Chapter Twenty-Two #2
“No. Not him. Of the vision.” Ant’s voice was barely a whisper, his words slurring with exhaustion.
“When the ward-trap caught me, and I couldn’t break free.
I kept watching Ronald die over and over, and I could feel myself.
..dissolving. Like I was becoming part of the memory instead of observing it. ”
Viktor’s arm tightened reflexively.
“I wasn’t afraid of dying,” Ant continued. “Dying is just another part of life. But I was terrified of being lost in that loop forever. I was scared that I’d never find my way back to you.”
Fuck. Viktor buried his face in Ant’s hair, breathing in the familiar scent. “You found me. I’m right here.”
“That’s because you came for me.” Ant’s words were fading, sleep pulling him under. “You always come for me...”
His breathing deepened, and within moments Ant was fully asleep, his body finally releasing the last of its tension. It was Viktor who was the one left lying awake, holding his mate close.
He was scared. Not of that fucking Claudius, or being in a coven, or even the wards themselves. It was the thought of being trapped, of losing himself, and of never returning to Viktor that had frightened him.
Viktor stared at the ceiling, processing his own tangled emotions. I was scared, too, babe. Scared of not being strong enough to get us out.
Going back to Claudius’s estate had been like stepping into a nightmare he’d spent a very long time trying to forget.
The suffocating hierarchy, the casual cruelty, the way Claudius treated humans as cattle, and viewed other vampires as either assets or threats.
Viktor had left that world behind when he got sick of the paranoia and violence.
He’d spent the rest of his time drifting – traveling over most of the world until he ended up working for Tony Manzano, running cons, and using his skills to survive in the shadows of human society.
I thought that was freedom and that I’d chosen my own path.
But in reality, Viktor had just been alone.
Completely alone, never giving a fuck about anyone until Ant had walked into that courtroom in his button-up and jeans - the ones without the rips.
Viktor smiled at the memory. In that moment, Viktor’s entire world had shifted, even though he didn’t know why until later.
And today, that fucking Claudius had tried to take it all away. Viktor quickly took a few calming breaths. Ant could pick up his emotions even in sleep, and he was already exhausted - Viktor didn’t want him feeling any worse than he already was. But inside, he still seethed.
The fucker hadn’t thought for a moment that maybe I’d changed, and Viktor knew why. It was because Claudius was the one who hadn’t changed in all the time they’d been apart. Claudius looked at Viktor and saw what he used to be - a loyal coven member bound by the old ways.
But Viktor wasn’t that person anymore, and in truth hadn’t been that person for a long time. But in Ant, he’d found something worth fighting for, worth protecting, and perhaps more importantly, someone worth loving.
Able shifted at the foot of the bed, and Viktor glanced down to find the dog watching him with dark, intelligent eyes. The German shepherd’s ears were pricked forward, his expression alert despite his own exhaustion.
He’s checking on us, Viktor realized. Making sure we’re safe.
“We’re okay, boy,” Viktor murmured. “You can rest.”
Able’s tail thumped once against the mattress before he lowered his head back onto his paws, though his eyes remained partially open.
A loyal guardian to the bitter end. There was nothing Able wouldn’t do to protect Ant. He’d die to protect Ant if necessary, and Viktor understood that instinct completely.
He looked down at his sleeping mate - his brilliant, literal-minded mage who could see the horrors people inflicted on others and refused to let those scenes sway him from doing what he believed was the right thing.
Finding justice for the innocent. And because Ant believed in doing the right thing, Viktor was learning to do it, too, because Ant mattered.
Not the violence, ancient vampire laws, or the old ways. Not even a life in the shadows that Viktor had clung to like a cloak because he didn’t want to be seen. Before Ant, he’d just wanted to be left alone to survive.
But curled up around his mate, holding him close in the late afternoon while Ant slept, Viktor knew that was the most important thing he’d ever done in his life - protecting the quiet domestic life they’d built together…with the occasional murder hunt.
Home, Viktor thought, pressing a kiss to Ant’s temple.
This is home. Ant made a soft sound in his sleep and burrowed deeper into Viktor’s embrace.
His fingers curled loosely against Viktor’s forearm, and his breathing remained deep and even.
Healing, recovering, and able to do so because he trusted Viktor to stand watch.
I’ve got you, precious, Viktor thought. For as long as our hearts keep beating, you’ll have me.