Chapter 38
thirty-eight
HARPER
M y phone rings, and I almost leap up off my office chair.
I’m wound so tight because today is the day that Finn returns to Lake Starlight.
Our daily check-ins when he was done driving each day have felt like foreplay, as though we’ve been edging each other for days and days, and now that he’s returning, my body feels as if it’s a hair’s breadth from combusting.
I knew when he left that I’d miss his company.
What I didn’t realize was how much. So much so that I was willing to admit to it over text apparently.
It felt so much easier that way, not having to look him in the eye and tell him that my attraction to him is about more than our sexual chemistry.
It was the chickenshit way out, which isn’t usually my style.
But this feels big. As big as when I found out I was pregnant in some ways.
I pick my phone up off the desk and see Maven’s name.
“Hey, Maven.” I try to keep my voice relaxed so as to not give away where my head is at.
“Hey. How’s it going?”
“It’s going.” I close my laptop. I can’t concentrate on anything today.
She gives me a knowing chuckle. “You still expecting Finn home tonight?”
“At some point, yeah. I haven’t heard any differently.”
“Then I’m going to stay at my parents’ place tonight. Give you guys some privacy.”
“You don’t have to do that. It’s not a big deal.” I spin the pen on my desk in circles. Anything to get rid of this pent-up sexual frustration that’s coursing through my body.
“Come on, Harp, I’ve seen the way you’ve been acting since he’s been gone. I think you guys have some things to figure out.”
I frown, though she can’t see me. “How have I been acting?”
“Like a puppy waiting for its owner to come home.”
“Seriously?” I say with annoyance.
“It’s not a bad thing. In fact, I think it’s awesome. Finn is a great guy, and if you two can make a go of it, that’s amazing for your child. I’ll spend a few days at my parents’ place, and then we can talk about where you’re at, see what it means for me.”
Guilt slides down my shoulder like bird poop. “I feel bad.”
“Don’t. We knew when I moved in that it wasn’t a forever situation. I’ll figure it out.”
“Okay, well thanks. You’re the best.”
“Don’t mention it. Have fun tonight.” She singsongs the last part, and I laugh.
“Talk to you later.”
After I hang up, I flop back into my chair. With every minute that ticks by, I get more turned on by the possibilities of what might happen when I see Finn again and also more nervous.
What if he pretends the things we said over text never happened? What if with every mile he drives closer to town, he second-guesses the way we were over text and decides it would be better not to take the risk?
My phone buzzes with a text on my desk, and I pick it up. It’s from Finn. I straighten up in my chair and read his message.
I’m home. Where are you?
At the office. Leaving now.
I quickly pack up my things, lock my office, and walk to my car.
My fingers tap on the steering wheel with anxious energy the entire drive over. This is it. This is where things will either shift between Finn and me, or where he’ll ignore our text messages, and we will forever remain friends and coparents but nothing more.
I hold my breath as I pull into the driveway and walk on numb legs toward the front door.
With my hand on the doorknob, I take a deep breath and step inside.
Disappointment floods me that he’s not there waiting for me.
I drop my purse at the front door and hang my coat on the hook, stepping farther into the house.
When I reach the bottom of the stairway, the bathroom door at the top of the stairs opens, and Finn walks out wearing only a towel.
He stills when he sees me, and the way he looks at me with such hunger in his gaze leaves no room for doubt as to whether he’s going to acknowledge all the things we implied with our texting.
“I wanted to be downstairs to greet you, but I wanted to have a quick shower first. Get the grime from driving off of me.”
He must not have been shaving on his cross-country trip, as he has a short beard now. I like it. It makes him look more mature, more manly, and like a protector, which I wouldn’t have thought I was into, but apparently, I am.
I don’t say anything as I make my way up the stairs. Finn’s eyes devour me, and I do the same to him, taking in his dripping hair, the muscles and the tattoos across his chest and arms, the way he licks his lips as I get closer.
Once I’m at the top, he tugs me into him. My hands splay on the damp, warm skin of his pecs.
“Are we doing this?” he asks, his gaze intense, asking me one last time.
I don’t hesitate. “Yes.”
His lips are on mine the next second, and I moan into our kiss. Finn’s hands thread through my hair, and my fingertips dig into the skin on his chest when our tongues meet. He directs the kiss, using the hands in my hair to tilt my head exactly where he wants it.
The fresh, outdoorsy scent of Finn’s body wash surrounds me, and I press myself into him, desperate for friction on my heavy breasts.
One hand leaves my hair and travels down my back until he cups my ass. I swallow down his groan when he squeezes, then his hand travels around to the front, cradling my small bump.
He pulls away and looks down between us. “Your stomach really popped when I was gone.”
It has. I don’t look nine months pregnant or anything, but it’s clear that I’m pregnant now, not bloated after a large meal.
I have a heartbeat of self-consciousness until he says, “Fuck, that’s hot. Just so you know, I’m pretty sure I have a pregnancy kink.”
I laugh, but he doesn’t.
“I’m serious. I see why your uncle Rome got your aunt Harley pregnant so many times.”
“Can we not talk about my aunt and uncle right before we have sex?”
“Okay, scratch all that. Starting over… fuck, you’re hot.”
His words heat the blood in my veins, and I don’t want to wait any longer to have this man again.
I’ve waited long enough. So I dip one finger under the towel and pull forward, causing it to drop to the floor around his feet.
Finn’s proud erection is a steel rod, and the space between my thighs hums in anticipation.
“I like a woman who knows what she wants,” Finn says, bringing his lips to my neck.
I sigh and arch my head back, pushing my hands into his hair. “Finn, don’t make me wait any longer. Please.”
He straightens. “Now how can I leave you waiting when you ask so nicely?” Finn takes my hand and leads me to my bedroom.
I don’t feel guilty at all for checking out his muscular ass as I walk behind him.
Once we’re inside, he flicks on the light, but I turn it back off.
The sun is low in the sky and will begin its descent soon, so we can still see each other enough.
And although he seemed to like what he saw of my tummy in the hallway, there’s a difference between seeing it in clothes and seeing me naked.
Finn turns to face me. “Why’d you turn them off?”
I shrug a little shyly. “I don’t know.”
He tugs me into him. “Please, Harp? That night we were together, just the lamp on the far side of the room was on, and I didn’t get a good look at you. I want to see you this time. Especially this.” He settles his hand over my belly.
The way he’s looking at me makes me feel beautiful, so I agree. He flicks the light back on.
“Can I undress you?” he asks.
I give him the once-over, standing naked and proud in front of me, seemingly without any self-consciousness at all. “Yes.”
He slowly undoes the buttons of my silk blouse. With every button he loosens, the tension in my body increases. When they’re all undone, he slides the soft material over my shoulders, and it flutters to the floor.
His breath catches as he takes in the black lace bra with green trim I wore especially for him today. Then he presses a kiss to my collarbone before dragging his tongue up the column of my neck until he reaches my ear. Goose bumps break out over my flesh.
“Did you wear this knowing what it would do to me when I saw it?” he practically growls in my ear.
“Maybe.” My voice is breathy and barely there.
He tsks in my ear. “I’m going to make you pay for that.”
“I look forward to it.”
His hands slide around to the back of my skirt, and he undoes the button at the top and slides down the zipper before pushing the fabric down past my hips, allowing it to pool at my feet. Then he steps back to take me in.
“Matching panties.” Finn grips the base of his cock and strokes. “You look like a fucking smoke show right now, Harp. Barely covered in this lace, your belly swelling with our child.” He groans and squeezes the tip of his length.
“Do I look better out of it?” I reach behind and undo my bra, letting the straps fall over my shoulders and down my arms. Then I slide my panties down my legs and kick them away.
“Definitely better.” Finn strokes himself, and the corded muscles in his forearm flex. “Now get on the bed so I can feast on you before I fuck you.”
I squeeze my thighs together, remembering how much I liked when Finn took control the one night we were together.
I do as he says, making my way over to the bed, and when I crawl up on my hands and knees, my backside facing him, he audibly groans.
I turn around and lie down with my head on the pillow, and Finn stands at the end of the bed still stroking himself, his gaze roaming over me slowly as though he’s cataloging each and every feature.
“I’ve been thinking about this every day since I left. Considering all the things I might do to you if I ever had you again, and now that I’m here in this moment, I can’t decide what I want to do first.”
“Guess we’ll just have to do it over and over again.” I give him my sultriest smile.
He crawls up the bed and comes to lie beside me, bending to kiss me then bringing his lips over my jawline and down my neck until his lips are wrapped around my nipple.
The suction of his mouth causes both pleasure and pain because of how sensitive they are, and I moan, my hand diving into his hair.
The scratch of his short beard on my breast only adds to the sensations culminating in a throbbing between my thighs.
Finn moves to my other breast and delivers the same treatment, flicking the nipple he just left with his thumb.
I grow slicker between my legs and arch my breast into his mouth.
After a few minutes, he travels down between my legs, pulling them apart for his attention.
When I try to close them, he holds them open.
“You’re beautiful everywhere.”
Before I can respond, he dives in, his tongue stroking from my opening to my clit, where he sucks.
The sensation almost sends me flying up off the bed, it’s so intense.
I’m not sure if Finn is just really good at this or if pregnancy has made me more sensitive than usual, but with a few strokes of his tongue, I’m already close to coming.
Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been thinking about this for three weeks, and now the time is finally here.
Finn continues to lap at me, driving me closer and closer to orgasm. My hand is in his hair, tugging, and my hips move in tandem with his strokes. Just when I feel the wave of my climax ready to crest over me, Finn pulls away.
I cry out in dismay, my gaze on him.
“Told you I’d get you back.” He’s grinning.
The son of a bitch is grinning.
Something like a mewl comes out of my mouth as I arch my back, silently begging for him to return to the spot between my legs, but he moves up my body and cups my face, kissing me. I taste myself on his tongue, and the way he kisses me leaves no question as to how much he wants me.
After a minute, he pulls away and looks down at me. “There’s no going back if we do this.”
I place my hand on his cheek too, maintaining eye contact. “I want this, Finn. I want you .”
With one hand on his base, he pushes slowly inside me. Neither of us looks away from the other as he pulls out then pushes in a little further, again and again until he’s fully seated inside me.
He gives me a minute to get used to the stretch of him, then he’s moving over me. Something in my chest shifts into place, and I know for certain that he was right when he said there would be no going back.