Chapter Six
JAKE
I stared into my coffee at the kitchen table. The clock on the microwave showed 5:53 a.m. I hadn’t slept well and woke in the middle of the night to peek in the girls’ rooms. Thankfully, they were all fast asleep. Even Nora, who had cried in my arms about her mother.
I was furious with Kate for not informing me she was pregnant. The last thing I wanted to do last night was call her, but after Ava dropped the bomb at dinner, I had no choice. She said she hadn’t realized Ava overheard her talking to her mom. She had planned to tell the girls next time she visited. I wished her parents had at least given me a heads-up.
Annoyance, anger, and a flurry of other emotions worked their way through me as my coffee grew cold.
The back door rattled as it opened, and I startled .
Natalia came through the door and looked surprised to see me too.
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t think you’d be awake yet.”
“I wish I wasn’t.” I stood and walked to the coffee pot for a fresh cup. “Coffee?”
“I’m not a coffee drinker.”
“Sacrilege.”
“I’m a tea kind of girl.”
“Good to know.” I tried not to stare at her neck, which was on full display, with her hair pulled atop her head in a bun. “You’re up early.”
“I wanted to get a head start on fixing the girls’ lunches and go over the schedule for the day again. So I don’t forget anything.”
“Good.” I sat down and took a sip of my coffee.
My eyes followed Natalia as she took out the supplies for the lunches and went about assembling sandwiches, crackers, and a couple Oreos for each girl as a treat like I usually had. I wanted to keep things as close to normal as I could. They’d been through enough changes lately.
I noticed she threw in a small bag of carrots as well. Bless her heart, but I knew those carrots would either come back home untouched or end up in the trash can at school.
My thoughts returned to last night when she’d glanced over her shoulder and called me Mr. Mills. I knew she hadn’t meant it to be flirtatious, but it had stirred something within me. Something wrong and forbidden. The single dad and the nanny. How cliché could I get?
“Do the younger girls need help picking out their outfits?” Her voice brought me back to reality as she zipped the lunchboxes closed .
“They laid clothes out last night, so that should save some time,” I said.
“Okay.” She opened up her phone and tapped on the screen a few times. “And I drop Ava off first, then Nora, then Piper.”
“Yep.”
“Do I need to walk any of them in?”
“Only Piper.”
“Can I ask why Nora and Ava don’t ride the bus to school? They’re in the district.”
I pursed my lips. “Kate and I agreed we wanted to avoid issues like bullying that can happen on school buses. And sickness was a worry too. That many kids in a small space is like a germ incubator.”
She nodded. “I get it. Just wondered.”
“You have full use of the family van,” I told her. “You can use it any time. Even for personal use if you need to.”
“I’ve always wanted to cruise around town in a minivan.” She had a teasing tone that I really liked.
“Hey, it’s great for dates. Plenty of room in the back.” I don’t know why I said that, and the pink of her cheeks I’d caused was visible in the low light of the kitchen. “Sorry. I was just joking.”
She waved me off and stared straight at her phone screen.
“Speaking of dates.” I hadn’t bridged this subject with her yet, but I felt I needed to right off the bat and get it out of the way. “I’d prefer it if you didn’t bring guys back to the guest house.”
Her eyes met mine, and her lips parted.
“I mean, your off hours are your own to do with whatever you want. But since the house is so close, I’d prefer there weren’t any overnight guests. For the girls’ sake.” And for mine. The words passed through my mind. I didn’t like thinking about her having a guy back there.
“I don’t … that is, I wouldn’t … I, uh …” She was adorable when she stuttered. “I don’t date.”
My brow furrowed. “I’m sorry, what?”
“I mean, I’ve never dated, so you don’t have to worry about … overnight guests.” Her cheeks were as red as a Macintosh apple.
“Never?”
She shook her head shyly.
This gorgeous woman standing before me was actually admitting she had never dated before, and I was completely floored.
“Why not?” I blurted. I really needed to think before speaking.
She chewed on her bottom lip, which grabbed my full attention.
“Sorry, this is not my business.” I felt bad for embarrassing her. “If you say you won’t bring dates back here, I believe you.”
The room was uncomfortably silent. The girls would be up soon, but I kind of wished they would storm down the stairs now and interrupt us.
“I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”
She twisted her lips to the side. “I haven’t dated because it’s hard to get to know someone when you can’t get your mouth to work around strangers—especially guys.”
“Your mouth’s working just fine right now.” I fought to keep from staring at her lips and smiled instead, hoping to break the tension .
She smiled shyly back at me, and the heaviness of the moment lifted. “That’s different. You’re my employer. I have to talk to you.”
I laughed. “Except when I ask overly personal questions.”
“Except then,” she replied.
“You really don’t owe me an explanation, Natalia. And I’m sorry again. I didn’t mean to pry.”
“It’s okay.” She gave me another little smile, and the sound of a thud followed by the scurry of little footsteps upstairs caught our attention.
“Piper.” I pointed at the ceiling. “The other two will sleep until I wake them, but never Piper.”
Little footfalls sounded on the stairs, and then Piper came flying into the room. Boy, did I wish I had her kind of energy in the morning.
“Good morning, Pipes.”
“G’morning, Daddy. I’m dry!”
I scooped her up and balanced her on my knee. “I’m proud of you.” I covered her ears and spoke softly to Natalia. “Sometimes she has accidents.”
Piper pushed my hands away. “Coffeeeeee!” She grabbed for my cup.
“For Daddy it is. For you, it’s milk time.”
“Chocolate,” she said as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.
“Only if I get morning kisses.” I stuck my face close to hers, and she cupped my face with her little hands and planted a kiss on my lips. I squeezed her close and kissed her cheek. “Love you.”
“Love you,” she said so sweetly.
I got up and set her down on the chair. “ Chocolate milk for you.”
“I can get it.” Natalia was already on her way to the refrigerator, and then she went searching for cups.
“The cupboard to the left of the fridge,” I told her.
She looked over her shoulder at me and nodded.
Noticing the cup she’d pulled out of the cupboard, I walked over to where she stood and reached over her shoulder to grab a different cup. My arm brushed against hers, and I felt her shiver.
“The blue cup with the fish is Piper’s, the pink princess cup is Ava’s, and the green one with flowers is Nora’s,” I explained.
“Thanks for saving me. My sisters used to get in major fights over people touching their stuff, so I get it.”
“You’re welcome.”
Whatever shampoo she used invaded my sense of smell. It was sweet like cotton candy and waffle cones and something fruity all at the same time, and there was no way I’d forget that fragrance any time soon.
I left Piper with Natalia and went to wake the other girls and get myself ready for work. When I came out of my shower, I was greeted with screeching from down the hall.
“You better put that on before the nanny comes up and yells at you,” Nora yelled at Ava.
“I don’t want to wear this outfit. I hate it. It has dirt spots on it. And Tally won’t yell at me. She’s nice.”
“I’m telling Dad. Dad! Ava won’t get dressed.”
I came out of my room with a towel wrapped around my waist just as Natalia reached the top of the stairs. Our eyes met, and hers drifted down my chest, then darted back up to my eyes. I’d seen her cheeks turn red earlier, but now they were nearly the color of beets .
“Sorry, I thought I could help,” she mumbled as she abruptly spun and rushed back down the stairs.
I let out a sigh. “Nora, finish getting ready.”
“I am ready!”
“Watch your tone. If you’re ready, go downstairs and eat.”
“I don’t want to. The nanny’s down there.”
“Stop referring to her as the nanny .”
“She is the nanny.”
I was losing all patience. “Her name is Tally, and I expect you to be kind and helpful.”
She walked past me toward the stairs with a snotty look on her face.
“Got it?”
“Got it,” she snapped.
I let out a deep breath as I walked into Ava and Piper’s room. “What’s wrong with the outfit you picked last night, Ava?”
“I want to wear the shirt with the heart on it.”
“Alright. Where is it?”
“Lost.”
“Ava, come on. We don’t have all morning.” I went to her dresser and looked through her shirts. “What about this one?”
She made a face at the rainbow-striped shirt I pulled out of the drawer. “That one’s too small.”
“Why is it still in your dresser then?”
“I don’t know.”
I held up another, and her face lit up.
“I like that one.”
“Thank God.” I closed the dresser before she had a chance to change her mind again and helped her get her shirt on. “Daddy needs to finish getting dressed, okay? I can’t go to work wearing a towel.”
Ava giggled. “That would be funny.”
I kissed the top of her head. “Go eat breakfast, please.”
She headed off toward the kitchen, and I stole back into my bathroom and looked at my reflection in the mirror. My sideburns and scruff seemed to go a little more grey every day. A little grey was to be expected at forty, but if Nora kept it up, I’d be completely grey by Friday. Forty also brought along with it some aches and pains. I’d been slacking on working out lately. I always felt better when I spent time strengthening my body. I made a mental note to get back to using the gym equipment in the basement.
Being a single dad was harder than I ever thought it would be. I wouldn’t change anything, though. Especially not our custody arrangement. I was incredibly thankful it had worked out this way. Some days I needed more time to myself, though. It had been forever since I focused on me. I wanted to go jogging or hiking without worrying about who would watch the girls. I wanted to eat dinner without cleaning up spills and messes during and after. And I wanted to go out and enjoy myself with friends or with a woman without feeling guilty about it. I was divorced. I was single. I was allowed to do that now.
I thought of the look on Natalia’s face when she saw me in my towel. I could no longer count on one hand the times I’d made her blush since we’d met. And I liked it. Too much. She was sweet and lovely and funny when she opened up a little. But she was young—twenty-eight next month, according to her resumé. Way too young for me. And she was my kids’ nanny.
I groaned and splashed my face with water. The nanny was all she could ever be.