Let’s have dinner tomorrow.
Can you come to the game in two more nights?
How about I skate over to you after we win? I could give you another kiss or ten.
Would it truly ruin the friendship if I said those things? I don’t know, so I focus on the practical answers to her questions about this evening. “Tonight we’ll just shoot a couple of fun videos in front of the Christmas tree lights, and we’ll be good to go.”
She lifts a finger, an intensely serious look in her eyes. “But you won’t deprive me of the sledding hill?”
I pull a face. “Do I look that cruel?”
She gives me a long once-over. “You don’t look that cruel.”
“Then you can sled your cute little ass off,” I say and oops.
That slipped out.
She shoots me a playful smile. “I will.”
As we near the gardens, something gnaws at me though. She’s back in town. She’s been single for a bit. “Are you dating again?” I ask in a tight voice.
If she’s dating again, I’m totally pucked.
She shakes her head. “I’m not opposed to it. I just have been kind of focused on establishing my career here and getting over what Henry said.”
That pisses me off, what he said to her, but it makes me want to hug her at the same time since that guy did a number on her. “I really wish you wouldn’t let him get to you. I guarantee he’s wrong,” I say, confidently, hoping to reassure her.
“Honestly, what you said last night really helped. I think I’ve finally let go of it.” She stops at the light, then sets a hand on my arm and squeezes. “So thank you. It just kind of freed me. And I really appreciate that.”
“Anytime,” I say, glad that she’s not letting his cutting remark weigh on her. Glad, too, I could be the one to reassure her.
I’d do well to remember my role in her life. It’s not to ask her out to dinner tomorrow. It’s not to take her home tonight. It’s to be her friend.
We arrive at the gardens, with its ice-skating rink, its bowling alley, and its restaurants all lit up with twinkling, sparkling lights. Bright golds, shiny silvers, and inviting reds are strung all over the playground, along the trees, and over the fountains.
She gasps. “Oh, this is gorgeous. I love it. Thank you for bringing me,” she says, then throws her arms around me in a warm embrace that knocks me right out of the friend zone.
And back into the I’m falling for my friend one.
With her like this, in my arms, everything just feels right. Inevitable. Like we were always headed here.
Maybe I don’t need to stuff my feelings back into a box. Maybe I don’t need to worry about ruining the friendship.
Even if she doesn’t feel the same way I do, we’ll still be friends. Somehow.
I know that in a soul-deep way.
That means I need to find just the right way to tell the woman in the snowflake scarf exactly how I feel about her.
And that my offer last night was no joke.