Chapter 3
three
HARPER
P almer called me so many times last night that I ended up turning my ringer off, so I shouldn’t be surprised when there’s an incessant knock at the front door the next morning.
I’m still in bed, huddled under the covers and trying to avoid the world because nothing has felt real since I saw those two pink lines on the test. It’s all way too surreal.
When the knocking doesn’t stop, I crawl out of bed with a groan. It’s mid-morning, so Maven will already have left for work.
I peek around the curtain, and yep, it’s Palmer. After a deep sigh, I swing open the door. Tears immediately spring to my eyes seeing her expression—a mix of concern and pity. She steps forward and draws me into a tight, secure hug that breaks my last piece of restraint.
For the first time since finding out, I cry. The reality of the situation. The weight of the decision that must be made. I’ve always been careful, practiced safe sex, so I wouldn’t be in this predicament.
Palmer squeezes me so tightly I might break, but after a couple minutes, she pulls away, shutting the door behind her. “How are you?” she whispers, as if Maven could overhear.
“She’s at work.” My shoulders slump, and I walk into the living room and collapse onto the couch, pulling a blanket over me. “It’s starting to set in.”
Palmer sits in the chair beside the couch. “The father is Finn? You haven’t mentioned anyone else lately.”
Her comment stings, although she didn’t mean it to.
She’s curious if I could be pregnant and not know who the father is.
Yes, if I’m into a guy, I’ll definitely go to bed with him, even though I’m not interested in anything long term.
But I don’t sleep with every single male with two feet, a heartbeat, and a dick either.
Regardless, I know people will wonder. Will judge me anyway.
“Yes, it’s Finn’s.” I groan and squeeze my eyes shut. “I don’t even know how this happened. I’m on birth control, and we used a condom. All three times.”
Palmer’s eyes bug out. “You did it three times in one night?”
I shrug, pushing the blanket off my shoulders. “The sex was really good. Amazing actually.” Probably the best I’ve ever had, but I’m not going to give her a play-by-play of Finn’s bedroom skills when he’s her husband’s best friend. “What did Hudson say after I left?”
She tilts her head. “He was shocked, but don’t worry, he won’t say anything. It’s not like he and Finn talk every day anyway. Probably once a month unless something’s going on.”
I nod. I wasn’t worried about either of them saying anything when I left last night. I know they would never. Adley, on the other hand…
“What about Adley?”
A mischievous smile creases her lips, and she looks just like Adley when she’s done something she’s not supposed to.
“We told her it was a test you take when your tummy is bothering you to check if you’re sick.
She bought it. I swear, a huge part of parenting is just lying to them about stuff or figuring out how to tell them a half-truth. ”
I muster up a small smile, thankful I won’t have to worry about that.
“Do you know what you’re going to do?”
I wince at her sympathetic tone and shake my head. The idea of having a baby, fathered by someone I had a one-night stand with, is mind-blowing. But the thought of terminating the pregnancy makes me sick. I can’t even imagine the idea of adoption.
“I figured. All right, go get dressed.” She stands from the chair, hands on her hips as if I’m Adley.
I burrow down further under the blanket, and Palmer whips the blanket off of me.
I curl into the fetal position. “I don’t want to go anywhere,” I whine. “I’m just going to stay in my little bubble where I don’t have to face the world and my new reality.”
I’m taking you somewhere. It’s a surprise , she signs.
I blow out a breath on a groan. “What kind of surprise? The sugar kind? Because that’s about all my vices can be now, but watch, I’ll probably have gestational diabetes.”
It’s not food related.
I groan and kick my feet like the kid she probably just dropped off at school. “I don’t wanna.”
“Should we set up a playdate?” she asks, glaring at me.
“Playdate? That’s how I got in this position.”
She bites her lip to not laugh at my joke. “I meant with Adley. You’re acting like I just said you couldn’t have a popsicle before dinner.” She grabs my wrist. “Come on.”
I fight her, but she’s right, time to act like an adult, and adults face their problems head on. Right?
“Fine.”
Twenty minutes later, I’ve gotten dressed in a pair of leggings and a T-shirt, and I’m in the passenger seat of Palmer’s car with a package of saltines on my lap. I guess it was Palmer’s congratulations gift. The pregnancy nausea sucks.
“So when are we going to get there?” I ask for the tenth time, but Palmer doesn’t bother answering.
Man, she’s really mastered the mom thing. Thank God I have her to help me through this. She just keeps driving out of town until we’re on a small road surrounded by trees. I look at everything we pass, unsure where we could be. I thought I knew every nook and cranny of Lake Starlight.
Eventually, she turns onto a short gravel driveway lined with trees in front of a rustic cabin. It too is surrounded by thick woods, and though the cabin looks as if it’s seen better days, it has a charming Hansel and Gretel fairy tale feeling to it with the arched door and shaker shingles.
I don’t unbuckle and look at her. “What is this place?”
She presses the button, and my seat belt unclicks. “Come on.”
“If this is some ambush, I’ll never forgive you. Is someone in there?” I open the passenger door but step out cautiously.
“Just come and see,” Palmer says.
I follow her up the old brick walkway toward the arched sky-blue door that reminds me of my great-grandma Dori’s eyes and the tint of her gray hair. I was in my early twenties when she passed away, and I miss her to this day. She was a force to be reckoned with.
Palmer slides a key out of her pocket and unlocks the door, pushing it open, motioning for me to go in.
The cabin is just as small as it looked from the outside. There’s a living room, a small kitchen with a table and chairs, and a short hallway that I assume leads to a bedroom and bathroom.
It takes me a moment before I look at the walls and see photographs of Great-Grandma Dori and Great-Grandpa Philip, a man I only know from pictures and stories since he passed well before I was born.
The pictures consist of them here, by the lake, and skating when they were much younger.
It’s only of them. There are no pictures of my parents, or Palmer’s, or any of my aunts and uncles.
“Is this a love den?” I turn to face Palmer.
A laugh bubbles out of her. “It was theirs.” Her eyes fall to a picture of Great-Grandma Dori standing in front of Great-Grandpa Phillip on bended knee. It’s a tad grainy and age is definitely getting it to, but it was their proposal for sure.
“I didn’t think our family could keep secrets. Am I the only family member who doesn’t know about this place?”
She shakes her head and explains to me that the cabin was left to our eldest cousin, Calista, by Great-Grandma Dori.
She saw it as a place for each of her great-grandchildren to find refuge and peace during a time of need.
Calista passed it down to Brinley, who passed it to Lance, who then offered it to Palmer.
Each one of them needed a place to escape from their reality, where no one knew to find them.
“And once you feel more settled and have your plan, or if you see one of the cousins struggling, you pass it on to the next person of your choosing.” She smiles as she looks around the small, dated space.
“It’s like a refuge in the storm. When everything beyond these walls is a mess, you can come here to try to make sense of it.
You feel her, right?” Palmer wipes a tear on her cheek.
“I felt her energy the first time I walked in.”
I nod. She’s right. It’s as if Great-Grandma Dori is here to talk to and give me advice. It’s like heaven to have somewhere to disappear to where no one can find me, and I can take the time to figure out what I want for myself.
I draw her into a hug. “Thank you.”
When I pull back, there are tears in both of our eyes.
I hope this place will be helpful , she signs.
“It will be.” I give her a watery smile, willing the words to be true.
Surely I’ll figure this out and come out the other side.