Chapter 2 #2
Get it together, Katie. But I can’t. I keep seeing his signature on the offer letter—the same authority that could save my sister, now coiled tight with everything I’m trying not to want.
With an exasperated exhale, I lay back on the bed and stare up at the ceiling.
The sharp cut of Stephan’s jaw teases me, and I trace the bow of his lips with my mind’s eye.
My hand wanders down my abdomen, seeking the heat I can't pray away. A man has never touched me, and the sudden, crushing proximity to Stephan’s world is a current too powerful to contain.
The email header with Stephan’s name on it flashes before my eyes. I press my hips into my palm. The thin fabric grows damp.
Slowly, I begin to rub my clit, grinding my finger into the slick, swollen nub. A shock, white-hot and utterly consuming, rips through me. I let out a gasp—a sound I haven't made in a decade—and my hips instinctively lift and roll into the pressure.
The phantom heat of Stephan’s breath lingers against the vulnerable skin of my neck. My pulse thunders in my ears, coaxing a moan from the back of my throat. I abandon the tentative touch, raking my fingertips over my deep, wet center. Faster. Faster. I need to be punished.
My mind screams No, stop! But my body only answers with a deep, shuddering yes.
This is the ultimate betrayal of the life I left.
I arch my back, and the soft cotton of my T-shirt stretches tight across my hard nipples as I chase the friction.
The slickness between my legs is holy water turned to wine, and I drink it down, greedy and lost. I want the shame as much as the pleasure.
The pressure is a rising tide, blinding out the light and sound of the world.
It’s the idea of Stephan’s judgment I’m craving, the stern look in his eyes if he were to find me undone like this.
I beg silently, a frantic, whispered prayer, not for forgiveness, but for more.
I want him to catch me. I want to be punished by a man like him—someone who looks at me the way he did, sharp and unyielding.
I squeeze my eyes shut, a soundless cry gathering at the back of my throat.
My body is a drumbeat against my hand, building to a single, shattering note.
The air is too thick, too hot. I am not saved, I am broken.
The world tilts. Every muscle in my thighs locks as my orgasm rips through me.
It takes everything in me not to moan, but my sister is sleeping next door, and my mother is downstairs.
I collapse back onto the bed. Fingers slick with my pleasure. A light sweat cools on my brow, and a gentle ache pulses between my legs. I shouldn’t want this. I should be better than this. But my body has already turned Stephan into something he hasn’t earned.
I slide my underwear off and put on a fresh pair.
Maybe Stephan will get less attractive if he’s hard on me as a boss. Maybe it’s just a schoolgirl crush. I can only hope it goes away with time.
A soft knock pulls me out of my thoughts.
“Come in,” I say quickly, grabbing a pair of old gym shorts and tugging them on.
The door opens a few inches, and my sister’s face appears in the crack.
A pale silk scarf covers her head, its sheen draining the color from her face.
We’re only eighteen months apart, raised like twins, but now we couldn’t look more different.
Mary used to light up every room she walked into; now her glow feels borrowed, like candlelight fighting the wind.
That’s going to change. It has to. I can finally afford to get her the care she deserves.
“Just coming in to check on you, and to see how the interview went,” her voice is barely a whisper.
“It went great—I got the job!” I blurt, pulling her into my arms before she can say anything else.
“My boss…. he’s a little intimidating, but I think I can handle it.
” I squeeze her tighter. The smell of antiseptic and the faint sweetness of hospital soap cling to her skin.
She hugs me back hard, as if she’s afraid I’ll disappear, and I hold on just as tightly.
For the first time in a long time, the future doesn’t feel like something slipping away—it feels like something I might actually catch.
Mary pulls back just enough to look at me, a tired but mischievous smile tugging at her mouth. “So,” she says, voice raspy but warm, “what’s your new boss like?”
I roll my eyes. “We talked about my résumé, not his personality.”
“Uh-huh. But you mentioned him, which means you noticed.”
I can’t help laughing. “You’re impossible.”
She shrugs one thin shoulder. “You wouldn’t tell me even if you did think he was cute.”
“I didn’t say he was cute.”
“You didn’t have to.”
Her grin is weak, but it’s there, and for a second she looks like herself again.
I sit down beside her on the bed. “He’s intense,” I admit quietly. “The kind of man who makes everyone in the room sit up straighter.”
“Sounds scary.”
“Maybe a little,” I say. “But in a good way.”
Mary studies me, eyes bright despite the circles beneath them. “Be careful, Katie. You always think you can fix people. Maybe just let this job fix us for a while, okay?”
“Okay,” I whisper, brushing a stray hair from her forehead. “Just the job.”
She nods, satisfied, and leans against me until her breathing evens out. I stay there, still holding her hand, until the weight of the day starts to fade.
“Dinner’s ready, girls!” Mom calls from downstairs.
“Better not keep her waiting,” I say, helping my frail sister to her feet. Her grip is light but determined, the same as it’s always been.
We head downstairs together, one slow step at a time.