Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
S truggling to get his body under control, Antonio ran his hands down his face. It was safe to say he and Scarlett’s attraction to one another was intensifying. That wasn’t good. Well, it was good in one sense. When they finally got together, they were going to burn up the sheets.
What wasn’t good was how he had promised himself to take things slow. Something might have shifted for the good between them since arriving in Miami, but she’d been holding back for the last few months. Why? He wasn’t sure, but he planned to find out before they went any further.
Antonio left his bedroom still thinking about Scarlett. He wouldn’t turn down sex with her, but he wanted more. Antonio wanted all of her. Not just her body. If that was all she’d be willing to give, he’d have to move on.
But it would be damn hard to move on from her, especially after the little taste he’d had. Had they not been interrupted, he had no doubt that he would’ve taken her right up against the door. They would’ve both enjoyed it, but that wasn’t what he wanted for their first time. When they eventually got together, he wanted it to be a beautiful night to remember. Not just some quick fun.
“Uncle Tony!” Bella yelled just as he was walking past her bedroom. “I like my room.”
“I’m glad, Baby Doll.” Antonio strolled inside and sat on the bed next to her. She had her iPad in her hand, and three stuffed animals surrounding her.
“Where’s your mom?”
“She told me to stay right here until she changed clothes. She doesn’t want me to get your house dirty.”
Antonio chuckled. “Well, I’m not worried about that, but how about you and I go and make lunch?”
“Yes!” She grabbed the stuffed elephant that she’d been sleeping with earlier and leaped off the bed. “I want to learn how to cook like Jayden. He said he would teach me, but I want you to teach me.”
Antonio shook his head. That nephew of his was eight going on thirty and thought he could do anything. Sure, he could make a few dishes, and he had some baking skills, but he still had a lot to learn.
Antonio stood and headed to the door. “I think I can handle teaching you a few things in the kitchen. How about we start with grilled cheese sandwiches?”
“Yes. I like those,” she said and slipped her hand into his.
“What would you like to go with them?”
“Potato chips and Twizzlers.”
Antonio laughed. “I was thinking more like a salad or some other vegetables. We’ll see what’s in the refrigerator.”
As they made their way through the house, he remembered she was seeing it for the first time. He gave her the ten-cent tour along the way.
“You live in two houses?”
“I only live here some of the time. Mainly when I need a vacation.”
“Oh. Can I come with you every time you need a vacation?”
God, he loved this kid.
“We’ll see.” Was all he said, but if he had his way, Scarlett and Bella would be on every vacation he took.
When they reached the kitchen, Antonio checked the refrigerator and cabinets. He had a management company take care of the place, but a friend of the family helped him with the extras for this trip. That included decorating Bella’s room and stocking the kitchen. He planned to make some of his specialties for his girls.
My girls.
That’s what they had become to him, and he was going to do his best to make it a permanent situation.
* * *
Later that night, after tucking her daughter in, Scarlett huffed out a breath as she closed Bella’s bedroom door. The older her child got, the more questions she had, and they were getting harder to answer.
Does Nana Cynthia have any kids? Does she have kids my age? I never saw any.
Why does my great-grandmother want to talk to you? Don’t you talk to her on the phone all the time?
Why do I have to go to Nana Cynthia’s house with you? I want to stay here with Uncle Tony.
Can we live in Uncle Tony’s house forever?
There was one question Bella had never asked, but Scarlett knew it was coming one day. Why is my daddy in heaven?
Leaning against the wall outside of the bedroom, Scarlett released a long sigh. It was only a matter of time before Bella asked more questions about her dad.
When she’d started school and saw other children with fathers, she’d wanted to know why she didn’t have one. Scarlett hadn’t had a clue on how much to tell her but decided to give her the basics. He had gone to heaven before she was born.
Scarlett wasn’t ready to share more.
Bella knew Ezra’s name and that Cynthia was her father’s grandmother. Surprisingly, she hadn’t asked about Ezra’s mother or father. She also hadn’t asked how he died. All she knew was that she didn’t have a daddy because he was in heaven.
She wasn’t sure how Bella would handle knowing he’d died in a car crash. No, that would probably scare her baby, and the last thing Scarlett needed was for Bella to be afraid to ride in cars.
“You okay?”
Scarlett glanced up to find Antonio standing in the hallway. She pushed away from the wall and headed toward him.
“I’m fine. It’s just been a long day, and Bella decided she wanted to ask me fifty-million questions before falling asleep.”
Antonio draped his arm around her shoulder and pressed a kiss against her temple as he guided her to the kitchen. After their make-out session in the bedroom earlier, he had put a little distance between them. Nothing uncomfortable, but it had been noticeable that he’d made Bella the center of attention.
“How about a glass of wine? I have chardonnay and pinot noir, unless you want something a little stronger,” he said and released her when they reached the kitchen island.
“You are too good to me,” Scarlett said, weariness settling into her body. “Red would be great.”
Antonio had catered to her and Bella’s every need since they’d arrived. After lunch, they went on an amazing boat tour and then played video games at Dave and Buster’s. Scarlett enjoyed bowling and arcade games as much as the next person, but after the first couple of hours at the arcade, she’d had enough. Thank goodness Antonio had enough energy to keep Bella entertained the whole time. It was nice having someone to tag-team with parenting for the day.
“How about we go out back?” Antonio suggested, holding their drinks. “We can keep the doors open in case Bella wakes up.”
“Okay.” She followed him outside and over to the loungers tucked in the corner of the patio.
It was a perfect night at seventy-two degrees with a light breeze. The gurgling waterfall added to the peaceful sounds of the evening, and Scarlett released an exhausted sigh when she sat down.
“It’s wonderful out here.”
“It’s one of my favorite spots. When I visit, I do my best thinking here,” Antonio said, taking a long drag on his beer. “I should come here more often.”
“Why don’t you?”
It was dark out with only the light from the kitchen spilling into the yard, and a few spotlights strategically placed near the fence. Scarlett could only see a silhouette of his features, but she saw him shrug.
“Work and just not taking time off. I love coming here, but not too much by myself. You and Bella help give the space… life. I’ve enjoyed you two today.”
“The feeling is mutual. Oh, and just a heads-up, Bella will probably ask you to bring her here every weekend.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, she told me she loves it here. I hope to bring you both back here sometime.”
“That would be nice,” Scarlett said quietly.
“Before we came to Miami,” Antonio started, his voice barely loud enough for her to hear, “I sensed you keeping distance between us. What was that all about?”
Scarlett stared out at the pool, debating on how to respond. She had promised herself she’d go with the flow this weekend, and that included not holding back on her feelings for Antonio.
“Fear,” she said, matching his voice level. “I’m afraid. Or at least I was afraid of us getting too close.”
A long silence fell between them. She had learned earlier in the week that Antonio liked to mull over what’s said before responding, but she kept going.
“I’ve dated a little off and on over the years. But it’s been a long time since I’ve been in a relationship.”
“I’m not going to hurt you Scarlett,” he said. “I would never do anything to hurt you. I hope you know that.”
She stared into her glass of wine. “I know, but I’m more afraid of hurting you.”
“Why do you think you’ll hurt me?”
How could she explain? If she told him that she was afraid that she wasn’t able to fall in love, would he think her weird? Or would he even take her seriously?
It’s Antonio. Of course he’ll take you seriously .
“I think I’m incapable of falling in love.”
Gathering her courage, Scarlett told him about her relationship with Todd and how he had assumed they’d marry after high school. She adored him and told him that, but he wanted more. At the end of her freshman year of college, he’d given her an ultimatum. Marry him or they were over. She said no, and that had been the last time she’d seen him. He changed colleges.
But it was her relationship with Ezra which had changed her life forever. They had met when she had spent spring break in Miami during her junior year of college. The two of them had hit it off immediately and managed to sustain a long-distance relationship for almost two years.
After graduation, she moved to Miami to be with him. Those years they shared had been fun and exciting. She had started her modeling career, and Ezra was working at his grandfather’s investment firm while attending grad school. Their lives were busy, but they always found time for each other.
“We lived together, and everything was great. Perfect actually. Next to Mahogany, he’d been my best friend, and I loved him.”
“But?” Antonio prompted when she stopped talking.
“But he asked me to marry him, and I said no. Then hours later he was dead,” Scarlett choked out.
“Ahh, baby,” Antonio murmured, and before Scarlett realized he had moved, he joined her on the lounger.
He was a big guy, but he managed to squeeze in next to her and pulled her into his arms. “God, that had to be awful, but I hope you know it wasn’t your fault.”
Scarlett wiped frantically at her eyes. “I know, but still it was awful, traumatic even. At first it didn’t seem real, and I didn’t want that to be my last memory of him. He wouldn’t have left the apartment had I not turned down his proposal. I knew how much he loved me. He told me all the time, and he showed me in everything he did. I really did love him.”
“Then why did you say no?”
“Because I wasn’t in love with him. I was caught totally off guard by his proposal. Yes, I cared about him, but we were so young and just starting in our careers. Even if we got along great and enjoyed each other’s company, we weren’t nearly ready for marriage.
“Besides that, I didn’t love him enough for the type of commitment a marriage requires. I couldn’t marry him, and it broke his heart. After our conversation, he left the apartment because he said he needed air. Then he never came back.”
“Damn,” Antonio said under his breath and held her tighter.
“I still feel awful that I hurt someone who I cared deeply for, and I never got the chance to say, I’m sorry .”
Antonio cradled her in his arms for what seemed like hours, and for the first time in a long time, Scarlett felt safe and cherished. It was as if a weight had lifted from her shoulders, and the pain that usually came with discussing Ezra didn’t feel as crippling.
“After that, I found out I was pregnant, and I haven’t been in a serious relationship since then.”
“Has that been by choice?”
Scarlett had to think about it for a minute. “Yes. I’m not able to fall in love. And I can’t risk you falling in love with me. I won’t be able to return your feelings. At least not in the way you deserve. I’m not trying to make it seem like I’m all that because I know I’m not. But if I couldn’t fall in love with a man who treated me like the most important person in his world, then I don’t think it’s possible.”
“How do you know you weren’t in love with him?” Antonio asked after a long hesitation.
“I just knew. I loved every minute we were together, but something was missing. My parents were my role models. My mother once told Mahogany and me that her heart always felt like it would beat out of her chest when my dad walked into a room. Tony, you should’ve seen them together. When you saw one, you saw the other, and they even completed each other’s sentences sometimes. This might sound crazy, but I could feel their love for each other. If that makes any kind of sense.”
“It does. My grandparents have been like that for all my life, and they’ve been married sixty years. Now I see the same type of love with my dad and stepmother. So yeah, I know what you mean.”
“Well, I didn’t feel that with Ezra. Even though I cared about him, I feel awful that I couldn’t love him like he deserved.”
Scarlett snuggled against Antonio and let his fresh scent and strong arms ground her. Peace settled over her and she closed her eyes, allowing the comfort he provided and the sound of the gurgling waterfall to relax her.
It felt good to get that off her chest, but a hint of fear lingered. She prayed she would never cause Antonio the pain that she had caused Ezra. She would never forgive herself if that happened again.
“Scarlett, not to sound insensitive, but I don’t think you should be afraid to give our relationship a try. Because maybe Ezra just wasn’t your person.”