Chapter 19
CADE
The barren bathroom looked lonely, and smelled acidic.
The pungent smell of the glue that I put around each individual tube and attachment in the plumbing lingered in the air. I’d propped open the window for a few minutes to vent it, allowing icy tendrils inside.
Noelle held onto a garbage bag while she gathered up sawed-off chunks of pipe, stuffing them in the bag.
She wore her hair in a high ponytail. A hint of dirt smudged her cheek, and I’d spent the last hour stopping myself from swiping it off.
At some point, I’d have to do something about this attraction, because it was making me inefficient and frustrated.
What that something was, I couldn’t guess. Staking a claim? Sounded a little too patriarchal and 1800’s. She wasn’t property. But dancing sounded nice. Holding her close, free to smell her hair, feeling her hand in mine . . .
. . . yeah, that wouldn’t help.
Yet, now I couldn’t get it out of my mind.
I stepped away from the plumbing, satisfied. The glue would dry overnight. Nelson, a local plumber and friend, would swing by later to approve it, and we could board up the floor with plywood again, before we went to tile. Cody and Wyatt were about to learn a steep lesson in grout and patience.
“Impressive,” Noelle declared.
Her sincerity thrilled me, but I hid it with a scoff. “We’ll see. Nelson will approve it, if it works. You have to have the angles just right. I think I do, but you never know.”
She set the garbage bag outside of the room and pulled a folded paper from her pocket. “As soon as the floor is done, we can move onto drywall, tape, and mudding?”
“Yep.”
“How long will the floor take?”
Frowning, I said, “Longer than I’d like, because I’ve got to teach Cody and Wyatt how to do it.”
“Who taught you how to do all this?”
I smiled. “A few other bosses, but mostly Morgan. We helped another family redo their bathroom when I first started working for him, and I’ve had odd jobs repairing things that fell apart here. He taught me all kinds of skills.”
The edges of her face softened. A hum issued from her throat as she skimmed her list again, folded it, and stuffed it into her pocket.
Tired bruises still lingered beneath Noelle’s eyes, but not as deeply as before.
Slowly, she recovered from lost sleep at night.
I wanted to wake up with Lily and help more, but didn’t want to be too eager, too intrusive.
Just another sign that I needed to do something about this attraction.
We sat in a calm lull, lost in our own thoughts, before she broke the quiet.
“Do you have to do that?”
I turned to look at her.
“Do what?”
“Teach Cody and Wyatt?”
“I suppose I don’t. If you want it done faster, I could do—”
She held up a hand. “No, no, it’s fine. I just . . . after Wyatt and Cody spoke about their different parents and foster care, and then you coming along to take them in, I was just curious. The dynamic of your relationship with them is . . . sweet. Like an older brother.”
Her statement was more searching than not.
I couldn’t blame her questions. History lay between Cody, me, and his mother.
Wyatt’s case was far more straightforward, but no less sad.
Both of his parents died, leaving him at the mercy of a rotten old drunk grandfather.
That’s when I stepped in. Both were troubled youths with nowhere to go except the foster system, or here.
I remembered trying to dodge the system, to keep Cora safe. Remembered longing for someone to step up and be the adult instead of me. Thankfully, no one showed up for us, which allowed me to keep Cora and raise her myself. I lost my childhood, but she kept hers, and that’s what mattered.
To Cody and Wyatt, I was equal parts father-figure and big brother. I loved those two idiots in ways I didn’t know love could happen.
But how to explain that?
“Wyatt needed a father,” I said finally, summarizing it as best I could.
“He was going to end up in prison or juvenile detention if someone didn’t step in.
So I did. Your grandpa was fine with it, because he trusted me to deal with him and we needed help, but didn’t have money at the time.
Cody came along next, only a few months later.
It was rough at first, making the boys understand that I was in charge and that my word was my bond.
Eventually, they understood that I’d never hurt them, raise my voice to them, or leave. At that point, they accepted.”
Noelle's curiosity had softened to genuine warmth.
“But things are better now?”
Laughing, I said, “Wyatt still has his moments, but he’s much calmer. It’s easier for him with Cody here. Wyatt was wild. They had a hard time controlling him and his temper.”
She seemed to absorb both stories.
“Does Cody have contact with his parents?”
“Cody visits his mother every month, on the first Sunday. He eats dinner with her, and he visits his dad every year at Christmas, and sometimes on his dad’s birthday. His dad is in prison,” I added.
She nodded, lips rounded into an O. “They needed you.” Her additional comment was clearly spoken, non-emotional, but somehow packed with meaning. I met her eyes, sensing that what she sought from this conversation had little to do with Wyatt, Cody, or curiosity.
“Do you always take in the lost and stranded who need help? Are you always the hero, Cade?”
Her question lacked sarcasm or teasing, only a soulful curiosity that made me nervous. No, not nervous. Vulnerable. Like she tore open a cabinet that housed every insecurity. How to respond? Words tied me into knots, so I said the only thing I could.
“If I could have helped my mom, I would have. But I can’t now, couldn’t then, so helping others seems like the next best equivalent.”
A flash of tears appeared in her eyes. Her voice gained a husky note.
“Cade, if I bring Lily’s paternal grandparents here, they’re going to draw conclusions about you and me.
They’re going to . . . know . . . about your life.
You’ll lose some of this privacy. I see how approaching them head-on could be powerful and helpful for me and Lily,” she quickly added, swiping the almost-falling tears free.
“But it may be a responsibility that isn’t yours to take.
You could get dragged into something that goes for years. ”
“Who said I didn’t want some responsibility for you and Lily?” I asked quietly.
The words fell like bombs. Stunned, Noelle blinked. I’d taken her aback, and myself too. What had I just done?
Staked my claim, that’s what. And I had no idea how she’d take it.
The shot of panic that gelled in my veins rooted me to the spot. All we did was stare for a full five seconds while the color restored to her features again. Confusion and questions filled her eyes like smoke.
“Cade, I—”
“Hold on, Noelle. I’m not . . . that is .
. . all I’m trying to say is that I would love for you and Lily to stay here.
You’re not an imposition. You’re good for Cody and Wyatt, you’re helpful to me, and this is your grandfather’s house.
I’m not here to rip it from your family. There’s plenty of space.”
“Yes, we’ve established this, but—”
I held up a hand.
”—but,” I said gently, “you’re worrying entirely too much about me when you should be thinking about Lily and yourself.
I can handle myself, my reputation, and Lily’s grandparents.
I don’t care what conclusions they draw.
I care about Lily, about you, and about what’s best for both of you.
They’re just people from out of town. Who cares? ”
“But . . . why?”
The question rasped out of her, and I felt my stomach bottom out. Exactly how honest should I be with a sleep-deprived mother-of-a-newborn who stumbled, homeless, onto my new ranch while simultaneously running into a new life and out of an old one?
Because you make me feel things.
Because I’ve never wanted to be needed more in my life.
“Because I admire you,” I said firmly, “what you’re doing for Lily, and who you are. We’re the same, Noelle. I’m not the only one taking on responsibilities that weren’t mine at the outset. Someone’s gotta help us, too. We can help each other.”
Noelle let out a shaky breath, ran a hand over her messy hair, and met my eyes again. Less discomfort appeared in her expression, like I’d found common ground strong enough to reassure her.
“You mean it?”
“Wouldn’t say it if I didn’t.”
A wisp of a smile appeared. “Is that Cowboy Code, or something?”
“Cade Code.”
She nodded solemnly. She leaned against the wall, one hand pressed behind her. Her shoulders lowered as she breathed out.
“I’ll send them a text and invite them while I’m feeding Lily.” Her eyes rose to mine. “If you’re sure?”
I smiled.
“Never been more sure in my life.”
Noelle smiled in a lopsided way. “Thanks. I’ll let you know what they say. Since Lily is still sleeping, I’m going to head downstairs and sort through some of the boxes. Maybe we can start hauling junk out and clear space.”
I nodded, relieved to be on steady, mutual ground again. Our team project to improve the house gave us a stable spot to rest. A bunch of things that neither of us were ready to say had spilled out.
We both had nets, straining with words, with truths flopping free like desperate fish.