Chapter 15
Tate
I’m up on the hill that overlooks the ranch, lying in the grass and staring up at the sky. It’s a beautiful day. A day I would normally enjoy.
But instead, I’m staring up at the clouds, trying to quell the breaking of my heart.
I was so fucking stupid.
That’s the thought that keeps spiraling through my head.
Because I know better. Because I’ve been through this all before.
I was never in love with Fern’s mom, but I know I could have been if we’d tried.
And boy did I want to try. I wanted Katie and me and Fern to be the perfect family.
And when she walked away, I was mature about it and stuffed down my feelings and pretended that I would be good enough for Fern alone. For me alone.
And here I go getting my hopes up again for yet another woman to leave me.
Yet another woman to leave Fern.
That thought forces a lump to rise in my throat, and I work my jaw, biting back the tears.
It doesn’t matter now. It’ll be me and Fern from now on. Just us. I won’t risk our lives again like this. Besides, Fern has women in her life to look up. She has Mom. She has her Aunt Willow. That will have to be enough.
I shoot Mom a text telling her I won’t be home for dinner, and I end up lying here until the sun goes down.
But when I get up to leave, I don’t know where I’ll go.
I don’t want to go back to the ranch house.
I don’t think I can face Lucy yet. I know I’ll have to eventually, but I just can’t stomach it today.
I text Mom again asking her if she can watch Fern for the night and put her to bed.
I’ve worked late nights in the past, so Fern shouldn’t be too upset.
Besides, she can always sense the mood on me.
I need to get my feelings under control or she’ll pepper me about them or maybe even worry she’s done something wrong. I can’t have that.
But if I’m not going home, where am I going? I think about calling Jack or Levi and asking to stay with them, but I’m not in the mood for answering questions.
My phone buzzes, and I look down at a text.
Mom: Of course, I’ll put Fern to bed. But I talked with Lucy, and you need to hear her out.
I sigh. Mom is one who always sees the best in people, and I wonder if she had the full story if she’d feel the same way. I mean, did Lucy tell her she’s married? I doubt it.
I tuck my phone into my jeans pocket and hop into the back seat of my truck. It’s as good a home as any for the night.
I wake to multiple missed calls and texts from Lucy begging me to talk to her.
I groan as I sit up, my back screaming at me for sleeping in the back seat of my car.
Regret hits me like a bunch of bricks. Both because of the back pain I know I’ll be sporting for the next few days and also for ignoring Lucy.
Maybe I should have heard her out. Or at least talked with her.
After all, she’s still Fern’s nanny and we need to have some kind of relationship.
My heart twinges painfully, but I push it aside. From the looks of the morning sun, I should be starting work here soon. I decide to take the rest of the day to think things over and talk with her tonight.
Although work proves a bit harder than I’d anticipated. Apparently grief will do that to you.
Mom texts me throughout the day asking if I’ve talked with Lucy. I’m not sure why she’s so invested.
I pour myself into work, staying out a bit later than I normally would.
It’s after five, and I know I need to head home soon.
Fern’s probably wondering where I am. And Maisy needs to eat dinner.
I pat my horse on the neck from where I’m positioned on the saddle, and she snorts.
When my phone buzzes in my pocket and I see that it’s Mom, I immediately answer.
“Hey, is everything okay?” I ask immediately. Mom doesn’t usually call me during the day unless it’s about Fern.
“Fern’s fine,” Mom says quickly. “But I want to talk to you about Lucy.”