Chapter Twenty-Six
‘Do you think anyone would miss us if we don’t turn up for the quiz?’ Gage flopped on one of the shop’s easy chairs and his face fell into deep, tired creases.
Tamara could see one drawback to this new job was the need to be on his feet more than was ideal. Once the café opened and hopefully brought in more business, he should be able to afford to hire an assistant. She certainly couldn’t be in two places at the same time.
‘I suppose it was a good idea of Pixie’s to shift the quiz and have it a week earlier than usual.
No one would’ve wanted to do it on Boxing Day.
I’m sure we aren’t the only ones, though, who wouldn’t have minded a bit if it was cancelled this month,’ she said.
‘I suspect it’s all part of Pixie’s determination to keep busy and stop her dwelling on Christos’s shitty behaviour.
She’s far more shaken up than she’s willing to admit.
Betrayal takes a long time to get past. I know.
’ She shook her head. ‘I let it rule me far too long.’
Gage’s dark eyes locked with hers.
‘Not any longer though.’
‘Good.’ He tugged her over onto his lap. ‘Letting go of the hard stuff is . . . hard.’
His quirky smile melted her heart.
‘What do you think I should do about this?’ He pulled out his wallet and extracted a crumpled piece of paper.
Tamara recognised Becky’s neat handwriting. This was the first time he’d shown any interest in discussing whether or not to reach out to his father. The old adage about leading a horse to water couldn’t be truer.
‘It needs to be your decision, not mine.’
‘But if you were me, you’d contact him?’
‘How can I know? I’ve never been in that position. My dad was the loveliest man, who worshipped my mum and treated Tracy and me like princesses.’ She choked back a sob. ‘Losing him when Toby was little, and then my mum not long after, was the worst thing ever.’
‘I can’t begin to imagine.’ He looked stricken. ‘Family dynamics are a minefield for me.’
‘I totally get that. Even though it’s been a long time now, every year when Christmas comes around, I feel their absence like it just happened.
All the advertisers conjure up images of loving families gathered around the dinner table, smiling and laughing and opening presents together.
But is that the reality for most people?
’ A few steadying breaths kept her going.
‘That’s the main reason Pixie started the Spirit of Christmas meal and I willingly got involved.
’ Her smile re-emerged. ‘I know we haven’t talked about how we’ll spend Christmas, but I hope you’re good with us joining in?
There’s generally about thirty of us from all around the village.
We’re a mixed bunch of couples who don’t want to eat alone, families who can’t afford to make a proper Christmas dinner and lots of singles of course.
No one judges. No one asks why you’re there. Everyone is welcome.’
‘Sounds wonderful to me. It’ll remind me of being back in the marines, but hopefully with better food.’ Gage chuckled. ‘It never used to bother me, being on duty over the holidays, but a lot of the younger blokes and the family men found it hard. We made the best of it, though.’
‘Pixie likes to get a rough idea of numbers, so I’ll sign us up.’
‘What about Toby and Chloe?’
‘He’s already told me he’s working Christmas Eve night, but he and Chloe will join us on Christmas Day at the pub. On Boxing Day morning, they’re heading upcountry to see Chloe’s parents.’
She suddenly remembered what they’d been talking about.
‘We’ve got off track, haven’t we? Your dad.
The way I see it, the worst that could happen is that he’s not interested in getting back in contact.
You’ve lived without his presence all these years, so you’d survive.
But if he was pleased and you had the chance to talk through things, wouldn’t that help? ’
‘I suppose.’
‘How about I go up to the flat and make us a sandwich while you phone him?’ Tamara flashed an encouraging smile.
‘Cheese and pickle?’ It was a running joke that she hated even the sight and smell of the spicy brown chopped-up pickle mixture, and so he usually ended up making it himself.
‘Just this once. But if you chicken out of ringing, you’ll get peanut butter and honey instead.
’ Toby’s favourite sandwich combination as a boy had become hers too, but it made Gage gag.
‘Witch.’
She dodged his attempt to grab her and left him, all the while laughing like a drain.
* * *
Gage’s attempt to focus on the question sheet in front of him was a miserable failure, but so far no one seemed to have noticed his lack of participation.
His mind kept returning to his brief conversation on the phone with Wally Harris.
He’d last seen his father about twenty-five years ago, when he’d told Gage’s mum and his thirteen-year-old son that he’d be away on business for a few days. They’d never seen him again.
‘Well, I’ll be darned. Who would’ve thought it? Little Gage. How’d you track your old man down?’
The lack of any emotion other than mild surprise threw him. He answered his father’s questions almost robotically.
‘I thought I’d surprise your sister next week and pop down for Christmas. It’s been a while since I’ve seen the grandkids. It’ll be good to have a pint with you, meet your girlfriend and see this little place you’ve got.’
That’s when Gage exploded and totally lost it.
Wally’s casual attitude hurt far more than being told to sod off and not bother him again.
After telling his so-called father what he thought of him, Gage threw the phone across the shop in disgust, and it knocked several books off the top of Emily’s creative decoration.
Tamara must have heard the crashing sound and she rushed down to see if he was okay.
Her quiet disappointment when she discovered the truth pained him.
Not that she blamed him, or did she? Gage couldn’t be certain.
Very quietly she put the books back in place and told him his sandwich was ready.
‘Oi, Prof, wassup with you?’ Paul gave his elbow a sharp jab.
He didn’t miss Nathan’s sympathetic glance.
Melissa’s husband was a different man tonight and all smiles.
The couple were taking the train up to London tomorrow before catching the overnight flight to Nashville on Sunday to spend Christmas with the Rutherford family.
They planned to return in time to celebrate the new year.
‘None of us can answer the last question, but I’m pretty sure it’ll be a piece of cake for you.’ Paul grunted. ‘We’re neck and neck with the girls, so we need you to get your brain in gear and stop Mrs Know-it-all Taylor wiping the floor with us.’
‘Sorry, mate.’ Gage gulped down his beer and wiped the foam off his mouth with the back of his hand.
‘Come on, Prof, we’re running out of time.’
Pixie was standing by the bell, preparing to ring it as a signal to stop writing and swap question sheets with the group next to them.
He quickly scanned the question and couldn’t help smiling. ‘Per Mare, Per Terram.’ Gage whispered the answer to his friends and hurriedly wrote it down. The English version of the Royal Marines’ motto, ‘By Sea, By Land’, was more well-known, but the Latin version?
The laughingly called Bell of Doom rang three times. Gage’s spirits plummeted when he noticed Evelyn looking her usual serene self.
Nathan shifted into the vacant chair next to him. ‘So, what is up with you, mate?’
It’d be easy to pass it off as nothing more than tiredness from working non-stop, but that’d be a lie and a slap in the face for a man who hadn’t shied from sharing his own troubles. Morosely Gage repeated the tale.
‘You’ve every right to be mad. I spent my whole life trying to please my father. Waiting for him to throw a crumb of approval my way.’ Nathan rested his elbows on the table. ‘It never happened and I’ve had to learn to live with that.’
‘I realise no one’s life is perfect and it’s far healthier to make the best of what we’ve got and let the rest go.
Doesn’t make it easy.’ Gage drained the last of his beer.
‘The counsellor they made me see after my injury worked hard to steer me in that direction.’ He tapped his knee.
‘I was pretty down then.’ If he was determined to spill his guts, it needed to be a hundred per cent.
‘That’s sugar-coating it. I teetered on the edge for a while and couldn’t see the point in anything.
I saw a strong body and strong mind as being the same, so one was useless without the other.
’ A rough laugh dragged out of him. ‘I know — look at Stephen Hawking.’
‘What does Tamara think?’
‘She suggested I wait and see what happens when he comes for Christmas with Becky. If he doesn’t reach out, then I’ve got to accept I’ve done what I can and move on.’
‘Sensible woman.’ Nathan picked up their empty glasses. ‘Another?’
‘Cheers. And thanks. It’s good to see you and Melissa back on track.’
‘Your girlfriend has a lot to do with that, so anything I’ve done to help you is small repayment.’
This sort of conversation would’ve embarrassed him no end in the old days, but the stoic Englishman mould didn’t suit him as much now. Gage would never turn into a full-on New Age man, but loosening the straitjacket that kept his emotions in tight check could only be a good thing.
‘Hurry up and get the drinks in before Pixie announces the results,’ Gage said. ‘I’d hate to think the Back of Beyond Brains are going to beat us — again.’
* * *
Tamara revelled in the sight of her friends laughing, chattering and generally enjoying each other’s company.
The discussion that’d been ongoing between quiz rounds was still in flow as they struggled to decide what theme to settle on for next year’s book selections.
So far, Amy’s suggestion of the twelve books all being set in different countries had an edge over Josie’s idea of novels published in every decade from the beginning of the twentieth century.
Frankly, she wasn’t passionate either way.
The company and friendship meant far more.
Her gaze strayed to Gage and she studied the back of his head.
His black hair was longer and thicker these days, but she wouldn’t be able to enjoy it that way for much longer.
Yesterday he complained that relaxing into civilian life was one thing, but looking like a yeti — his words, not hers — was a step too far.
The floppy-haired Hugh Grant look was never going to be an option.
She couldn’t help worrying about Gage. He’d been far more deeply affected by his unsatisfactory conversation with Wally Harris than he wanted to admit and she wasn’t sure how to help him.
‘Get ready to mark the last answer sheet and find out this month’s champion,’ Pixie yelled.
‘I’m going to be so furious with myself when I hear the answer to that Latin one.’ Evelyn shook her head and frowned.
‘You can’t know everything, dear sister.’ Ophelia’s teasing earned a sharp look from Evelyn, before a wry smile took over and she made a joke about always being able to rely on family to put you in your place.
‘I’m some sorry my dad was worse than useless with poor Gage,’ Becky whispered. ‘He’s a thoughtless old bugger sometimes.’
‘You’ve spoken to him?’
‘Rang me, didn’t he? Thought I’d be sympathetic.’
‘I take it you weren’t?’
‘Not bloody likely.’ Becky bristled. She’d torn her father off a strip and told him he’d better try to make amends next week or he wouldn’t be welcome at her house again.
Tamara grimaced. It would tear Gage up if he felt responsible for driving a wedge between a family who’d rubbed along fine before his reappearance in their lives.
‘Don’t you worry, love. Dad will come around. Anything for a peaceful life is his motto.’ The mildly despairing remark sounded like a parent talking about a recalcitrant toddler. ‘He’s weak. No staying power. When things get tough, Dad throws in the towel, moves on and starts again.’
‘But you still love him.’
Her friend turned bright red.
‘I’m not criticising you. It’s completely understandable.’
Becky patted her hand. ‘I’m some glad Gage came to find me.’ Her eyes twinkled. ‘And met you while he was at it.’
‘Me too.’
‘Are you pair ever going to stop nattering?’ Laura shushed them.
‘You’re worse than Evelyn,’ Tamara groused.
Pixie started to read the last set of answers, but stopped when she reached the final question to do a mock drumroll on the bar. ‘I’ll ask Gage to tell us the answer because no one else got it right.’
Evelyn’s groan resonated around the pub, and there were a few smirks and satisfied mutters from their fellow contestants.
‘The bugger were in the marines, so the rest of us didn’t stand a chance,’ Vernon Bull complained.
Gage would be deeply embarrassed if Tamara had a go at the shopkeeper and ordered him to watch his words.
She would love to remind Vernon how much he’d given for his country with very little thanks.
But her hero would say, and quite correctly even if that irked her in the moment, that Vernon’s right to free speech was worth fighting for.
Pixie patiently explained how she got all the questions from a pub-quiz group online, so there had been no fixing and never would be. She wrapped up with the tart comment that they could take up any complaints with the new owners in January. ‘Put them out of their misery, Gage.’
‘Per Mare, Per Terram,’ he said firmly and proudly. ‘By Sea, By Land.’
‘Well done. That clinches the trophy for Proper Choughed tonight, so I think it’s only right you come up.’
A lump lodged in Tamara’s throat as he straightened his stance and walked over to the bar, his awkward gait barely visible over the few short steps. The usual round of applause, cheers and jeers continued for several minutes.
‘Time to go home?’ Gage’s deep voice by her shoulder surprised Tamara and she lifted her face for a kiss.
‘As long as you can let go of the trophy long enough to come to bed.’
Gage grinned and passed the trophy over to Paul with a flourish. ‘Take care of that, mate. Some of us have things to do and places to be.’
Tamara said a swift goodnight to her friends and gave Melissa an extra hug to wish her safe travels.
‘It’s time we started celebrating Christmas.’ His right arm snaked around her waist.
‘That’s the best idea you’ve had all week, Mr Bennet.’
‘I thought so too.’