Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
CHASTITY
“ T his is madness.”
I might as well have been shouting into the void. Not one of the trio of women rearranging and making space in Matteo’s closet even bothered to look my way.
They’d been pleasant enough when I’d opened the bedroom door a few minutes ago. They were even kind enough not to cast any judgmental looks my way when I’d been forced to greet them wrapped like a mummy in a bedsheet—my only option when their knocks had startled me awake and I’d discovered that my habit had mysteriously disappeared from the corner of the room.
I’d tried to tell them there had been some mistake as they strode in, pushing rolling racks filled with designer-label clothes, but they were insistent.
“There’s no mistake, miss,” one had said. “Mr. D’Angelo arranged for all of this to be brought here this afternoon.”
Afternoon?
I’d spun around the room, searching for a clock amongst the erotic artwork and tangled bedclothes. I finally found one on the nightstand.
Sure enough, it read 1:27 p.m.
I’d never slept so late in my life.
Then again, I’d never gotten drunk at a sex club, been brought home by my father’s nemesis, and passed out in his bed after he’d set both my body and soul on fire either.
“But I don’t want these,” I’d argued as they paraded the fashionable clothes past me and into the closet, rack after rack of sensual silks and low-cut necklines. “Take them all back.”
“We can’t do that,” the worker had answered with a laugh.
“Why not?”
“Because, like I said, Mr. D’Angelo was the one who made the order. Only he can send anything back.”
After that, they stopped listening to me. It didn’t matter how much I pleaded or argued. They simply ignored every word as they went about loading the new wardrobe into Matteo’s closet.
“It’s no use,” a compassionate voice sounded from behind.
A woman’s voice.
I turned around to find a lovely woman with reddish brown hair leaning against the open bedroom door, giving me an understanding smile.
“Gabriel did a similar thing with me,” she said. “It didn’t matter how many times I told him I didn’t need them. I’m guessing it’s the only way the D’Angelo brothers know how to make a woman feel welcome.”
Gabriel ?
That meant she must be…
“You’re Gabriel’s wife?” I asked, trying—and failing—to keep the surprise out of my voice.
Though in my defense, it was almost impossible not to show the shock. The woman standing in front of me was beautiful, sure, but I could also tell at a glance that she was sensible, confident, and strong-willed. Definitely not the kind of woman I would have imagined a tough guy like Gabriel D’Angelo choosing for a bride.
Especially not with all the obvious intelligence I saw shining in her green eyes as she smiled.
“Sorry, I should have introduced myself.” She stepped into the room, extending her hand. “I’m Olivia. Liv to my friends.”
If Liv was scandalized to find me dressed in a sheet, she had the grace not to let it show on her face.
“I’m Chastity,” I said, taking her hand before realizing my mistake. “Or…Theresa. Sister Theresa.”
What was happening to me? I didn’t even know who I was anymore. I must have sounded like a madwoman.
To her credit, Liv’s smile only grew.
“It’s okay,” she said. “Letizia told Gabriel about your arrival this morning, and then I heard the guys arguing when Matteo went downstairs. I’m not sure they realize how the acoustics work in this house. The sound from the kitchen travels right up to the second-floor office.”
My face turned cold as I felt the blood rushing from my face.
“They were fighting about me ?” I asked, horrified.
“Oh, don’t worry,” Liv said, waving off my concerns with a flip of her hand. “It didn’t last long. No arguments between the brothers ever do. You’ll never meet anyone more in synch than them, Especially the twins.”
“That must mean Gabriel doesn’t want me here,” I ventured a guess.
I couldn’t blame him. I didn’t even fully understand why I was staying. Especially not now that I was sober and didn’t have the champagne to blame for all my bad decisions.
“Not at first,” Liv admitted with a shrug. “But he came around. Matteo can be very persuasive.”
She didn’t need to tell me. Thanks to his persuasiveness, I was standing in the burned-down ruins of my former life.
“He can also be a fool,” I said, turning my attention back to the work happening in the closet. “What was he thinking? I can’t wear any of this. Even if I liked these kinds of clothes, it’s far too much.”
Liv laughed, a bright sound that lifted my spirits. “I said something similar. I used to be all about the discount rack, but now look at me.” She gestured to her outfit, a stylish asymmetric jumpsuit.
“The style suits you,” I said honestly. “But the rules of my order say I’m supposed to dress modestly…not in whatever that is.”
I pointed toward the scandalously short red dress that one of the women was transferring from the rack.
“Please don’t take this the wrong way,” Liv said with a nonjudgemental smile as she looked me up and down. “But I’m pretty sure your Mother Superior wouldn’t approve of this look either.”
Even though I know she didn’t mean to chastise me, Liv’s words hit me with the force of a speeding freight train. Now that I was sober, there was no hiding from what I’d done. Shame crashed straight into me with more force than a speeding truck. I dipped my head down as hot tears welled up in my eyes.
“I know,” I admitted honestly. “I’ve messed up so badly, I don’t think I could ever be forgiven.”
I was shocked when, instead of agreeing with me, Liv’s arm instantly wrapped around my shoulder, and she started apologizing to me.
“Oh, Chastity. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way at all,” she said, gently guiding me away from the open closet and back toward the bed. Once there, we both sat down on the edge. “Besides, what the hell do you need to be forgiven for? You’ve done nothing wrong.”
Was she kidding? Of course, I had. Everything I’d done since I’d looked up to see Matteo standing in front of me had been a mistake.
“I…I…”
Oh God, I couldn’t even bring myself to say it aloud.
Liv had no such trouble, though.
“You slept with Matteo,” she said bluntly. “That’s hardly a crime.”
Maybe not. “But it is a sin.”
I glanced up just in time to see Liv roll her eyes. “What’s the bigger sin—one night of pleasure or wasting your whole life just to make your father happy?”
But it wasn’t just one night . “Matteo wants me to stay with him for two weeks.”
“Is that what you want?” Liv asked.
I’d had hours to think about the question, and I still didn’t have an answer. Not a good one, at least.
“Maybe. Probably. I’m not sure.”
“I get it.” She rubbed her hand compassionately up and down my arm as she let out a long breath. “I wasn’t sure what I wanted when I first got together with Gabriel either. There’s something about these D’Angelos that makes it hard to think straight. Especially when they start taking their clothes off.”
Truer words had never been spoken.
“So how am I supposed to know what’s right?” I asked. “How did you figure it out?”
She gave another laugh, one that helped cut through all the tension in the room.
“I don’t think I ever figured anything out,” she said. “Any decisions I made about Gabriel didn’t have a damn thing to do with my head. They were all made with my heart.”
“But that’s because you love him,” I said, stating the obvious. There was no other reason an intelligent, kindhearted woman like Liv would be with Gabriel D’Angelo. “Whatever is going on between Matteo and I isn’t like that. There’s no spiritual connection. It’s purely physical.”
Liv arched a brow. “Are you sure about that?”
“Of course.” What else could it be?
“You might not say that if you heard how he was talking about you to his brother this morning,” she said. “I’ve heard Matteo talk about plenty of women he’d only felt a physical attraction to, and trust me, he didn’t sound anywhere near as passionate about them as he did about you.”
Really?
Still, I shook my head. There had to be another reason.
“He’s probably just realizing the consequences of our actions,” I said. “My father has to be on the warpath.”
Liv shot me a look that wordlessly conveyed that wasn’t it. “The D’Angelo brothers aren’t scared of anyone. Not other mob bosses. Not overprotective fathers. Not even God.”
“What are you saying?”
“Just that Matteo never loses his temper. Especially not with Gabriel,” she said. “But this morning he did.”
Over me?
That didn’t make sense. I couldn’t be anything more than a fling to him. An amusing distraction. A break from his usual fare. Nothing more.
But amusing distractions didn’t usually get a whole new wardrobe in the front of his closet.
Or maybe they did.
What did I know? I couldn’t pretend to have any idea how these kinds of casual relationships worked. Up until a few hours ago, I’d never even experienced an orgasm.
What I really needed was the help of someone who had been down this path before. I looked over at Liv and found her smiling down at me with a kind expression in her eyes.
“So you think I should stay?” I asked.
“If that’s what you want,” Liv answered.
I closed my eyes and shook my head, uncertain I could handle another conversation about wants . Life had been so much easier when someone else made all my decisions.
But it had also been paler and flatter. I might not have made any mistakes, but I’d also felt less alive. The pain was less, but so was the joy.
So was everything.
Maybe I was asking the wrong questions.
“Matteo promised that if, at the end of two weeks, I still want to take my vows and become a nun, he’d take me to the convent himself,” I said to Liv. “Can I trust him?”
“I’ve never known him to break a promise,” she answered. “If Matteo said it, then you can believe it.”
Her confirmation felt like a giant weight being lifted off my shoulders. So many times, I’d been told one thing—like my father saying I could tell him anything —only to have it end up biting me in the ass.
“And do you think God will forgive me for this two-week experiment?”
Liv’s smile only grew.
“Oh, I’m not religious, so I’m definitely not the person to ask,” she said with a laugh. “But if you want my personal opinion, I can’t imagine any god would make so many of us with a burning need for love and then get angry at us for trying to find it.”
For a few long seconds, I sat wordlessly on the edge of the bed, my lips slightly parted, my eyes blinking.
Liv wasn’t just kind and lovely. She was also smart as hell.
Gabriel D’Angelo was a lucky man.
“We’re all finished, miss,” one of the women said, coming out of the closet with an empty rolling rack behind her. “Your new wardrobe is ready for you.”
“Thank you,” I said weakly as the three women made a train out the door and disappeared into the hallway.
Once they were gone, Liv tapped her hand against my leg.
“Come on. We might as well go take a look,” she said. “I can help you pick out an outfit for tonight.”
My eyes widened. “Why do I need one? Did Matteo say he was taking me somewhere?”
“No,” she said, already rising up from the edge of the bed. “But Matteo didn’t buy all these clothes just to have them hang in a closet. Besides, it’s Saturday night, and he never stays home on a Saturday night.”
“Not even when there’s a rival mob boss gunning for his head?” I asked skeptically.
But Liv only laughed. “Oh, sweetie. Especially not then.”