Chapter 12 #2
“You used to like me too,” Bellamy whispered. She leaned back fucking pouting and refused to look at Vesper. She recovered quickly, snapping, “You only like her because she’s easy. Cedar’s just a whore you don’t have to pay.”
Vesper bit her tongue, a snarky reply right on the tip of it.
Instead, she softened, her grip loosened, resting her hands on Bellamy’s hip instead of trying to shove her off.
She hated this stupid fucking guilt that gnawed at her now.
She’d known Bellamy was jealous of Cedar. It was shitty of her to say that.
“Bel…” Vesper said quietly. She didn’t really know where she wanted to go with that. An apology maybe? Bellamy snapped her gaze up to meet Vesper, her eyes hardened.
“No. Fuck you,” Bellamy hissed, shoving Vesper’s hands away. She stood abruptly and stomped back to the other side of the trolley, throwing herself down dramatically on the bench, her posture tense as she stared out the small window.
Vesper watched her, but Bellamy didn’t turn back. Guilt gnawed through her stomach. She tried to be pissed about it, tried to ignore it. Bellamy didn’t have the right to make her feel bad about this. If anything, she should feel relieved that Bel was leaving her alone.
Their morning had been almost nice up until then. Sure, Bellamy had tried to make Vesper lose their bet immediately, but she couldn’t honestly say she was surprised by that. It was pretty fucked up that Bellamy was trying to make Vesper feel like the asshole now, though.
Fuck her. Vesper shifted in her seat, tearing her gaze away. Bellamy didn’t deserve a fucking apology, she didn’t deserve Vesper being nice, and she absolutely did not deserve Vesper’s guilt. She should’ve just said what she wanted so Bellamy would feel shitty instead.
She shifted again. One glance told her that Bel was feeling shitty—the tension in her body was still present.
And Vesper hadn’t even done anything. Not really.
She huffed, and looked back at her book.
Fuck this stupid fucking churning in her gut that told her to apologize.
It wasn’t right. She shouldn’t feel bad for making Bellamy upset when Bellamy was the one being a brat, pushing her.
Vesper was also mad at herself for letting Bellamy still hold this power over her.
Bellamy ruined everything. Their chance to be happy, to get out of this shit hole, their entire relationship.
Sabotaged on a whim. Bellamy fucked up their whole lives and pretty much every assignment since that.
Bellamy was the reason Vesper had to work twice as hard as she should.
They hated each other. There was no need for this useless guilt.
No need for Bellamy to be all pissy just because Vesper chose to fuck Cedar over staying in her own apartment while Bellamy was fucking useless.
Because she knew that was what this was all about.
Bellamy was jealous. And a jealous Bellamy was a bitch to handle.
She huffed again and readjusted, fighting the temptation to slam her book down and yell at Bellamy for stealing her own fucking sense and taking over her thoughts.
“I can hear you working yourself into a rage over there,” Bellamy snapped. Well, at least she wasn’t still stewing in whatever pity party she’d started that made Vesper’s emotions go haywire.
She could work with that, resist the need to placate this beast of guilt growing inside her—as long as Bellamy continued to be a bitch. It wouldn’t be hard. Vesper could say something rude and they’d be on even footing again.
Even if Bel was right and she had been working herself into a rage, it wouldn't be any different than their usual interactions. She turned to snap at Bellamy, expecting that Bel had been watching her, but instead she stared at the back of Bellamy’s head.
Bellamy was rigid, the one hand Vesper could see shook, her fist clenched, and she could have sworn there was something wet glistening on it. As if Bel had just wiped off a tear. Fuck.
Vesper swallowed, putting her book aside. “Bel… you know I don’t actually care about Cedar, right?” she whispered. Vesper didn’t take her eyes off Bellamy. She watched as Bellamy’s shoulders slumped, and some of the tension eased out of her.
“Good. You shouldn’t.” Bellamy sniffed, but her voice was prim and exactly as stuck up as Vesper knew it would be, and it grated on every single one of the nerves she was trying to control.
Vesper rolled her eyes. “Whatever,” she murmured. She turned her attention away and picked her book back up, ignoring Bellamy’s sniffle and shuffling. Maybe she’d be able to focus on her book now that Bellamy’s shit mood seemed to be over.
Bellamy moved again, and before Vesper could react, her book was ripped from her hands and thrown carelessly onto the floor. Then, Bellamy was on her lap, clutching her shoulders. She pushed Vesper back into the seat before smashing their lips together.
Vesper was stunned motionless. Bellamy knew she wasn’t allowed to touch her like this, let alone kiss her. She knew that. Bellamy hadn’t been this bold in years.
Vesper knew letting her win so recently was a fucking mistake.
Bellamy slid her fingers through Vesper’s hair, her grip tightening, and she swiped her tongue across Vesper’s bottom lip.
Their kiss wasn’t sweet or caring—not that Vesper thought it would be.
It was vicious and claiming, as though Bellamy thought she could erase every trace of Cedar from Vesper’s mouth.
It took Vesper too long to overcome her shock. Bellamy took too much. She finally managed to turn her head, breaking the kiss.
“Bel,” she gasped, trying to push her off.
“What—” She wasn’t given time to finish her question.
The second Bellamy registered they’d broken apart, she sat back and slapped Vesper across the face.
She rubbed her stinging cheek, staring gobsmacked at Bellamy, who looked equally surprised by her actions.
“What the fuck was that?” she yelled at Bellamy. She shoved her off, not doing a thing to stop her from tumbling to the floor. “What is wrong with you?”
“I—” Bellamy stared back, wide eyed. She cleared her throat and stood up, smoothing over her skirt and she took a shaky breath. “You deserved it.”
Vesper scoffed. “Which part?” Bellamy raised her hand, looking like she might try to hit her again, but Vesper reached out and snatched her wrist. “Why don’t you go back to your side and cool off before I do something you’ll regret.”
Bellamy bit her lip. “You gonna punish me?” She batted her eyelashes and looked down at Vesper like she wanted to eat her. Vesper was going to get fucking whiplash from Bel’s mood shifts.
She shook her head. “I’m not doing this with you. Go sit down, Bellamy,” Vesper ordered, her voice stern and unwavering. She released Bellamy’s arm and sat back in her seat, watching Bellamy intently. Vesper was absolutely not dealing with this shit.
Bellamy sucked in a sharp breath and Vesper picked up her book, not looking away until Bellamy stalked back over to her side of the trolley and flopped down on the bench. Good girl.