Chapter Nine
TALLY
T he house was quiet in the early morning hours. Back home, I had always liked this time of day before everyone awoke and chaos ensued. I rummaged through the cupboards and found a mixing bowl, skillet, and griddle so I could make breakfast.
Soon, I heard movement upstairs and footfalls on the steps, and Jake came into the kitchen.
I looked over at him, and he was standing very still, staring at the bowl in which I was stirring the pancake batter.
“I’m making pancakes, eggs, and bacon.”
He turned away and went to the coffee pot.
I worked at the stove, stealing glances at him as he poured a cup of coffee then sat at the counter staring at his phone.
One by one, the girls came down the stairs, and I loaded up their plates with food at the kitchen table .
Jake barely acknowledged me, and so far, he’d always kept the conversation going between us. My insecurities were on high alert. Maybe he wasn’t a morning person and his true self was showing through. I worried I’d said or done something wrong. My mind played back over the night before. I couldn’t think of anything. I needed to stop being so paranoid all the time. It was a problem I had. But old habits die hard.
“Is everything okay?” I forced the words from my mouth as I set a plate in front of him.
He glanced up at me, then at the food before him. “Everything’s fine. This looks amazing.”
I made myself a plate and stood at the counter across from him to eat. After last night, I didn’t feel right sitting at the table with Nora. I hoped things would get better between us the more she got to know me, but for now, it would require baby steps. A connection could not be forced.
“The girls are going to their grandparents for the night, so they’ll pick them up from school today,” Jake said.
“Oh, okay.”
The noise level at the table grew louder as Ava picked on Piper, Piper whined for her daddy, and Nora yelled at both of them to quit it. Jake raised his voice at them a few times, but it didn’t stop them completely. Ava started poking Piper’s arm, which made her cry.
I went about making their lunches and putting them in their backpacks. When my younger siblings were like this back home, we’d separate them, stand them in corners, make them apologize and hug it out, then they had to eat their breakfast cold.
“Girls! Stop!” Jake snapped. “I don’t want to hear another word. And Ava, keep your hands to yourself. ”
The littler girls pouted or whimpered, and Nora ate her breakfast in silence.
Jake put his plate in the sink, kissed each of his daughters on the top of the head, and headed for the door.
“Have a good day,” I told him.
“Thanks. You, too.” He avoided eye contact again.
“Be careful on your drive home. The forecast says we’re in a Winter Weather Advisory for tonight.”
His eyes met mine briefly. “I will. Thanks.”
I gave him a little smile, and he closed the door to the garage behind him.
The whole vibe this morning had been a full one-eighty from yesterday. He’d been so welcoming and friendly before. I wondered if this was how he would be every day or if something had happened to upset him.
I got the girls to school on time. Nora didn’t duck down in the seat this time, but she did pull her hood up in a way that sort of hid her face.
Afterward, I headed to The Brew to meet Jessa and Penny. The nicest thing about this new job was the free time I had during the day. I was used to watching toddlers all day long at home, so to be able to get out and have some time to myself was wonderful. Penny had the day off, and since Jessa ran her own graphic design business, she had the most flexible schedule of all of us girls.
I was the first to arrive, and I ordered a cup of tea and found a seat to people-watch. A lot of familiar faces came and went from the coffee shop that morning, as usual. A few who knew my family said hello, but I kept praying people wouldn’t recognize me or acknowledge me there. I much preferred to fade into the background and observe .
The door jingled when Jessa entered, and she gave me a wave, then went straight to the counter and grabbed a cup of the house brew. Penny arrived minutes later and headed for the counter.
“Hey.” Jessa plopped down across from me.
“Hi.” I bounced the tea bag in my cup.
She exhaled a heavy breath.
“What’s wrong?” I knew that exhale meant something was up.
“My dad called last night. He invited his new girlfriend to our family Christmas. Pamela.” Jessa made a face and drew out the uh at the end of Pamela’s name.
“Wow. It must be serious then.”
Jessa’s father had never remarried after her mother left him, but he’d dated off and on over the years.
“I don’t know. I’ve never even met this one. How serious could it be?”
“That’s probably why he invited her. And maybe she’ll be great.” I tried to reassure her.
“Maybe.”
“Are your brothers going to be at Christmas?”
“Yeah. Did I tell you Wyatt and Erica split up?”
“You said they were having problems.”
“She asked for a divorce.”
“Who asked for a divorce?” Penny asked as she joined us.
“Erica.”
“Oh no. Poor Wyatt. They’ve been together forever.”
“I know. I wish they could’ve worked it out. It will be weird not having her there this year. She’s been part of our family for fifteen years. ”
“I’m so sorry,” I said. “Maybe they can work things out.”
“I don’t know. Doesn’t seem like it.” She slurped her coffee and waved a hand in the air. “Such is life, right?”
Jessa had a way of detaching herself from things so easily. At least that’s how it appeared from the outside. She had so much churning around inside her that I was sure one day she was going to explode from holding it all in.
“At least she didn’t run off with another guy and get pregnant.” I regretted saying it the second the words left my mouth.
“Who did that?” Jessa asked.
“Jake’s ex-wife.”
“Oh, wow,” Penny said. “So things at the nanny job are interesting, I take it.”
“I shouldn’t have said that. It’s his private business. Please don’t repeat it.”
“We won’t, Tal.” She patted my shoulder. “Besides the juicy gossip, how’s the job going?”
I pursed my lips at her, and she chuckled.
“It’s good.” I thought about that for a second. “Actually, it’s more of an adjustment than my past jobs have been.”
“How so?” Penny quirked her brow.
“The kids are older, for one thing, and the nine-year-old is not happy I’m there. She makes it very obvious. I think some of that has to do with her wishing her mom was there instead of me.” I second-guessed bringing that up in front of Jessa, but once it was out there, I couldn’t take it back.
“I get that,” Jessa said. “I was too young to remember much about my mom, but it’s gotta be harder for an older child to deal with all that. I know it was for my brothers. ”
“Yeah. And they just found out their mom’s having a baby, so that’s a sudden blow too.”
Jessa looked contemplative. “I sometimes wonder if my mom ever started another family. Like, do I have half brothers and sisters out there? So weird to think of.”
“That would be weird,” was all I could think to say.
I couldn’t understand someone who would have four kids then just walk away without looking back like Jessa’s mom had. At least Nora, Ava, and Piper’s mom was still in contact with them. Well, I was pretty sure she was.
“But what if you had a sister?” Penny added. “How cool would that be, Jess?”
Jessa shrugged. “I have you guys. Why would I need a sister?”
We exchanged smiles, then Penny shifted the conversation back to me. “How’s living in the house with the family?”
“I actually live in their guest house. It’s really cute and gives me plenty of privacy.”
“Much less awkward than moving in with a single dad.”
I chuckled. “Yeah.”
“How’s that going? After the grocery store debacle and everything?”
“It’s fine. At least, it was until this morning. He was acting really weird. I’m sure he just woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something.”
“Weird, how?” Penny asked.
“Like, he barely said two words to me, which from what I know of him is not the usual. He never stops talking. And he wouldn’t even look at me. ”
“Did you have bedhead?” Jessa joked.
“I looked just like this.” I motioned at my hair up in the usual messy bun.
Penny opened her mouth as if to say something, then closed it again.
“What?”
“Maybe he’s into you.”
“What? No.” I shook my head.
“I mean, he was avoiding eye contact, not talking to you. Those are things you do when you’re either mad at someone or you like them.”
“That’s a stretch,” Jessa said.
“It’s possible.” Penny winked.
“He’s my boss.”
“Exactly. He’s your boss. He’s not allowed to like you. It’s … forbidden.” She said forbidden all dramatically and bounced her eyebrows up and down.
“You’re ridiculous. And wrong,” I said.
“Care to bet on it?”
I snickered. “I’m not betting with you.”
She laughed. “Because you know you’ll lose.”