Skylar
“You’re so talented,” a pretty blonde coos to Josh. “Where did you learn to play like that?”
“All natural, sweetie.” He waggles his brows. “I’m a self-taught prodigy.”
Oh, puh-lease. Self-taught, my ass.
Rolling my eyes, I shoot my gaze across the bus.
My stare snags on Memphis who’s chatting with some busty brunette at the kitchen table.
While he isn’t outright rude to the groupies, he doesn’t go out of his way to entertain them either.
Usually, he hangs out in his bunk.
But that isn’t the case tonight.
Thanks to the music coming from Phoenix’s phone and Josh talking the blonde’s ear off, I can’t hear what they’re saying…but her body language speaks volumes.
She’s definitely flirting with him.
Beside me, Josh snorts a line of white powder off the blonde’s wrist. “You smell good.”
And my boyfriend is definitely flirting with her.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see the brunette get up and move to Memphis’s side of the booth.
I expect him to excuse himself, but he slings an arm around her slim shoulders.
And then those gorgeous brown eyes drop to the huge jugs that are spilling out of her top.
My back teeth meet with a clack.
I’m conjuring up ways to break up their little pow wow when liquid splashes my arm.
“Sorry, babe,” Josh slurs. “The beer slipped out of my hand.”
“Am I distracting you too much?” the blonde inquires with a giggle.
“Oh, you’re for sure a distraction,” Josh murmurs.
However, I’m unable to peel my stare from the kitchen table.
Leaning in, the brunette whispers something in Memphis’s ear.
I’m not sure what, though because as far as expressions go, Memphis could give the best poker player a serious run for their money.
I breathe a sigh of relief when Memphis motions for her to let him out of the booth.
Buh-bye, Felicia.
However, my relief is short-lived when she follows behind Memphis who’s heading for the back of the bus.
I’m hoping it’s just a case of her being overzealous, but Storm claps Memphis’s shoulder when he passes them. “About damn time, brother.”
A torrent of anxiety washes over me and my stomach free falls when Memphis and the girl disappear from my sight.
He’s going to have sex with her.
My eyes lock with Storm’s. He blanches before dipping into the bathroom.
I clutch my chest. She’s probably on her knees right now.
Oh, god. I think I’m going to be sick.
Phoenix plops down next to me and hands me a stack of napkins. “Here.”
When I make no move to take them, he wipes the beer off my arm.
“You’re so fucking hot,” Josh slurs.
But all I can think about is what Memphis is doing in that back room with the brunette.
He turned down my secret sex with no-strings offer…but he has no problem screwing her?
He doesn’t even know that girl.
Sighing, Phoenix nudges my shoulder. “Come on. Let’s take a walk.” He rises from the bench. “You don’t need to see this shit.”
He’s right. I don’t.
As far as I’m concerned, being on the opposite side of the world would be too close for comfort right now.
Composing myself, I follow him off the bus and across the empty parking lot.
Whistling, Phoenix tucks his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Nice weather we’re having.”
I pin him with a look. “Seriously?”
One of the things I like most about him is that he’s a straight shooter who cuts right through the bullshit.
He pulls a blunt from behind his ear and lights it. “I’d let you hit this, but the last guy who got you high ended up with a black eye.”
Fair enough.
“You’re quite the poet,” I muse. “No wonder the song you wrote hit number one.”
Wincing, he takes a deep drag off the blunt. “Let’s not talk about me.”
I playfully bump his shoulder with mine. “Where is Phoenix and what have you done with him?”
Because the Phoenix I know and adore loves talking about himself.
“Dartmouth.”
His response throws me. “That’s…oddly specific. What’s at Dartmouth?”
“Not what…who.”
Well, this is interesting. As far as I know, Phoenix’s most serious relationship is with Storm.
I can’t help but grin. I don’t even know the girl, but she must be special if Phoenix can’t stop thinking about her.
“What’s her name?”
I’m dying to know all the deets. However, he dodges my interrogation like a pro.
“Nuh-uh. This isn’t about me, remember?”
Dang it. The one time he doesn’t want to talk about himself.
“Well, everything’s fine and dandy over here so—”
“Skylar.”
The pity in his eyes sends a wave of embarrassment through me.
“You probably think I’m an idiot, huh?”
Because what the hell else would he or anyone else think?
He takes a long drag off his blunt. “I think you’re the furthest thing from one. I do, however, think you’ve gotten yourself into quite a pickle.”
That gets a laugh out of me. “A pickle? Okay, boomer.”
He levels me with a look. “A steaming pile of deep shit. Is that better?”
No. Just more accurate.
I have to tread carefully, though. As much as I like Phoenix and consider us friends, he’s close with Josh, and the loyalty needle will always tip in his direction because they’re bandmates.
“Our relationship is complicated. Josh and I have been together forever and—”
“That’s not the brother I was talking about.”
Fuck my life. Hard.
I start to protest, but he cuts me off. “You looked really upset back there, but it wasn’t because of what your boyfriend was doing.”
“I…um.”
I am so screwed.
He raises his hands. “Hey, I’m not judging. I know what it’s like to be torn between two things you love.”
“You do?”
“Yeah.” Squeezing the back of his neck, he exhales. “But here’s the thing. You can’t have them both.”
“Why? Because only men are allowed to have their cake and eat it too?”
Screw that. Men aren’t the only ones who have sexual needs.
I deserve some cake, damn it.
Especially the kind that makes my body feel things my boyfriend never could.
“That’s not why.”
I wait for him to elaborate, but he doesn’t.
Fixing my ponytail, I look up at the night stars, hoping they’ll give me the solution to all my problems.
Sadly, they don’t.
It’s clear Phoenix doesn’t have the answer either, but I need someone to confide in and he’s always been easy to talk to.
“What if my heart wants one, but my conscience is forcing me to choose the other?”
“Then you end up doing what I did.”
“What’s that?”
A sad glint enters his gaze. “Pursuing both.”
“But you just said I couldn’t—”
“Because it’s only temporary. At some point, you’ll come to a fork in the road, and you’ll have no choice but to sacrifice one in order to keep the other.” Pain illuminates his face. “And once that happens, there’s no going back. You’ll have to live with the consequence.”
My heart clenches. Don’t I know it.
He snuffs out the cherry of his blunt and places the roach in a metal tin. “We should head back.”
We return just in time to see the groupies sauntering down the stairs.
Except for the one who went off with Memphis.
“Bye, Phoenix,” they chant in unison.
Phoenix salutes them. “Have a good night, ladies.”
I glare at my naked boyfriend who’s passed out cold on top of the kitchen table…with his dick in his hand.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Yet, I’m sure when I confront him about this tomorrow morning, he’ll claim nothing happened and that if I fucked him more, he wouldn’t be forced to jerk off after a hot girl flirted with him all night.
Phoenix mutters a string of obscenities under his breath. “I’ll grab his ankles. You grab his wrists.”
We should leave his ass out here, but I don’t need the reminder—or the visual—first thing in the morning.
The smell of another woman’s perfume permeates my nostrils as we lug him out of the kitchen.
Josh is right. I should go to the gym. But only so it will be easier whenever I have to drag his stupid intoxicated ass to bed.
He mumbles something incoherent as we toss him onto the bottom bunk.
“Shut up.”
Phoenix looks at me when we’re done. “You good?”
I’m most definitely not good. But I give him a nod anyway and he climbs into his own bed.
“Piece of shit,” I mutter before I snatch my pillow out from under Josh’s head and move into the empty bunk above him.
This is without a doubt one of the worst nights I’ve ever had.
But not because my boyfriend got high and fucked someone else.
I toss and turn, trying to make myself comfortable enough to fall asleep, but it’s impossible.
For once, it’s not due to Chandler’s snoring.
Visions of Memphis and that girl keep playing in my mind like a bad song on repeat.
Rolling over, I peer up at his bunk.
It’s empty.
Which means…he’s still back there. Fucking her.
I clutch my chest. It feels like someone carved a hole into my heart with a dull razor blade.
I have no right to be jealous, but holy hell, I am.
So much so I wouldn’t be surprised if my skin turned green.
Both from envy and the need to puke.
I’m trying my hardest to calm down when I hear footsteps followed by the opening of a door. A moment later a shirtless Memphis strides past my bunk and into the bathroom.
The jealousy pumping through me is a potent mixture in my veins…followed by an agonizing spasm in my heart.
I wish I was her.
My conversation with Phoenix reverberates in my mind.
He said I can’t have both because it’s only temporary and in the end, I’ll have to sacrifice one.
But I’ve already been down that grueling fork in the road…and the choice was made for me.
Which means things will be different this time.
Because this time we know where the other stands and what the other wants out of it.
This time I won’t dive into the deep end and delude myself into thinking Memphis will join me…because now I know Memphis has zero interest in learning how to swim.
That, combined with my promise to Josh, means us being anything more than secret fuck buddies isn’t in the cards.
It’s just sex.
Which is exactly what it was for him last time.
Only now it’s just sex for me, too.
My low self-esteem is trying its best to convince me he turned down my no-strings offer because he no longer finds me desirable, but my gut says that’s bullshit.
I felt how much he wanted me that night in Tennessee.
He’s just determined to punish me because he’s a stubborn asshole who can’t let go of whatever grudge he’s still holding and wants to taunt me until I can’t take it anymore.
Sitting up, I peer around. Everyone is sound asleep.
Determination—and the need to crack that armor he’s hiding behind—spurring me on, I climb out of my bunk and head toward the bathroom.