Chapter Forty-Two
Olivia
“Is everything okay?” I ask over breakfast at the counter the next day. Well, more like honey and lemon tea for me while Liam is munching on an English muffin and Silas’s jam.
“Yeah, why?” His voice lacks his usual bright energy.
“You look like you didn’t get much sleep last night.”
“Did I keep you up?” He runs a hand over his face with a small apologetic smile, his eyes troubled.
“No. But you have dark circles the size of Texas.”
He shrugs. “Just a little insomnia, nothing serious. It happens from time to time.”
“Stress?”
“No.”
“Then?”
“Just…things. It’s complicated.” He presses his lips together and looks down at his plate, avoiding my gaze.
Anxiety ripples over me. This isn’t like him. I’ve never had to struggle this hard to carry on a conversation with Liam. Actually, I can’t remember the last time he preferred looking at his plate rather than me.
The low energy emanating from him reminds me of how depressed Pochi was after Mom passed. After two weeks, the dog finally realized that Mom wasn’t coming back. Her ears and tail drooped for a long time afterward.
But how do you approach a man who won’t even look at you? It seems off that he’d be so emotional about his work. He loves his company, but he’s the type to thrive, not become despondent, over a challenge. Maybe it’s something to do with his family…?
The scene from the dinner flashes in my mind. Auric and Elita’s careless cruelty, disguised as light conversation. Have they done something to him again?
My hands clench. “Liam, I don’t know what happened, but remember I’m always here with you, okay? You’re my husband, and you matter.” I lay my cheek on his shoulder. “I’ve got your back. Always. And I’ll be waiting whenever you want to talk about…whatever’s bugging you.”
His body sags a little. “I know. Thanks.”
Still, his smile is limp. He waves when I leave with Simon. I blow him a kiss with an extra bright grin, but it doesn’t seem to cheer him up.
Simon notices and frowns. “Is he sick or something? If he is, you might want to be careful. You can’t just take any medicine in your condition.”
“No, he isn’t sick. He’s just…” I sigh. I don’t want to tell Simon how Auric and Elita treat Liam. It’s none of his business, and I refuse to reveal something that private about Liam to an outsider. “…distracted. Probably work stress.”
“Oh.” Simon clears his throat. “Must be rough.”
“Yeah.” I press the back of my head against the headrest and try to shift gears. “All right. Lay out the day for me.”
He outlines the day’s agenda as we crawl through the traffic.
I try to focus, but Liam’s dejected expression keeps tugging at my heart.
I feel like I should do something about it—although I’m not sure what.
Maybe bake him something delicious? I loved it when Mom baked chocolate chip cookies. Or have a movie night?
Decisions, decisions…
The office isn’t even half full. Today’s the last Friday of the month, which means it’s not only a half-day, but a lot of people can choose to work from home. I’d consider telecommuting if I didn’t have to see the diamond inlay samples from Kingswood Stones & Designs.
I respond to a few messages from the factories in Portugal and China.
The Chinese factory seems a bit disappointed that it didn’t get the contract to produce the luxury urns.
Souring the relationship wouldn’t work since they’ve done well so far.
I write back, mentioning a contract to make the tier that’s a step up from what they’re producing now.
It will give them a better margin, and hopefully soothe any hurt feelings they might have.
I send the email, then sit back and sigh. If only Liam were so simple. I have a doctor’s appointment to hear the baby’s heartbeat for the first time next week. Would inviting him make him happy?
The only way to know is to ask, so I’ll do it tonight over dinner. I’d love to see the light return to his eyes, the brightness to his smile. Every time he smiles, I feel like my world is warmer and sweeter.
I lay a hand over my belly. See? You’re my lucky star, and a bringer of joy.
Simon comes over with a bunch of samples. “Here’s how the inlay came out.” He hands me several urns. “I’m not sure about these.”
I take and examine them, one by one. The pale green and pearlescent silver colors are gorgeous, but I don’t like the way the stones are set or how they seem to lose some of their luster under the light.
“They aren’t bad…but they look kind of cheap for what we’re going for.
These are diamonds, so they need to make a statement.
Blue might be better. Talk to the designers and see how reliably Kingswood can provide the colored rocks.
I mean, I’m sure they can do it, but let’s just double-check. ”
My gaze drops to the Rubedo. If they can do red, they can do blue. The giant rock winks reassuringly under the office lights, as though to say, Hey, it’ll be fine. Liam’ll come around.
“Liam’s people are good.” I wave Simon away. Two other work items are waiting for my attention before I can call it quits.
Simon hesitates, then comes back to stand right in front of my desk.
“What?” I ask, reaching for the next contract on my desk to review.
“Are you developing feelings for your husband?”
I look up and meet his eyes. “What do you mean?”
“You’re…different now. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but you seem softer. Smile more, too, even when you’re sitting at your desk and I know you aren’t looking at the profits from last quarter.”
It’s not an accusation, but a warning to be cautious.
I look down at the Rubedo. “I’m still the same.” I choose my words with care. I’m not drunk, or grieving. But I’m not sure if I’m fundamentally different now. Or is he confusing my determination with something sweeter?
I harden my jaw. I’m so, so close to getting justice for Mom.
I can’t let myself get distracted and screw up.
“Feelings aren’t part of the plan.” It’s more a reminder to myself than an explanation for Simon.
The unexpectedly powerful surge of protectiveness I feel for the baby is already as much as I can handle.
“Plans can change. Feelings can evolve,” Simon says.
The jar of crystallized ginger catches my eye. I run my index finger over the smooth lid, then tap it with each statement. “Not my plan. Not my feelings.”
“But…” He stares into my eyes. Something sharp glints in the dark depths of his gaze. “You must love him by now. You’re having his baby.”
I pause. Is what I’m feeling love? It’s hard to say.
I’d be lying if I said I felt absolutely nothing, but love isn’t something I can afford.
Not now, maybe not ever. And I don’t want Simon to do anything rash to ensure I succeed in my plan.
He can be a bit overzealous. I roll the pavé ring around my finger with my thumb, like a prayer bead.
“I’ve seen you with him in the morning—”
“Simon, you don’t know what’s going through my head.
” My voice is flat and firm. I hate it that he continues to question me and make me doubt my actions.
It’s too late for second thoughts. Time to end this.
“I need the baby to get rid of Hugh. You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this moment.
Don’t put too much meaning behind what I do.
If Liam hadn’t been available, it would’ve been somebody else.
There are plenty of eligible bachelors.”
He nods, but it’s clear he’s not done. “Sure. LA’s full of guys. But…you didn’t ask me.” The softness of his tone can’t hide the rebuke underneath.
“What?”
“I could’ve helped. I’d never betray you.”
I take a moment to process this new angle. If I tell him he was never an option, he’ll feel hurt. Even if he were the only man in the world, it would’ve been tough. I’ve just never seen him that way, and I don’t think anybody would believe we were married.
Still, this obviously needs to be handled diplomatically. No need to lose a highly capable assistant over something like this. I soften my tone. “Simon, you aren’t a pawn to be discarded. You’re my partner, the only person who’s been by my side all these years. You’ve even managed to grow on me.”
He laughs softly. “I understand. I guess I’ll take what I can get.” He waits a moment, then nods to himself. “Well, anyway. Let me get back to work.”
I raise an eyebrow, watching him leave and close the door. What an uncomfortable interaction. And what’s up with rolling over so fast after pushing me like he did?
I frown and consider for a moment, but can’t make any real sense of the interaction. Well, whatever. Men can be weird.
Since I feel weird about asking Simon to stop by Target to get something for Liam, I tell him I’m leaving extra early and order a car service instead. I head to Target and pick up a cute blue card that says CONGRATULATIONS! YOU’RE GOING TO BE A FATHER! Then in the car, I write:
Liam,
Thank you for being in my life and for this miracle growing in my belly. The doctor says we should be able to hear the baby’s heartbeat for the first time this upcoming Tuesday at three. Can you join me? Sharing the moment with you would make it unforgettable.
Your wife, Olivia
I add a tiny heart and a star after my name and tap the card against my mouth. Maybe this will do the trick and put a smile back on his face. I want to see it again—and I want to be the one who put it there.
For the rest of the way home, I hum along to Axelrod’s latest hit, feeling like I’m winning at life.