Chapter 15 #2
There had only been two so far, but they had proved to be far more popular than Isla had ever anticipated, with lots of parents asking when the next sessions were and if they would be carried forward into the new year.
Initially, Isla had been filled with a sense of dread, wondering why she’d ever thought it a good idea in the first place, hoping the children wouldn’t bombard her with questions that she had no answers to and deciding that this would be the very last time that she did it.
Surprisingly though, something special happened during those thirty minutes, a transformation that took Isla back to her own childhood, experiencing the joy of being immersed in a story and transported to another world.
It was wonderful to share her love of books with the children, seeing their eager, happy faces, and against all her expectations, she finished the story times with a great deal of satisfaction.
‘Oh, I don’t mind the children; I love to see them enjoying themselves. My Ruby always used to say that it was the greatest gift you could instil in children, a love of reading.’
‘I would definitely agree with Ruby on that front.’ Isla leaned forward to return her empty mug to the table.
‘Although we do like to keep all our customers happy. Anyway, Henry, I do hope we’ll see you back at Finch’s soon because I, for one, miss you.
And I know Heathcliff does too. Sometimes, he curls up in your seat.
I’m sure he’s keeping it warm for you until you come back. ’
‘Really? Well, fancy that! When you get to my age, it’s easy to feel as though you don’t really belong, that perhaps it wouldn’t matter to anyone if you were here or not, so to know that you and the cat have missed me has made my day.’
‘Oh don’t say that! You matter to me.’ Isla placed a reassuring hand on his arm, and Henry chuckled.
‘It’s true. Besides, I do love the shop and I ought to make the most of it while I can because we don’t know how long it’s going to be around for, do we?’
Isla gasped. She didn’t like it when someone else voiced her own concerns.
It only served to magnify the issues. All the time she was busy in the bookshop, serving customers and fulfilling orders, she could put to the back of her mind the future of Finch’s.
Her focus was on the present and she wasn’t thinking beyond the end of the year on either a personal or professional basis.
In her mind, it was as though once she got to the new year, everything would somehow magically resolve itself, but she knew deep in her heart that wouldn’t be the case.
Now, with the reminder from Henry of the bookshop’s shaky status, the thought filled her with a sense of anxiety.
‘No, I have no idea. The bookshop is so popular. There would be a lot of disappointed people if it were to shut down for good.’
‘They need to get someone like you in to run the place. Then everyone’s problems would be solved.
I know you have your high-flying job in London.
Miriam told me all about that. You’re clearly very knowledgeable about the publishing industry and what will prove popular with the customers.
It certainly explains how you’ve managed to breathe some new life into Finch’s.
Now, if they could only find a replacement for you to permanently manage the place, it would solve all their problems.’
‘Oh God!’ Isla dropped her head onto the back cushion of the sofa. ‘Everyone’s so impressed by my bloody job.’
‘And so they should be!’ said Henry emphatically.
Isla fell quiet for a moment, examining the backs of her hands, before lifting her head to observe Henry.
‘Can I tell you a secret?’ she said morosely.
Henry nodded.
‘I’m afraid I’m a complete fraud. Everyone thinks I’ve got this amazing career in London when the truth is, I’ve actually been made redundant.
I don’t have a job any more and I have no idea what I’m going to do next.
I can’t have been that good to find myself in this position.
And the really stupid thing is that I’ve not been able to bring myself to tell anybody! I feel so ashamed.’
Henry looked at her with genuine concern, shifting himself in the seat alongside her so that he was facing her. He took hold of her hand.
‘Now goodness me, why would you feel that way? You’re not the first person to have been made redundant and you certainly won’t be the last. Sadly, it’s becoming a more common occurrence these days, especially in these uncertain economic times.
It won’t have been a personal decision, I’m sure, but a business decision. ’
Isn’t that what the CEO had told her? Isla couldn’t really remember because the words had all jumbled together in her head as she’d taken in the news. Restructuring. Market forces. Difficult decisions. A whole string of platitudes that had only made Isla angry.
‘You must surely have told your parents, though?’ Henry asked, concerned.
‘No!’ She grimaced. ‘Nor Jon and Miriam. They’ll all be so disappointed. And worried about me. It will spoil Christmas for everyone.’
‘Now, I don’t know your parents, but I’m sure they’re decent people like Jon and Miriam.
They would want to know because they would want to help you through what I’m sure is a very difficult time.
No one worth their salt is going to think any less of you because you’ve lost your job.
I would urge you to tell them. It will be a huge weight off your shoulders.
And look, you’ve told me and the world hasn’t come to an end, has it? It’ll be all right, Isla, you’ll see.’
What must Henry think of her? She hadn’t intended to spill her worries onto this lovely gentleman, but there was something so kindly and calming about him that made him an easy confidant. And it felt much safer telling someone she didn’t have a close connection to.
It was a relief to say the words out loud, to admit that she wasn’t as brilliant and capable as everyone thought she was. She bit on her lip to stop the emotion that was brewing inside. It wouldn’t be the done thing to burst into tears in this poor man’s living room.
‘Thanks, Henry. You’re absolutely right. I know I will have to tell people at some point, but it’s finding the right moment. All the time I’m busy at the bookshop, I don’t really have to think about it.’
‘I always think with these things that it’s easier to come out with it straight away, rather than putting it off. Otherwise, it builds up to something insurmountable in your mind. Do you have a boyfriend or a husband you can confide in?’ Henry ventured.
‘No.’ Isla shook her head. If she were anyone else, she might have felt sorry for herself. No permanent job, no boyfriend and no idea what she was going to do next. ‘You won’t mention it to anyone, will you?’
‘Of course not, your secret’s safe with me.’ He held a finger to his lips. ‘But for your own sake, I would advise you to tell others sooner rather than later. You’ll feel better for it.’
‘Thanks, Henry. I will do,’ said Isla, although she had no intention of taking his advice any time soon.