One Hundred Four
HELENE AND HER people still haven’t found Roof and Lynyrd Crockett, despite an escalating manhunt.
There’s not much for me to do to help, so I spend another day working in the fields with Charlie and Les, Charlie even letting me drive the grain truck.
I’m back in the gym around five in the afternoon, once again working out as if my life depends on it. I don’t even bring my phone with me in here any longer, not wanting any distractions, not wanting to lose my focus, feeling as if staying in shape is my real job.
Part of the plan.
Missing being a quarterback as much as I ever have, the feeling that I always had about being in control. Missing that part as much as I missed any of it, and listening to 16 Horsepower belt out “Haw”:
That road I seen the devil stalking
Dealing only with the dying…
I set down my barbells and crank up the music to the limit, then I walk back over and pick up kettlebells to start doing squats with them, refusing to give in to the pain or exhaustion, busting right through that, like I’m busting through a wall all over again.
I do fifteen more minutes and only then am I ready to let my thoughts return, allow myself to consider, as I do far too often, what will happen if we can’t nail any of the Crocketts, starting with the old man, for the truly bad shit they’ve done, and keep doing.
As I walk over to turn off the music, I’m startled to see Taylor standing in the doorway, her outstretched right hand heavy on the frame as if that’s the only thing keeping her upright.
There’s a look on her face I’ve seen only one other time—in Burt’s hospital room.
“It’s about Helene,” she says.