25. Brooklyn
brOOKLYN
The wedding is tomorrow.
We’re at the rehearsal dinner and I’m on my second glass of champagne to help steady my nerves, but it’s not working.
It feels as if there are a million people here—Luka extended invitations to the majority of the wedding guests, not just the wedding party—most of whom I don’t even know.
Luka’s family. Family friends. Friends of friends.
Godparents, cousins twice removed, random children.
I try to keep my sights set on my parents and Mateo and those who have become closest to me in the short time Luka and I have been engaged.
His sister, brother, sister-in-law. They’re my tribe.
I take another sip as a sudden realization sinks in.
Luka’s family accepts me. They are fully on board with this sham wedding, and even his ice queen sister Emzee has come around to actually liking me.
In fact, she texts me silly pictures of her dog Munchkin almost every day now, and in return I send pics from my modeling gigs—anything visually interesting that would appeal to her photographer’s eye.
But in the end, I’m still keeping secrets from all of them, and the guilt I’ve been struggling with has only gotten worse since this damn dinner started.
“Excuse me,” an imperious female voice says.
I glance up to find the scrutinizing face of an older woman with perfectly styled gray hair, a sleek pinstripe pantsuit, and heavy gold earrings.
She offers the tips of her fingers in one of those dead fish-type handshakes.
I make it fast and plaster on a smile. Before she can say more, Luka gives her a warm hug with a genuine smile.
“Brooklyn, my aunt Vivian. She flew all the way from Morocco to be here and was hoping to get to know you before the wedding.”
“So you’re Brooklyn Moss,” she says, smiling tightly and giving a cocky tilt of her head as she side-eyes me. I feel judged, as if she knows what I’m up to. Then again, Luka comes from money. Lots of money. She’d probably scrutinize anyone he chose to marry.
“Yes. It’s wonderful to meet you,” I say pleasantly.
“Mmm-hmm. Well, they do say the heart wants what it wants.” She sniffs at me and then turns a bright gaze on Luka, patting his cheek affectionately, and my heart sinks.
He doesn’t speak about his family much. I know he lost his mother at a young age and was raised by a series of nannies and babysitters, but never had a steady maternal influence in his life.
Whatever relationship he has with his aunt, though, makes his eyes light up.
Once again, my guilt nearly suffocates me.
I’m a horrible person.
I start to rise to go get some fresh air, but then my bridesmaids come over to swarm me with hugs and hand me a shot of something dark and creamy.
I toss it back, wishing we had more time together, but they have to rush to take their seats since the meal is about to be served.
I don’t know if I’ll be able to eat a single bite. I’m so ready to get this over with.
Another relative of Luka’s comes over to meet me, and then another, and finally I’m standing because there are two more waiting in line to say hello and my arm begins to ache from lifting it while sitting to shake hands. My head is swimming, and it’s not from the alcohol.
Something warm touches between my shoulder blades and I look up to see Luka’s smiling face. His brow crinkles. “You look pale. Do you need to step out for a minute? I can cover for you.”
I smile and wave him off. “I’m fine. Just hungry, I guess.”
He looks like he doesn’t believe me. “I know this is probably overwhelming for you, but so much of my extended family flew in for the wedding that there wasn’t going to be time to visit with all of them tomorrow, so it seemed best to just invite everyone—”
“We talked about it already, and I really get it,” I reassure him. “Besides, it’s your wedding, too. Enjoy your family time.”
He rubs my back in a little circle—a gesture of appreciation.
He’s being sincere, once again showing me the side of him that might really care about me.
But I truly can’t tell if he’s into me, or just going through the motions because of the wedding, or trying to make up for the angry sex we had after he got so jealous over my trip to LA.
No matter his reasons, though, I can’t shake the feeling that something amazing could really blossom between us if we let it.
And I have to admit, I want that. We both deserve it, but I don’t know how to get from here to there.
Especially considering the contract that’s folded up in my purse right now. It’s a reminder that I haven’t fully committed to Luka the way I should if I want to be his real wife. Real wives don’t purposely deceive their husbands or play dirty to get what they want.
No. I could have Luka and a healthy relationship.
My name is already getting around in all the right circles thanks to my connection to him and my contract with Danica Rose Management.
I’ve had job after job lined up ever since I signed, and though most of them have been smaller campaigns, I know that in time I’ll be a household name, and everyone will know my face.
I’ll be making a ton of my own money, if I just stay the course.
Or…or I could sign the Elite Image contract and become a household name right now. No waiting required. The Maxilene contract will propel me to international fame and recognition in the blink of an eye. But if I do sign, I lose Luka.
Forever.
“And then he said, ‘Spirulina is nothing more than fancy algae. Why don’t you just scoop some out of the fountain on campus and put that in your smoothie?’” Everyone behind us starts laughing at Tori as she tries to impersonate her husband’s commanding, overly serious voice.
“I do not sound like that,” Stefan protests, sounding commanding and overly serious.
“You do too!” she insists. “And for the record, you’ve already been drinking fancy algae in your smoothie every morning. That’s why you’re so handsome.”
“Ah. So I have you to thank for that,” he says, finally cracking a smile and pulling her in for a kiss.
Everyone ooohs. Everyone but me. I’m too torn up over the line I’m walking with Luka.
The teasing continues, much to everyone’s delight.
“You’re lucky you have me to take care of you,” Tori says. “You know who else is lucky?” She puts her hands on Luka’s shoulders and gives him a kiss on the cheek. “I’m sure Brooklyn will be forcing you to drink your greens soon, too.”
Luka gives a look of mock horror. “In that case, I better double down on tempura and cheesecake while I still can.”
They’re all looking at me while they jest and have fun.
I force a smile, but my soul hurts too much to really join in.
They hope that I’m going to take care of Luka, that things will work out splendidly for us the way Stefan and Tori’s arranged marriage did.
But the difference is, they love each other for real.
They take care of each other for real. They’re happy just being together.
The meal turns into a pleasantly chaotic mess, everyone standing or walking around the room, taking a bite of this or that and then finding someone else to talk to. It’s nice seeing all the people in Luka’s life having such a genuinely good time. I just wish I felt their lightheartedness.
I push the food around on my plate, the burning in my throat preventing me from enjoying any of it. Water isn’t helping, nor is the champagne.
“Brooklyn!” a voice hisses.
When I look over my shoulder, I see Emzee triumphantly marching over with a stack of magazines under her arm.
“What are those?”
She grins. “Travel magazines, National Geographic, a Lonely Planet guide, and a few random others. These all have articles on romantic destinations, so you can start getting ideas for sightseeing on your honeymoon! I’ve been pulling this stash together as part of your wedding present, but I thought you might want to get started now. ”
My mouth falls open. “Oh, wow. Thank you, Em. That was so thoughtful.”
“I’m going to put these with Luka’s coat so you can take them on your way out. You guys are going to have the best time,” she gushes, before heading back to her table.
I take a deep breath. I can’t keep holding my secret inside.
Tomorrow is my wedding day and for all it’s worth, I want my marriage to start out right and not on a foundation of lies.
We might not be able to change the reasons we became engaged, but I can do my part to make it better from here on out.
Just not with the contract mocking me from the depths of my purse.
Luka takes his seat next to me and I study his profile as he laughs with the woman next to him. Slowly, I run my hand over his thigh beneath the table, a tingle going up my arm at his firm warmth. I know what I want to do. It’s time to come clean.
He turns to me, the smile fading from his lips when he sees my face. “What’s wrong?”
“I, um, I need to tell you some—”
“Brooklyn, you haven’t eaten a thing!” Stefan interrupts.
“I know you probably have pre-wedding jitters and all that, but you’re missing out.
” He leans over my shoulder and spears a piece of tempura shrimp with my fork, then brings it to my lips with an expectancy I can’t deny.
I eat it to appease him and he starts talking to Luka.
Before I know it, he’s feeding me another.
“Why am I feeding your bride instead of you?” Stefan teases his brother with an amused laugh. They banter back and forth for a while, and my future brother-in-law goes back to his spot to retrieve his drink before mingling with someone else.
I wipe my mouth with a napkin. “Wow. Stefan seems to be in a good mood. He usually seems more…serious.”
“True.” Luka leans closer toward me. “To be honest, I can’t remember the last time I saw my family this laid back, especially not about something as big as a wedding. They’re actually relaxed. Stefan’s been downright easygoing. I guess we’ve really been nailing the PR stuff.”
My stomach clenches and I clear my throat. “Yeah, that must be it. I’m glad.”
Luka glances at my full plate. “Are you nervous? Is that why you’re not eating?”
I’m not going to lie to him. It is nerves, and so much more. “Yes.”
His warm hand wraps over mine and he kisses me on the cheek so gently that I shiver. I quickly eat a prosciutto-wrapped scallop before I blurt everything out right here and now.
“What did you want to tell me?” he prods.
“Hmm?”
His brows knit together in concern. “Earlier, you said there was something you wanted to talk to me about.”
I look around to see if we can possibly leave for a few minutes without anyone stopping us. For the moment, all the guests are seated and talking, their attention anywhere but on Luka and me. It’s the perfect time to escape for a little bit. Which is necessary, because he may not take this well.
In fact, it might go over like a fucking bomb.
“Can we have a few minutes alone?” I ask, my heart in my throat.
“Hey-o!” a voice interrupts. “I haven’t had a chance to meet your smokin’ hot bride yet!”
Luka rises to greet the man rushing up behind us.
I recognize him as one of Luka’s groomsmen, someone he went through his MBA program with, but we haven’t been formally introduced.
Luka makes the introductions and small talk ensues.
Before I know it, the dinner plates are being cleared and dessert is brought around.
Everyone resumes their seats and the din of conversation hums loudly in my ears.
People I barely know stand to raise toasts to Luka and me, but it’s Mateo’s speech that has my eyes stinging. It’s brief but heartfelt, and when he says he wishes me and Luka an amazing journey together, I can’t help wishing the same. I should burn that contract from Elite Image.
Or should I just sign it and guarantee my success?
Fuck, why is this so hard? I know where my heart is…and it isn’t with Elite. But what if I’m making a huge mistake, letting my feelings for Luka get the better of me? My brain says this arrangement with him isn’t a sure thing. But betraying him feels wrong in every way.
By the time a selection of cakes and pastries are passed along with brandy and carafes of coffee, the noise has dimmed, and the guests are winding down.
True to his word earlier, Luka eats two huge pieces of cheesecake, then leans back in his chair and stretches his arms over his head. He looks satisfied and…happy.
“Brooklyn, look at me,” he says quietly. I glance at him and he’s holding a bite of dessert on his fork for me. “Consider it practice for tomorrow when I feed you cake.”
“When you smear her face in it, you mean?” someone across the table hollers.
I hold Luka’s gaze as I take the offered treat, and everyone cheers. We’re not going to get a moment alone. I don’t have any choice but to ride the rest of this evening out and put my conscience behind me.
“You better not even think of smearing it on my face.” I try to join in on the fun, but I’m two seconds away from losing my composure.
The papers in my purse whisper to me, reminding me that I can’t have true happiness unless I clear the air.
I want to. I’m trying! I need to get him alone for a couple of minutes and explain everything.
“Brooklyn, when you have a minute, can I show you something?”
It’s the wedding planner. Glad for the escape, I excuse myself and meet her in the lobby to go over a couple of last-minute details.
There’s been a small change to the color of the ribbon on the flowers.
The seating arrangement for the reception was altered slightly.
Did I want the ring bearer to carry the ring in his little tux pocket or on the silk pillow?
By the time I go back inside, the guests are leaving. Luka rushes over and kisses my forehead. Emzee and Tori come up behind me and loop their arms through mine.
“She’s ours now. Bye-bye, loser.” Emzee waves him off.
“See you tomorrow,” Luka calls to me. He looks back as if expecting me to reply. I don’t, because I can’t get anything out.
“Oh no, she already has stage fright!” Tori pats my hand. “Come on. The hotel room we booked has a fully stocked bar. We’ll get you through this.”
My future sisters-in-law whisk me off to the luxury hotel we’re staying in tonight and I know they’re going to take good care of me. They’ll have to, because I’m in no shape to do anything except drown in the guilt over not coming clean to Luka before I become his wife.