Chapter 3
Quinn was making one of his cutlery monsters. Every one was completely different, made from knives, forks or spoons, or other kitchen utensils, all with different facial expressions, they were very popular. This one looked particularly angry though, reflecting his mood perfectly.
He sighed. He wasn’t really angry at Alex. Of course she’d want to date and move on with her life, she wasn’t going to be mourning his brother forever and he didn’t want her to. But he’d really thought she would talk to him about it first. They talked about everything.
He’d wondered for a long time when she would be ready to date again.
She’d been so upset after Liam’s death and understandably so: she’d lost her husband, the father of her child.
So when she’d tried to kiss him about two months after the funeral, he’d stopped her because she was emotional and vulnerable and he would never want to take advantage of that.
But he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t tempted.
He had fallen for her so fast and so hard and he hated himself a little because of that.
She was his brother’s wife and although he hadn’t spoken to Liam for over five years prior to his death, he still owed him some loyalty.
But as time had gone on and his feelings had grown stronger and he and Alex had got closer, that loyalty hadn’t seemed that important anymore, though it was still part of the reason he held himself back.
He’d tried to gauge when would be a good time to tell her he had feelings for her and that he wanted to be the one to take her out on a date.
He’d decided to do it at Christmas and had been planning what to say ever since making that decision.
But it wasn’t straightforward. Would she feel that dating him was too close to home or disloyal to Liam? And what if she didn’t want to date him, would that make things awkward when he came round to see her and Zara? And how would it feel to come round to see Zara, and Alex was with another man?
And that was the crux of it. Quinn wasn’t angry with her for wanting to date, he was annoyed with himself because he felt like he’d missed his chance.
He’d waited too long to make his move and, while coffee today was unlikely to end up being the big love story, if she and this man hit it off he’d always be kicking himself for not telling her how he felt.
He couldn’t exactly march back in there and declare his feelings because now it would look like he was saying it just to stop her from dating.
But regardless of what happened he needed to apologise. He had no right to react like that. He needed to react like a friend. Venturing into the dating pool after so long was likely to be a daunting experience and he needed to be there for her.
He’d let her calm down first while he worked out what he was going to say.
His mum suddenly appeared at the doorway, all big smiles and happiness. Quinn adored his mum, she had always been his and Liam’s biggest cheerleaders growing up so it had broken her heart when Liam became estranged from them, even if there was a part of her that had known it was for the best.
When his brother and then his father died, Quinn and his mother had become closer than ever.
He was all she had left, which was why she had opened her arms and her heart so widely to incorporate Alex, Zara and even Immy into her life.
At four foot seven, his mother was exactly two feet smaller than him but although she was tiny she had the biggest heart and looked like a storybook grandma with her gold-rimmed glasses and curly white hair.
She was at her happiest knitting jumpers for her family or making cakes for them.
But she was a formidable force when she needed to be.
If someone crossed her, then they definitely knew about it.
‘Hello, my dear,’ his mum said, coming over to give him a big hug despite it only having been a few days since the last time he’d seen her. He hugged her back equally as hard.
She pulled back and he placed his hands on her shoulders. ‘How are you doing?’
He knew this time of year was hard for her celebrating another Christmas without her husband.
She always loved Christmas and having lots of people round to celebrate but he felt like the last few years she’d been putting on a brave face or hiding behind all preparations for Christmas Day so she wouldn’t have to think about Henry.
Whenever it got to this time of year, he thought her happiness was a little bit forced but this year she was glowing.
‘I’m doing good, really good,’ Violet smiled. No, not smiling, she was beaming.
‘You look really happy, is there something in particular that has put a smile on your face?’
‘No, no, everything is fine,’ Violet said, her voice high with… nerves? Anxiety? There was something going on. ‘Does a woman need a reason to be happy?’
‘Well, no, I guess not but—’
‘I’ve brought you your Christmas jumper,’ Violet said, deftly changing the subject as she rooted around in her bag.
She pulled out her knitting masterpiece triumphantly and held it out so he could see the design.
Quinn was by now an expert at showing his enthusiasm for her jumpers, but this one was going to take all of his acting skills as he had no idea what it was supposed to be.
Some kind of animal maybe. Were those antlers on its head?
But if it was a reindeer, this one had six legs.
Maybe it was a stag beetle, those pincers could be mistaken for antlers, at a push…
‘I love it,’ he said, hoping he hadn’t taken too long to try and decipher what it was. ‘Definitely my favourite so far.’
‘Come on then, put it on.’
He pulled it over his head and looked down to see that one side was definitely longer than the other. He quickly put his hand in his jeans pocket to hide that from her, bunching up the jumper as he did so.
‘It fits perfectly.’ If perfectly was having enough room for Alex to share the jumper with him. Although that thought was pretty perfect.
‘It looks great on you, right, must go and give Alex hers.’
She turned and started to hurry out.
‘Mum.’
She turned back.
‘Are you sure everything is OK?’
She smiled brightly. ‘Everything is tickety-boo.’
She hurried out of his studio and he frowned. Something was definitely up, not least because he’d never heard her use the phrase tickety-boo before.
Alex was trying to concentrate on making a paper sculpture of a child building a snowman when she saw movement at the door.
She looked up to see Violet walking in. She would often pop in and see Alex at work and of course she was round the house a lot visiting Zara.
Alex loved her. It was funny to find out she and Henry had been living in the next town for the first half of Zara’s life.
Alex might have walked the streets with Zara and walked straight past them without even knowing.
‘Hello, my dear.’ Violet came over and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
She always wore the most amazing, brightly coloured dresses and clothes.
She walked with a cane and had a prominent limp on her left side, but even the cane was a different colour every day.
This morning’s one was red and white stripes like a candy cane.
‘I’ve finished knitting the Christmas jumpers for you.
’ She fished in her bag and pulled out a purple one which had to be Zara’s.
It had a kangaroo on it, Zara’s favourite animal, wearing a Santa hat.
At least Alex thought it might be a kangaroo.
Violet’s knitting was particularly bad and her animals were wonky, inaccurate and looked like they had been knitted by someone who had never seen a picture of the subject before.
This kangaroo might even be a crocodile or maybe a camel.
‘Zara will love that, thank you so much,’ Alex said. And that was the truth: Zara would get a big kick out of this and would happily wear it, if only for comedy value.
Violet smiled as she dug out the next one, a bright blue one with what appeared to be a dog on it. Alex guessed it was a poor attempt at a Skye terrier, also wearing a Santa hat, but honestly it could have been a gorilla or maybe a platypus.
‘This is for Immy.’
‘It’s gorgeous,’ Alex said, suppressing a smile.
Violet dug in her bag for the last one and Alex held her breath with nerves and a little dash of excitement about what would be on hers.
It was always a treat to see what kind of jumper she would get from Violet for Christmas.
Violet pulled out one that was a bright Barbie pink and on the front was…
well, to be honest Alex wasn’t sure what it was.
There were droplets of water coming out the top of the thing and it kind of looked like it might be an aubergine emoji, which most people knew represented a penis in text messages.
She half squinted her eyes as she tried to work it out.
She was pretty sure Violet hadn’t knitted her an aubergine emoji Christmas jumper, even if she didn’t know the alternative meaning behind it.
‘Do you like it?’ Violet said eagerly.
‘I love it,’ Alex said. ‘It’s wonderful.’
‘I thought I’d do you a whale as Quinn said you loved that whale and dolphin watching trip he took you and Zara on in the summer.’
It was a whale! Now Violet had identified it, it was obvious. OK, it wasn’t obvious at all but there were some similarities.
‘Thank you, that’s really sweet.’
‘Well, let’s see if it fits.’
Alex pulled it on and tried to suppress her laughter as she looked down at her aubergine or whale themed jumper. ‘This is… amazing.’
‘I’m so pleased you like it. Anyway, I must dash. I promised my neighbour I’d help her feed her tortoise this afternoon, the little bugger is quite vicious and we have to wear welding gloves to feed him.’