Skylar
“Baby!” Josh screams as he barrels off stage and straight into me.
Faster than I can blink, he picks me up off the ground. “I killed it tonight. You saw me, right?”
Guilt flickers in my chest, because even though I watched the entire concert from the wings…
All I saw was Memphis.
“You guys were gre—”
His mouth plows into mine. The sweat he’s covered in seeps into my clothes as he shoves his tongue down my throat and kneads my ass.
I smack his shoulder, motioning for him to put me down. I’m not trying to ruin his good mood, but judging from all the whistling backstage—and Storm yelling for us to get a room—we’re turning into quite the spectacle.
My feet have barely touched the ground when Phoenix waltzes over and throws his arms over each of our shoulders, pulling us into a huddle. “Party in my suite tonight. I better see your sexy asses there.”
I squeak when he slaps my butt—and Josh’s—before walking off.
Yeah, he’s definitely been spending a lot of time with my boyfriend.
“Come with me.”
Grabbing my hand, Josh leads me into the empty greenroom and closes the door behind us.
I’m pondering how to turn down sex without hurting his feelings when he frames my face with his hands.
“I’m so damn lucky to have you.” Inclining his head, he whispers, “You saved my life.”
A lump fills my throat. Not only because of his words, but because I’m getting a glimpse of the boy I fell in love with. “Josh.”
“It’s been a while since we’ve been able to just relax.” I nearly moan when he starts massaging my shoulders, working out the knot of tension that never seems to go away. “I’m sorry you always have to take care of my dumbass, baby. You’re too good to me. How about we make tonight about us?”
I sway into his touch. “What do you mean?”
Thoughts of lying in bed while watching movies and eating takeout flit through my head.
“Open your mouth.”
“For wha—”
A chalky pill hits my tongue. I go to spit it out, but he places his finger over my lips and I end up swallowing.
“Relax. You know I’d never give you something that would hurt you.”
“What did you give me?”
He bops my nose. “Just a little E.”
Is he freaking kidding me? He knows I don’t experiment with drugs.
One party animal is more than enough in a relationship.
“What the hell? I’ve never done—”
“Calm down.” Bringing our foreheads together, he wraps his arms around my waist. “Trust me, you’re going to love it. It’s like you in pill form…sweet, affectionate, and loving.”
“You shouldn’t have given me something without asking first.”
He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “I didn’t ask because I knew you’d freak, and we’d spend the night arguing.”
He has a point, but still.
I open my mouth, but he cuts me off. “It’s nothing bad.
Believe me, no one gets addicted to molly.
” Shoulders hunching, he expels a sharp exhale.
“I just wanted to have some fun with you tonight. You’re always taking care of me, baby girl.
And while I appreciate it, I don’t need you to be my mom.
I need you to be my girlfriend again…because I really fucking miss her. ”
As much as I hate that he slipped me a pill without asking, I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t truth behind his words.
Most days I feel more like his caretaker instead of his girlfriend.
His expression collapses. “I want my best friend back. We used to have so much fun together. Don’t you remember?”
His words tug on my heartstrings. “Yeah.”
First kisses. Passing me little love notes during class.
Staying up all night talking about everything and nothing.
The time we went skinny dipping at the lake one summer and the sheriff caught us.
Giving me piggyback rides whenever my feet hurt.
Telling him my darkest secrets and holding him close while he told me his.
I remember it all.
Because you never forget your first love.
Sad blue eyes bore into mine. “Can we go back to being us again? Please?”
I don’t have the heart to deny him. Not when he’s being so candid and vulnerable.
Not when he’s giving me hope that things will get better.
“Okay, but I draw the line at skinny dipping.” I wind my arms around his neck. “It’s December. We’ll freeze our asses off.”
Excitement illuminates his face, and he kisses me. “There’s my girl.”
Josh was right, the satin tank top was a great choice. I love the way it feels on my skin. So soft and cool.
Smoothing my short leather skirt, I study my reflection in the hotel mirror. For once, I don’t see any flaws staring back at me. I feel great. Perfect.
I give Josh a little curtsy. “How do I look?”
“You’re the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.” Sinking to his haunches, he pats his back. “Hop on, beautiful. I’ll give you a ride to the party.”
Giggling, I climb on his back piggyback style, and we make our way out of the room and down the hall.
A little too fast, though, because my skirt rides up and my heels slip off.
“Wait, baby. Man overboard. I lost my feet prisoners.”
“You don’t need them. Phoenix’s suite is at the end of the hall.”
Looking over my shoulder, I bid them adieu. “Sorry, my loves.”
Josh laughs. “God, I missed you.”
I missed me, too.
We pass Chandler who’s walking the opposite direction. “Hey, Chan-chan. Where ya going?”
He blinks, taken aback. “To my room.”
I pout because that sounds boring and the guy seriously needs to loosen up. “Oh, come on. You aren’t gonna party with us?”
He gives Josh a look I can’t quite decode, but it’s not a happy one. “Looks like the party has already started.”
Wanting to thwart off his bad mood, I reach over and pat his cheek. “I love you, Chandler.”
I love everyone.
His face turns bright red…and then he shakes his head and marches off.
“Look at that,” Josh says as we continue our voyage. “You made him blush.”
“What can I say? Love is my superpower.”
“Damn right it is.” He comes to a stop in front of Phoenix’s suite. “Ready to have some fun?”
“Hell yeah.”
This is the best night of my life.
The door opens and euphoric music hammers my eardrums. There are so many different instruments making so many different sounds. I want to listen to it forever.
“Oh my god. I love this song.”
I scan the flock of people and spy Phoenix with his arm slung around a cute redhead.
“Phoenix!”
He looks up, grinning when he sees us. “Hey, you’re here.”
He ambles over and I can’t help but touch his shirt. It’s so smooth beneath my fingertips.
“This feels amazing.”
I want bedsheets made out of whatever material this is.
He peers down at the shirt in question. “Thanks. It’s silk.”
Grabbing his cheeks, I pull his face until we’re nose to nose. “I love you, Phoenix.”
Those blue eyes go big. “I love you too, Skylar.” His gaze slides to Josh. “Bro, you didn’t.”
“What?” Josh says. “She’s having fun. Ain’t that right, baby?”
“So much fun.”
I thrust my fist into the air, but end up losing my balance.
Luckily, Phoenix comes to my rescue and fixes me. “Careful.”
“I am so careful,” I assure him.
He side-eyes Josh. “Right.”
Crooking a finger, I summon him closer. “Ecstasy is me in pill form. How awesome is that?”
He gives me a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes before disappearing.
I’m bummed because I wanted to hang out with him. However, my dark cloud lifts when I look across the room and spot Storm on the love seat with a hottie in his lap.
“Storm!” I slap Josh’s shoulder. “Bring me to him.”
Grumbling under his breath, my man indulges me. “Fine, but it’s gonna cost you.”
He puts me down when we reach the couch and takes a seat next to Storm. Grabbing my hips, he pulls me onto his lap. “Five minutes.” His lips find the shell of my ear. “Then we’re having some alone time.”
Ugh. We’re supposed to be having fun.
Wanting to focus on the positive, I turn to my favorite person in the whole entire room. “Teddy bear.” Leaning over, I pet the heavy dark scruff on his face. “It’s so fuzzy. I love you, fuzzy bear.”
Soft brown eyes fill with concern. “You all right?”
Clutching my chest, I give him a reassuring smile. “Oh, I’m great.”
This is the best I’ve felt in a long time. “I—”
I stop talking when the brunette on Storm’s lap shoves her tongue down his throat.
“Damn. You two are hot.”
Breaking the kiss, the girl gives me a flirty wink. “You’re pretty hot yourself.”
I like her. She’s nice.
“That’s what I’m talking about,” Josh chimes in while massaging my shoulders. “It’s all love, baby.”
Shifting, I look at him. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. Give me a kiss, sexy.”
I sweep my lips against his, but he presses down on my chin until my mouth opens. A second later his tongue brushes mine.
I eagerly kiss him back because whatever’s in this is the stuff dreams are made of.
I’m the happiest version of myself and nothing can bring me down.
“Look who decided to join us tonight,” Storm says.
I whip around as Phoenix and Memphis park their booties on the loveseat across from us.
My heart speeds up and my palms grow sweaty.
He’s here.
“Hi.”
Paying me no mind, Memphis juts his chin at Storm. “Hey.”
My heart deflates like a popped balloon. So much for not letting anything get me down.
He can’t even bother to look at me.
“Wow,” the girl sitting on Storm’s lap drawls. “Your tits are amazing.”
Sliding his hand up my torso, Josh squeezes one. “Worth every penny.”
Beaming, I do a little shimmy. “Yes, they are.”
They’re the only thing I like about my body.
I give my head a shake. Nope. Negative Nancy wasn’t invited to the party.
Nostrils flaring, Memphis lights a cigarette.
Neither was the brooding asshole.
“Wanna see ’em?” Josh offers.
The girl’s face lights up like a Christmas tree. “Can I?”
Josh plants a soft kiss on my shoulder blade. “What do you think, baby? Wanna show off your gorgeous tits?”
The sensation of his lips on my skin sends tingles everywhere. “Mmhhh.”
“Arms up.”
Cool air caresses my skin as he lifts my shirt over my head and unclasps my bra.
“Whoa,” the brunette exclaims. “Those are gorgeous.”
A faint blush heats my cheeks. “Thanks.”
She zeros in on my chest with keen interest. “Can I touch them?”
“Come on,” my boyfriend urges. “Don’t be shy.”
Taking her hand, I place it on my boob.
Her skin is way softer than Josh’s.
“That feels nice.”
I don’t want to be the only topless girl here, though. People are starting to stare.
Well, with the exception of the one person I actually want staring at me.
Despite being directly in his line of sight, he’s doing everything he can to avoid glancing in my direction.
I turn to my new friend. “Show me yours.”
The girl bites her lip. “Okay.”
“Fuck yes,” Storm says as the girl whips off her top. “Now we’re having fun.”
“Wanna have even more fun?” Josh whispers as his hand travels up my thigh.
A shiver runs through me and my nipples pucker. “That tickles.”
Memphis’s hand tightens around his beer bottle.
I have his full attention now, but he doesn’t appear to be enjoying the show.
I must not do it for him anymore. Maybe I never did.
“Your girl’s tits are nice, but my girl’s are nicer,” Josh tells Storm.
I shake my head. “That’s not nice.”
I’m not sure why he feels the need to instigate an argument with his bandmate, especially at the expense of a beautiful girl.
An eerie feeling comes over me. It reminds me of high school.
Josh would start shit with the popular guys…but would have the last laugh after he convinced them to suck him off.
Just so they could fuck me.
And he could satisfy the demon inside him.
Fortunately, after that day at the hospital, Josh promised to stop all that humiliation stuff.
It’s the only promise he kept.
“Well, I have a bigger dick than you,” Storm declares, “So I guess it all evens out in the end, huh?”
“Burn,” Phoenix yells.
In my peripheral, I see Memphis’s lips twitch.
Goose bumps break out when the hand sliding up my thigh disappears under my skirt.
The amusement on Memphis’s face vanishes…and he looks downright homicidal.
However, I can’t focus on his seesaw expressions because the sensations coursing through my body are distracting.
“That feels so good.” My eyes flutter closed as he rubs me through my panties. “I want everyone to touch me.”
And by everyone? I mean a certain guitar player.
But I can’t say that because doing so would make me a terrible person.
“Fuck this,” Memphis bites out.
Huh?
I open my eyes as he storms out of the room.
No. Don’t go.
Blowing out a breath, Phoenix stands. “I’m gonna grab another drink. You two—or should I say four—have fun.”
“I’m a way better musician than you are,” Storm grunts.
Evidently their little tit for tat isn’t over yet.
Josh cackles, but there’s not a drop of hilarity. “Maybe, but I can make a girl come harder than you ever could.”
I gasp when Josh shoves a finger inside me. Whoa.
“Josh—”
“Be good,” he whispers.
A wave of uneasiness washes over me. I don’t like where this is going.
Or that Memphis is no longer around.
“You can’t make your girl come at all, motherfucker. I sleep in the bunk across from you, remember?”
The arm around my waist constricts and he adds two more fingers.
Ouch. That’s too much.
“Josh,” I hiss, but he ignores me.
Drawing a breath, I attempt to calm myself down.
It’s okay. Everything’s okay.
Only it’s not.
Because my boyfriend ignoring me is no longer the problem.
A fog of doom swallows me up.
I see his face.
I smell his scent.
No. No. No.
Not now. Not here.
“Think you can do a better job than me?” Josh challenges.
Breathe, Sky. Just breathe.
“I know I can,” Storm states matter-of-factly.
“What do you think, baby?” Sweeping my hair to one side, he kisses the crook of my neck. “Want to prove him wrong?”
“I…” I want—no, need—to leave. “Josh.”
“Shhh. It’s okay.” He spins me around to face him. “Don’t be nervous.”
I’m beyond nervous…because Shane comes out of the shadows.
My heart flies to my throat, panic taking over. “Jo—”
“Go with Storm, baby.” Gripping my chin, he brings his mouth to my ear. “But don’t you dare let him make you come. Go in there and show him what a loser he really is. Understand me?”
The sick feeling in my stomach intensifies.
Before I can protest, Storm grabs my hand, escorting me to the bedroom on the far side.
However, he turns at the last minute, leading me out of Phoenix’s suite.
My legs shake like jelly as we walk down the hall.
I don’t want this.
We reach his room and he hauls me inside, closing the door behind him.
Terror thrums through my veins as he ambles over to the bed and sits, that carefree, happy feeling long gone.
Dread twists my stomach when he wraps his fingers around my wrist and tugs me to him. “You okay?”
No.
Because he’s here. He’s always here.
Nausea swirls in my stomach and the walls start closing in.
The suffocating feeling only gets worse when Storm takes off his shirt.
“I’ll do whatever you want,” I whisper, hoping it will make him go easy on me.
Sometimes it hurts less when you give the monster what he wants.
Worry lines his forehead. “You’re gorgeous, Skylar. But that’s not why I brought you here.” My lungs constrict when he wrestles the fabric over my head. “Hold still.”
Oh god.
I. Can’t. Breathe.
I can’t get him off me.
“Stop!”