Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
brYNN AND THE EMERALD GAZE
The crackle of the fire made the bedroom cozy. I sat on the edge of my bed, the warmth of the flames throwing a golden glow across the space. The plush carpet under my bare feet felt like a luxury I still couldn’t get used to, just as the mending bruises and fading cuts that marred my skin were reminders of a harsher existence.
Funny how a soft floor could feel so foreign, like my feet were sinking into another world. Part of me wanted to dig my toes in deeper, while another part screamed to run back to familiar concrete. Old habits die hard, I guess.
“Your arm...does it still hurt?” Joel’s voice was gruff.
I looked up. He entered the room and stood by the fireplace, his shadow coloring the wall like a dark stain.
I flexed my fingers, feeling the twinge of soreness. “It’s sore, but better each day. My ribs don’t hurt as much anymore, either. I feel like I’m regaining my strength. Thanks to you and your cousins.”
Joel crossed the room, his movements purposeful, the muscles in his arms visible under the fitted shirt. “You shouldn’t have been there, Brynn. Facing Shoemaker alone was reckless,” he said, his eyes fierce, a passionate intensity emanating from his stance.
Oh, here we go. Another lecture from the great Joel Porter. As if I needed reminding of my own stupidity. But hey, at least he cared enough to scold me, right? That’s progress in my book.
I frowned, rising to meet his gaze head-on. “What choice did I have after you threw me out, Joel? I mean, I get it. You were angry that I had lied and pretended to be Elizabeth, but I needed that money for me and Kay…I just never should’ve trusted Mr. Shoemaker.”
“I know…it’s…my fault. Not yours.” His voice rose. “You’re not invincible. You could’ve been killed, and for what? You think you don’t have people who care about what happens to you?”
In my world, caring usually came with strings attached, and I wasn’t in the mood for another puppet show.
“Like whom? Or do you mean control? Because ever since I got myself dragged into this Elite mess, I feel more like a liability than a person.”
His jaw clenched, and emotion flashed in his green stare before he took a step closer. “This isn’t about control. It’s about not wanting to lose you.”
His admission struck a chord, the raw honesty disarming me for a moment. Well, that was unexpected. For a second, I almost believed him.
Still, a tiny part of me wanted to believe that someone actually gave a damn.
“Is it?” I swallowed hard. “Or are you just too afraid to admit your own weaknesses? That behind all that anger is just misplaced fear?”
Joel’s laugh was without humor. “You think you know everything, huh? You’re so quick to push everyone away, to act tough. But maybe you’re the one who’s scared, Brynn. Scared of letting anyone close enough to see the real you.”
I lifted my chin. “At least I’m not pretending anymore. This is the real me. And anyway, why are you picking a fight with me today? What’s got you all twisted up?”
Something shifted in Joel’s expression, the hard lines of his face softening as he gazed at me with an intensity that made my knees weak. He took a step closer, the space between us crackling with an electric tension that set my nerve endings on fire. The sudden shift caught me off guard, my breath hitching when he took another step closer.
“You want to know why I’m twisted up?” His voice was low and rough. “Because I can’t stop thinking about you, Brynn. And it scares the hell out of me.”
My pulse pounded in my ears, my heart slamming against my ribs as if it wanted to break free. I swallowed hard past the lump in my throat. “Joel, I—”
But before I could finish, he closed the distance between us in one swift motion. His hands came up to cup my face, his touch searing my skin as he brought his lips crashing down on mine. The kiss was fierce and desperate, filled with all the pent-up longing and desire we’d both been trying so hard to deny. A moan escaped me as I melted into him, my arms winding around his neck to pull him closer.
When we finally broke apart, we were both gasping for air. Joel rested his forehead against mine, his warm breath fanning my face.
“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” he murmured.
A whirlwind of emotions swirled inside me after that kiss—desire, confusion, fear…yearning. For once, I didn’t want to overthink it. I didn’t want to push him away. Instead, I fisted my hands in his shirt and yanked him back to me, our mouths meeting again in a passionate frenzy. His hands roamed my body, setting me ablaze with every touch. I tugged impatiently at his shirt, desperate to feel his skin against mine. We stumbled backwards until my back hit the wall, Joel’s hard body pressing into me deliciously.
“Brynn. Damn, you drive me crazy.” He groaned against the sensitive skin of my neck, his lips trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses along my collarbone.
I arched into him, my fingers threading through his hair to hold him to me. “Shut up and kiss me,” I demanded breathlessly, my voice rough with need.
He captured my lips again, kissing me with a hunger that left me weak. Our bodies moved together, passion building between us like a raging inferno. In that moment, wrapped in Joel’s arms, all my carefully constructed walls came tumbling down, leaving me vulnerable and exposed - and I didn’t even care. All that mattered was him and the way he made me feel, like I was finally alive, finally whole.
Damn, when did I become such a sap? Me, Brynn Soto, street-smart survivor, melting like a popsicle in July. But Joel’s touch... it was like striking a match to gasoline. My usual cynicism didn’t stand a chance.
Joel’s hands slid down to grip my hips, pulling me impossibly closer. His touch ignited a fire within me, consuming every rational thought. I gasped against his lips, overwhelmed by the intensity of my desire.
“Brynn,” he whispered, his husky timbre igniting a flurry of butterflies in my stomach. “You’ve turned my world upside down. Ever since the day, I…kidnapped you.”
A soft, shared laugh escaped our lips, the sound mingling in the charged space between us.
I gazed up at him from beneath my lashes, a coy smile playing at the corners of my mouth. “You mean the day, I let you kidnap me.”
Then I was hit with mild panic. I wanted to run, to protect myself from the raw vulnerability consuming me, pulsed through my veins. Yet as I lost myself in the depths of Joel’s expression, I found a mirror of my own longing, fear, and fiery desire reflected back at me.
Leaning into his touch, I allowed my fingers to trace the rugged line of his jawline, savoring the rough stubble beneath my fingertips. “I’m not good at this. Opening up, letting people in. It’s...not my jam, you know?”
Understatement. My emotional walls were usually as impenetrable as a fortress. Yet here I was cracking open like an egg. What kind of magic was Joel working on me?
Joel’s forehead came to rest against mine, his breath a tantalizing caress against my skin. “I know. But you don’t have to be afraid with me. I’m not going anywhere.”
My heart thumped wildly in my chest. I wanted to believe him, to trust in the sincerity of his words. Except years of betrayal and disappointment made it hard to silence the doubts whispering in the back of my mind.
“How can you be so sure? You barely know me.”
My old defenses flared to life, a knee-jerk reaction born from a lifetime of self-preservation. But instead of pulling away, Joel held my gaze with an intensity that seemed to pierce straight through to my soul.
Damn him and those smoldering eyes. I wanted to look away, to retreat behind the safety of my well-worn armor, but I found myself captivated. It was like trying to out-stare a particularly determined hawk.
“I know enough,” Joel said firmly, his hands rising to cradle my face with a gentleness that made my breath catch. “I know you’re strong, fierce, and loyal to a fault. I know you’d do anything for your sister. And I know that in spite of everything you’ve been through, you still have the capacity to care deeply.”
With those words, he shattered the fortified walls I’d so carefully constructed around my heart. I felt exposed, vulnerable, but also strangely alive, as if he’d awakened a part of me I’d long thought dead. A shuddering sigh escaped my lips—it was as if he’d reached into my very soul and branded it as his own. How could he see me so clearly when I’d spent years perfecting the art of invisibility?
And the worst part? A tiny, traitorous part of me was actually enjoying it. Who knew emotional vulnerability could feel so...freeing?
“Joel, I...I’m glad I met you and your cousins. You’ve all come to mean so much to me,” I admitted.
He silenced me with a kiss, his lips moving against mine with a tenderness that stole the air from my lungs. This kiss was different from the passionate embraces we’d shared before—it spoke of understanding, acceptance, and a connection that transcended mere physical attraction.
As we parted, I found myself instinctively seeking the solid warmth of his embrace, my body molding itself to his as if it had finally found its home. For the first time in years, I allowed myself to entertain the possibility of letting someone in, of entrusting my battered heart to another.
“I can’t promise it’ll be easy. I’m not exactly an open book,” I whispered, my lips brushing against the heated skin of his neck.
More like a locked vault with a forgotten combination. But somehow, this infuriating man had found the key.
Joel’s chest rumbled with a low chuckle, the vibrations sending delicious shivers racing down my spine. “Good thing I enjoy a challenge then.”
His strong arms enveloped me, pulling me flush against his muscular frame. Our mouths crashed together in a blaze of passion, tongues tangling as we drank each other in. My hands roamed his body, mapping every contour through the fabric of his clothes. A deep, lusty growl vibrated through his chest as he began peeling away my layers, revealing my bare skin to his heated gaze.
I returned the favor, helping him shed his own garments until we stood naked before each other. The sight of his sculpted physique and impressive arousal sent a rush of molten desire flooding through my veins. Wordlessly, Joel guided me to the king-sized bed, our gazes locked in an intimate dance as we lay down together.
Lost in another panty melting kiss, I reveled in the exquisite slide of his skin against mine. Every touch, every caress ignited a fire within me, stoking the flames of a long-dormant passion. In Joel’s arms, I felt cherished, desired, and alive in ways I had never known.
This was uncharted territory for me, and I wanted to run screaming for the hills. But I also knew that I had been starved for genuine connection for so long, that my heart refused to let go. I was all in, come hell or high water. And knowing my luck, probably both.
Joel’s hands explored my curves with reverent hunger, leaving waves of fire in their wake. I arched into his touch, desperate for more. His lips blazed a path down my neck to my collarbone, nipping and sucking as he went. Moans spilled unbidden from my throat as he lavished attention on my breasts, tongue swirling around each pert nipple before drawing it into the wet heat of his mouth.
My fingers tangled in his hair, urging him on as he moved lower, kissing his way down my stomach. But before he could reach the apex of my thighs, I tugged him back up, needing to feel his weight pressing me into the mattress. Our mouths fused once more as I reached between our bodies to stroke his thick, hard shaft. Joel groaned into the kiss, hips reflexively bucking into my grip.
“Brynn,” he panted against my lips. “If you keep that up, this’ll be over before it starts.”
I flashed him a wicked grin. “Well, we can’t have that now, can we?”
Rolling us over, I straddled his hips, positioning myself above his straining erection. With agonizing slowness, I sank down, sheathing him inside my slick heat inch by delicious inch. Twin moans of ecstasy filled the air as I began to move, rocking against him in a primal rhythm as old as time itself.
Joel’s hands gripped my hips, guiding my movements as he thrust up to meet me. The room echoed with the sounds of our passion - ragged breaths, throaty moans, and the slap of sweat-slicked skin against skin. Pleasure built within me with each powerful stroke, coiling tighter and tighter until it finally exploded in a supernova of sensation.
I cried out Joel’s name like a desperate prayer as ecstasy shattered through me, my inner walls clamping down on his thick, pulsing length. With a guttural shout, he followed me over the precipice, filling me with his liquid heat. We clung to each other as the aftershocks rolled through us, reveling in our profound connection.
My heart pounded like a jackhammer, threatening to burst from my chest. Holy hell, I’d never felt anything like this before. It was like every nerve ending in my body had been lit up and doused in kerosene.
Joel pressed a tender kiss to my temple, his warm breath fanning my skin. “That was...transcendent,” he murmured, his deep voice rough with lingering desire. “I’ve craved this, yearned for you for so long, Brynn.”
I lifted my head from where it rested on his sweat-slicked chest, meeting his scorching gaze. Raw vulnerability churned in my belly. “I know the feeling. But Joel, you have to understand...like I said, letting people in, trusting them with my heart...it’s not easy for me.”
He caught my trembling hand, bringing it to his sensual lips to brush a worshipful kiss across my knuckles. “I understand, Brynn. Truly, I do. But I’m not going anywhere. We can take this at whatever pace you need. I just want to be with you, to take care of you, in whatever way you’ll allow me. It’s not just me as you know. All three of us want you. It’s all we have talked about while you were healing.”
Fierce emotion clogged my throat at his heartfelt declaration. I knew Joel was a man of unshakable integrity, but a lifetime of betrayals and disappointments made it hard to fully embrace the fragile hope unfurling in my chest. Still, gazing into his earnest emerald gaze, I couldn’t help but want to try. Maybe it was finally time for me to trust again—to trust the devoted Porters—all three incredible men with my wary heart.
“Okay,” I whispered, nestling into his protective embrace once more, breathing in his intoxicating scent of leather and spice. “I’m ready to trust you…all of you.”
While we lay there, limbs entwined and hearts intimately bared, I allowed myself to imagine a brighter future where I now let my defenses crumble and loved with wild abandon. I could do this, I could love all three amazing men…couldn’t I? I wanted to try.
A wry smirk lifted my lips as I considered the absurdity of my situation. I was the girl who’d spent years building walls higher than the New Boston skyline, suddenly contemplating a polyamorous relationship with three cousins. If someone had told me this a month ago, I’d have laughed in their face and probably punched them for good measure. Yet here I was, my heart doing somersaults at the mere thought of it. Life sure had a twisted sense of humor.