Chapter 15
Windflowers, St Aidan, Cornwall
Happy home cards and open minds
Wednesday
The way we’re constantly looking at the weather forecast on our phones it feels like Tia and I have turned into our mums, but we’re only trying to make the most of good days for our outdoor content.
The cloudy days have given me a chance to make a start on the beach hut, so once Tia has confirmed that my sample colours for the chairs are working, I buy the paint and head off with Angel and my paint brushes.
It’s obvious that it’s going to take several coats to make a decent job, but the dark cream paint is making an immediate contrast with the whiter hut walls, and I’m feeling happy about that.
I’m three chairs in when Angel gets up from where he’s lying on the deck.
He only does a single bark, so I carry on singing along to Captain Sensible’s ‘Happy Talk’.
By the time I notice Angel bound forward, the approaching figure is already coming up the steps and when I see who it is my gasp is so big I almost swallow my tongue.
‘Lando! Interrupting mid-song! Again!’
Lando leans forward to rub Angel’s ears but stays on the top step. ‘I thought he might have made more noise.’
I did too, but I’m not going to let Lando know that. ‘The amount of ice cream he ate with you last week bumped you straight to “friend for life” status.’
Lando frowns. ‘I saw you pass my cottage earlier, I hope you don’t mind me coming?’
‘You moved in?’
He tilts his head. ‘Three rooms, already furnished; it wasn’t that major.’
‘In that case, welcome to St Aidan!’
The last time Lando and I were at the beach hut together was the night I got pregnant with Nemmie, but I can’t revisit that now. I force myself to focus.
Now Lando’s here, I need to say what I have to. If I don’t do it now, I may lose my nerve.
‘If you’d like a seat pull one from the pile.’ The words will be out in a moment. The fall out might take longer.
Lando leans his shoulder against the verandah post. ‘I’m okay here.’
‘At least come onto the deck.’
He does as I ask, then he leans back and spreads his hands along the verandah rail. ‘It’s been a long time, Maevey.’
We both know what he’s talking about. ‘Ten years. Give or take a month or two.’
It’s the perfect build-up. About that night… I run the words through my head for the last time, but Lando gets in first.
‘I won’t stay long but I wanted to clear the air…’
I have no idea which air he’s talking about, but he carries on anyway.
‘I respect that during this time you have built a life, and I’d hate my arrival to disrupt that.
’ His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. ‘When I first heard you’d had a baby, I admit there was a heart-stopping moment.
’ He stops and shakes his head. ‘Then I did the sums, and it took approximately five seconds to work out how badly I’d messed up the night of the party when we slept together…
You must already have been pregnant then. ’
I’m too stunned to do anything but blink.
Lando raises an eyebrow. ‘However memorable that night was for me, I don’t come out of it very well.
I really hope what happened between us didn’t harm any other relationship or person you were involved with.
I’m seriously sorry that due to my own arrogance and in selfish pursuit of my own ends, I overlooked and misread your situation.
I know this has been unacknowledged for the last nine years, but my sense of shame is still very real.
Had we been in contact earlier, I would have apologised sooner. ’
I’m too shocked by what he’s said to form words. It’s also obvious that he has overlaid everything that happened with his own interpretation and is filled with remorse for all the wrong reasons.
He’s tapping his hand on the rail. ‘I’m sorry this apology has been so long in coming. Texting is fine for most things, but this had to be said face to face.’ He gives a shrug. ‘It’s probably best if we don’t revisit this again.’
‘What, never?’
‘Why would we? It’s ancient history for both of us.’ He reaches out and squeezes my arm. ‘That’s it. Thanks for hearing me out.’ His hands are wavering around my elbows, then he pushes them firmly into his pockets. ‘After what happened with the last hug, I’d better not risk another.’
He’s already down the steps and I watch him making his way along the waterline and try to take in what just happened.
Then it hits me what I’ve colluded with, and I run to the steps and shout.
‘Lando! Come back! She’s yours!’ I wave my arms and yell after him. ‘Lando, Nemmie’s yours! She’s yours…’ Then I hurl myself down the steps and run after him, still calling, with Angel lolloping along beside me.
Lando doesn’t turn around, and by the time I come to a breathless standstill a hundred yards along the sand, he’s disappeared behind the net lofts along the harbour’s edge.
I’m still murmuring ‘she’s yours, Lando’, but the wind whips away my words, and the seagulls wheel overhead, unbothered.