11. Lorcan
LORCAN
Finn followed my line of sight and stiffened.
Rafe let a low whistle.
Rua only smiled wider, doe-eyed and adoring at me, like she’d been waiting all morning for me to look her way.
Breezy frowned. “What’s up with Rua?”
Rafe leaned back, arms crossed. “Yeah. She’s gone full stage five psycho.”
Breezy pointed a finger at me, accusing, “What the hell did you do?”
“Me?” I hissed. “Why is it automatically my fault?”
“Because you always break shite,” Rafe said, dead serious.
Breezy mock sniffed. “This is why we can’t have nice things.”
Only Finn didn’t join in the teasing. His gaze met mine for half a second, quiet and knowing.
I should have felt comforted that my best friend seemed to be able to read me without words. But the memory of Finn’s father in that mask in my drawing room came back to me. Was Finn’s father part of it? Was Finn?
I dragged a hand through my damp hair as the lecture started, but all I could see was Liath alone in that tower, waiting to hear from me about how last night went, worrying because I’d promised to go to her before lectures started and I hadn’t fucking shown up.
All I could feel was Rua’s stare crawling across my skin like spiders.
By the time there were only ten minutes left in class, she still hadn’t looked away once.
Not once.
Her gaze tracked every twitch of my fingers, every shift of my shoulders.
Fuck. If I was going to get away from here, my best chance was in between lectures when the halls were busy.
Finn’s knee nudged mine under the desk, a silent question. Are you okay? The pressure of his quiet loyalty nearly undid me. God, I wanted so badly to believe that I could trust him.
I leaned toward my friends. “Lads. I need help.”
Rafe sighed. “Mate, that’s what we’ve been trying to tell you for aaaaages.”
I rolled my eyes as Breezy fist-bumped Rafe. “Good one, lad. Good one.”
“Seriously, lads.” I leaned in. “I need to get out of here without Rua following me.”
They glanced over to where she was still staring at me.
Rafe turned back to me and rubbed his hands together. “So… we’re running interference?” He sounded delighted.
“Why didn’t you just say so?” Breezy said, “We could run a Split Sliotar feint.”
“Ardcolm dummy,” Rafe argued, slapping his notebook shut. “I’ll run center, Breezy right, Finn takes the left.”
I hissed. “I don’t give a shite what you do. Just keep her away from me.”
The bell rang.
Chairs screeched across the floor. Pages slapped shut. Bags zipped.
Rua stood immediately, her stare pinning me like a knife.
I rose from my seat slowly, trying to look normal, trying not to let her see the sprint coiled in my limbs.
The lads moved, jumping and climbing over the chairs to bypass the crowded aisles.
Rafe leaped directly into Rua’s path with the swagger of a man about to start a bar fight. “Aye, Rua! You missed your round at our last drinks. Breezy saw you nick off just before.”
Breezy swooped in from the other side. “Absolute gowl behavior, if you ask me. We need a word.”
Finn completed the wall, crossing his arms over his chest like a bodyguard.
Rua frowned. “Get out of my way.”
They boxed her in, shoulders broad, all talking at once about some imagined slight, footwork coordinated like they’d run this play all their lives.
I tucked my chin and slid past in the crowd pouring toward the door.
Rua’s furious glare cut after me over Rafe’s shoulder, but she couldn’t follow. Not without clawing through three boys twice her size.
I didn’t stop moving. Didn’t look back. I shoved through the double doors, heart hammering. A prickle crawled up my spine, cold and deliberate. Even without turning around, I knew her eyes were still on me, watching through the gap in the closing doors.
I had no time to lose.
Liath was waiting.
And Rua was getting too close.
At the landing outside Liath’s tower room, I paused and listened hard enough that my pulse started drowning out the silence.
There were no footsteps below, no creak of floorboards, and no sign that Rua had followed me.
Still, tension sat tight between my shoulders while I eased the door open carefully enough to avoid the hinges groaning.
My breath stalled halfway into my lungs.
Nuala sat on Liath’s bed.
Liath sat beside her close enough that their knees touched.
The sight landed like cold water down my spine.
Liath had gone behind my back.
For one ugly second, anger surged hot and instinctive before I pressed down any reaction.
I closed the tower door behind me with care before turning back toward the room, my hands settling calmly at my sides even while my pulse hammered unevenly beneath my ribs. “Nuala. I wasn’t expecting you.”
Nuala’s brows were pinched with concern. “Lorcan, this is crazy.” Her gaze moved quickly between me and Liath. “I’m glad you’re both okay.”
Fuck. Liath had told her everything. About my family. About my father. About me.
This realization twisted like a knife in my stomach. Keeping family things private was a rule that still sat bone-deep inside me even now.
And Liath had just exposed me to an outsider.
I didn’t answer Nuala. I stared at Liath, unblinking. “I need to talk to you. Alone.”
The silence afterward stretched just long enough for the tension to become visible in the room.
Nuala stood first, Liath standing a few moments later, their hands still clasped together.
“You know…” Nuala’s eyes moved between us as she spoke. “I’m here. For both of you.”
I gave her a small curt nod. Or at least I think I did.
Nuala pulled Liath into a tight hug and Liath clung back harder than I expected.
Something sharp moved through my chest watching it.
On her way out, Nuala stopped at the door beside me and looked directly at me. “I know you care about her. Be good to her.”
Then she left, the tower door softly clicking shut behind her.
Silence settled over the room.
Neither Liath nor I moved.
The cold formal mask I’d worn for Nuala stayed in place for another second before it finally cracked.
What surfaced underneath it wasn’t rage. Rage would have been easier. Instead, disappointment, fear, and exhaustion settled heavily through me all at once.
“You went behind my back,” I said.
Liath’s expression hardened instantly as she turned to face me square on. “I didn’t agree to be hidden from my own friends. You don’t get to make those decisions for me.”
“Decisions for you?” My voice stayed low but something colder pushed underneath it now. “Liath. I am trying to keep you alive.”
“By isolating me?” She folded her arms tightly across herself. “By cutting me off from everyone?” Her voice cracked slightly before hardening again. “I’ll go mad in this tower alone.”
The image struck hard enough that my chest tightened painfully around it.
My ma pacing barefoot across her tower room while rain battered the windows. Her nails clawing at the locked door, screaming to be let out after Alistair locked her in there “for her protection.”
Me curled silently outside the door with my knees pulled to my chest, crying hard enough my throat burned but too frightened to make a sound loud enough for anyone to hear.
Nausea rolled heavily through my stomach. I was already turning into him.
Fuck. I shoved the thought aside. I needed to focus on damage control.
“What did you tell her?” I asked Liath.
“Only what she needed to know.” Liath held my stare. “That I’m alive. That Rua and I are twins. That I’m in danger and no one can know I’m here.” A small pause followed before she added more quietly, “I didn’t tell her anything else.”
It wasn’t the full breach I had feared, but it was still enough to make my chest tighten. A smaller breach was still a breach.
“What if Nuala tells Finn?” I snapped, my voice coming out louder than I wanted it to.
“She won’t,” Liath said. “I asked her not to tell anyone.”
“And if she does?” I stepped closer, hands threatening to tighten into fists. “Without meaning to. A word over breakfast. A slip across the pillow.”
Liath scrunched up her face. “Finn would never—”
“Finn’s father was at Alistair’s drinks.”
Liath went completely still while the silence snapped tight between us. “What?”
“I recognized him under his mask…” My jaw tightened painfully.
The images flashed behind my eyes. Girls draped across men’s laps. My father working the room. Men I’d known my whole life treating women like livestock.
Finn’s father standing among them.
“I don’t know whether he’s part of it. Or even Finn.” The admission scraped painfully through my throat. “But I can’t rule it out.”
Liath stared at me. “Finn is your best friend.”
“I know.” The words came out rougher than I intended.
“You can’t suspect everyone, Lorcan.” Her expression tightened. “You can’t live like that.”
“I have to. Until I know.”
I had to lie to my best friend because I didn’t know which side he was on, and I couldn’t ask because asking would tell him I was no longer on Alistair’s side.
Because the alternative was trusting the wrong person once.
And Liath dying for it.
Silence stretched heavily between us, feeling like a crack yawing open under our feet, the argument remaining between us unfinished and breathing.
“Rua is back at Lasair Manor,” I said.
“W-what?” Her voice stumbled unevenly. “Then Alistair—”
“She didn’t tell Alistair about us,” I said. “But I don’t know how long she’s going to hold it back. She knows I’m hiding you somewhere.” Fear curled around my lungs like ivy, choking me, suffocating me. “She is determined to find you. To hand you over to daddy.”
The color drained from Liath’s skin.
I should stop now. Saying more would only hurt her. But I had to make her see just how dangerous this was.
My throat tightened painfully. “And when she does, my father is not going to make the same mistake twice. He is going to kill you properly.”
Liath sat down hard on the bed, her focus distant.
God, I could only begin to imagine how this was hurting her.
Her sister, the twin she only just discovered was alive, the girl whom she’d risked everything for to free… was now hunting her.
I crossed toward the bed slowly, then sat beside her. I sat close enough to touch her without actually doing it, even though every part of me wanted to take her hand.
“She’s following me everywhere.” I rubbed at the back of my neck, stiff from a restless night. “The manor. Ravenwood. I barely managed to slip out from under her nose.” My mouth pulled tight. “She won’t let that happen again.”
Liath stared down at her hands. “You can’t come back here anymore.”
The words hollowed out something inside me.
But I nodded anyway.
Tonight was our last night together until we figured out a way to end it.
Something inside me finally cracked under the weight of it.
I pulled her into my lap, her thighs warm around my hips, and crushed my mouth to hers.
Liath kissed me back with enough sadness underneath it to make my chest ache. Her arms wrapped around my back while mine locked tightly around her waist, holding her hard enough that I could feel her heartbeat against my chest.
She smelled like black violets and warm skin.
The kiss deepened. Our hands started pulling at clothes, fumbling through buttons, fabric, and bare skin.
The unfinished argument stayed in the room, but it was shed along with our clothes, at least for now.
Liath lowered herself slowly onto me while we groaned into each other’s mouths.
She lifted her hips up and down on me, while I buried my face against her hair and clung to her like I could somehow stop time from moving forward if I held tightly enough.
Tomorrow, I would walk into my father’s study and ask to be inducted into the Sons.
Tomorrow, I would become something darker in order to survive inside his world.
And I prayed that when this was over, she would still want the monster who crawled back out.