Chapter 20
POV: Camille?
There comes a point in every disastrous entanglement where you realize you can’t keep pretending and I had decided that long ago, even though I told myself to just keep dealing with it, because after all, I was the one who signed up for this. Literally.
But now—now I didn’t know how much longer I could take.
It had been two days.
Two days to think or in my case, overthink or rethink.
Who knows which won in the long run.
Two days of silence from Michael.
Two days of me replaying every second—his hands on me, the way he said mine like it was gospel and then wondering how I could feel so wanted in one breath and so disposable in the next.
By the end of day two, I’d had it—completely had it.
And Michael Vanderbilt was going to give me answers, even if I had to drag them out of him kicking and screaming.
I waited until everyone went home, everyone except me and him, of course.
It was nearly after 6:00 pm, and of course he was staring at his computer screen as if it had all the answers. Then he transitioned his gaze to a stack of files, labeled with sticky notes. His eyes were glued to it as if it was the most interesting thing he’s ever seen.
Meanwhile, my heart was threatening to hammer a hole through my ribs.
I shut the door behind me and cleared my throat. “We need to talk.”
His eyes flicked up, storm gray, as he scanned me for a moment too long. He looked irritated but for a moment he also looked like he was trying to undress me with his eyes. “Camille.”
I scoffed. “Don’t say my name like that, like you’re brushing me off before I even start!”
His brows rose but he didn’t interrupt, instead he let me keep going.
“I can’t do this anymore,” I said, trying to maintain a calm tone, but he always tore me into pieces.
“This back and forth—this hot and cold—I can’t, Michael. One minute you’re tearing me apart with your hands and then the next you’re looking through me like I don’t even exist. It’s driving me insane.”
“Camille..”
“No,” I cut him off. “You don’t get to smooth this over with a warning or a look. You don’t get to fuck me into forgetting. I need answers and I deserve them!”
His jaw tightened but his eyes didn’t change. “About what?”
I laughed bitterly, but there was no humor to the sound. “Don’t do that. Don’t act like you don’t know. About us—about what this is—about whether you actually feel anything or if I’m just a body you use to fuck when it’s convenient.”
The words hung heavy in the air and for a moment, I thought I saw him flinch. But then his face shuttered again and the mask slid back into place as it always did. “You knew what this was when you signed the contract.”
The contract—always the contract. That damned piece of paper that had started this entire disaster and now felt like the noose around my neck.
“I don’t care about the contract.” But I did.
I really did. I wanted it gone. I wanted it torn into pieces.
I wanted him without the contract. “I care about the fact that you keep saying things you don’t mean. You’re mine and this is real. Do you remember saying that—and not just once or twice but many times? Because I do, Michael. I remember it every time you look through me instead of at me.
I remember you confessing things to me, personal things, things that made you vulnerable.”
His lip twitched but he said nothing.
“God, Michael,” I whispered, my throat aching as I thought of how impossible this all was.
I knew that this wasn’t him—not the real him—just the one he kept locked away from the world.
“I can’t keep living in this limbo.” I took a breath.
“So here’s the truth…I’m ready to void the contract unless things change, unless you change.”
The silence that followed was suffocating.
Finally, he opened his mouth to speak. “Then here’s my answer. Continue the arrangement as it is, or walk away with nothing.”
Cold. Ruthless. Heartbreaking.
But instead of crying or screaming, “that’s it? That’s all you have to say?”
“Yes.”
I took a deep breath, trying to keep it together.
I shook my head in disbelief. “You’re afraid, that’s what this is. You’re terrified of admitting you feel anything for longer than a second because then you won’t be in control anymore and god forbid Michael Vanderbilt loses control!” I laughed but there was no humor to it.
His jaw clenched, but his eyes flashed and just for a second, I saw something like fear flash in his gaze. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Camille.”
My voice shook. “Yes, I do, because I’m afraid too. I’m afraid of what happens if I walk away—afraid of my life, my career, my future and I’m afraid of falling for you when you won’t even meet me halfway.”
The words spilled out uncontrolled after.
“But here’s the thing, Michael, we can’t let fear be the thing that decides our lives. We can’t keep choosing contracts over happiness. I want to choose happiness, even if it scares me, actually especially if it scares me.”
For a heartbeat, I thought I’d reached something inside him.
But then, just like always, he turned away.
He walked to the window, faced away from me and then he walked past me and toward the doors, leaving me alone in his office.
“Michael,” I whispered, hoping he’d turn.
But he didn’t look back.
The silence after he left was deafening.
I stood frozen, staring at the door, waiting for him to come back, waiting for him to tell me he didn’t mean it, that he was scared, and that he wanted me too. But the only sound was silence.
Continue the arrangement. Or walk away with nothing.
Because now I had a choice. And I didn’t know if I was strong enough to make it.
The elevator ride down felt endless and suffocating.
I thought about Jenna, about how she’d warned me I was in too deep.
I thought about the girl I’d been when this started, how I was willing to trade 6 months of her life for freedom from debt.
And I thought about the woman I was now. I was not free or happy, I was instead obsessed with a man who refused to give me anything but what he wanted.
By the time the elevator doors opened, I still didn’t have an answer.
Stay or walk away.
Fear or happiness.
Michael or myself.
Maybe tomorrow I’d know.
But tonight, all I knew was that the game had changed and I wasn’t sure if either of us would win.