Chapter Eighteen
Jory stepped out into a bright and warm May morning. She had no idea if Calhoun was back from whatever odyssey he’d embarked on. Cross had been cryptic. Ryder had suggested Calhoun was pulling his head out of his ass—a lovely image that had made Jory laugh despite the unsettled business between them. But his text and the picture had reassured her that he was coming back.
She felt so alive and took a moment to stand in the early morning sun, tip her head back, close her eyes and lift her arms to embrace the deepening blue of the sky and the promise of warmth rising. It felt like that, even though she was waiting for news from the medical examiner and then weeks out—the state lab that was trying to verify DNA.
“That’s a beautiful sight.”
Jory’s eyes snapped open. Calhoun stood in front of her, Kai at his side. He looked a little disheveled—a few days of scruff, shadows under his eyes, deeper hollows on his cheeks, hair messy, rumbled shirt.
“That too is a beautiful sight,” she answered. “Kai anyway.”
“You’re not wrong.” His sideways smile tugged at her heart. “I probably smell. I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to catch you as soon as I could, so I drove all afternoon Sunday and night.”
“Did you go home?”
“It’s not home. Home is here. Wherever we make it.” He took a step closer to her. “You were right. I was running. I’ve been running my whole life. From my dad. From expectations. From my family’s history. Their legacy. Their money. The crap that I feared was inside of me.”
“Money?” She scrunched her nose. She took two steps forward and covered his hands with hers.
“There’s no crap in you, Calhoun. I was mad that you didn’t tell me everything you knew about my father and brother’s disappearance. I want us to be partners.”
“I know,” he said. “I was wrong. But I didn’t have the facts, only suspicions, and when I was on missions in the army, we operated on the intel we had, not what we wished we had.”
She nodded. It made sense. But that had to stop.
“I wanted to protect you.” He cupped her cheek with his rough palm. “You had a difficult childhood. You felt alone, abandoned, and I had this dumb idea that I could wipe it all away by finding out what had happened to your dad and brother. I never meant to hurt you.”
“I know, but you had a hard childhood too.”
She wished she could take that away from him, heal him like she felt she too was healing.
“But I’ll want to protect you again. It’s who I am,” he admitted like it was some sin she couldn’t forgive.
Jory stood on tiptoes to kiss his tense jaw, the one that reminded her of the craggy north side of Copper Mountain. “I know. And sometimes I’ll let you, but I want to protect you too.”
“I can try to let you.” He smiled at her, and she laughed.
“Big man’s going to try to let down his guard. Scary.”
“Very.” He nuzzled her.
“What did you say to your dad? Was it intense?” She wondered if they’d fought, yelled, and what she would say to her dad if she could have one last conversation with him.
“I thanked him.”
“What?” From the little Calhoun had told her, she’d pictured them having a contentious relationship. Two alphas circling.
“He taught me how I don’t want to live. He taught me how to be the opposite of what he is. I want to be a man who’s respected. Valued. Honest. Strong but compassionate. Worthy.”
“Loved,” she reminded him. “You’re all those things, Calhoun, and so much more.” She turned fully in to his strong body, laughing a little, when Kai tried to nudge between them. She let him.
“I want to change the rules,” he said wrapping his arms around her even though a few people were coming in and others coming out of the hospital staff doors.
“Whoohoo, Jory,” Rhianna yelled out and pumped her fist in the air.
“Sorry, I probably should have waited until you got home, but I was worried you’d left the house, that you didn’t believe I was coming back, or you didn’t want me to come back.”
“If you didn’t come back, I would have driven to California to find you. So what are these new rules?” she asked, wanting to hear him say it, even though she knew there were so many things they needed to talk about.
“First, I want all the strings,” he said resting his chin on her head. “Full disclosure, I’m kicking myself about being a dog with a bone about the Plan B—that’s how deep you’ve dug into my heart, Jory.”
Her smile felt like the sun fully rising. Calhoun’s scruff caught in her curls, and his tatted arms were strong around her. Kai pressing hard against them. Jory noticed a few staff taking a second look at them, but then looking quickly away, minding their own business, but she didn’t care because Calhoun had come back to her. He was her man, and she didn’t care who knew.
“Strings?” She tried to play it cool. “How many are we talking about?”
“A whole ball. I was such an idiot telling you we could have a no-strings affair. I wanted to protect myself even as I thought I was protecting you. But I was a liar. I love you, Jory.”
“That’s a pretty big string.” She tilted back and looked up at him. “If I say I love you too, then that’s another string.”
“Is this a hypothetical string?”
“You’re not the only one who’s been in emotional turtle mode.” She kissed his chest where she could feel his steady heartbeat.
Thank God.
“I have another string for you,” she said, nerves making her voice tight.
“Bring it on.”
“I’m late.”
“For what? Oh. Wow. Really? How do you feel?”
If she’d worried, the warmth in his eyes, the surprise morphing to pleasure and the way he lifted her off her feet to kiss her, dissipated her concerns instantly.
“Amazing. Happy. And pregnant. I took a test already, but technically it’s only five weeks so not much to do until eight weeks when I can get an appointment and we can confirm if we hear a heartbeat.”
“What do you need me to do?” He looked like Kai when he called him to head out on the next adventure, and she laughed.
“Just be you.”
“Not good enough.”
“You are what I want. You are what I need. And you are who I love, and I have another string if you are in the mood.”
“Baby, I am always in the mood to be tied up.”
“Sheesh.” She looked around. “Pervert. Another string. I accepted a full-time position on staff here. My shifts will be Sunday nights through Wednesday nights. I like night shifts, but I can eventually switch to days if we want.”
He reeled her in for another hug and she let him. “I should probably get you home for some shut-eye. I’m tired too.”
“I can tell.” She barely stifled her laugh as she felt his long length press against her. “Totally exhausted, and that’s another string for me.” She did a sensuous slide against him. “Let’s go home.”
“I’ll drive.”
“I will.” Jory took his keys. “I always wanted to drive a big sexy truck, and you’ve been driving for hours. You can tell me more about your meeting with your dad on the way.”
“I’d rather never think of him again,” Calhoun said. “I have much more pleasurable things on my mind.”
“You can tell me about those then.” Jory unlocked his truck, casting a look at her lonely Subaru, but she didn’t want to be without Calhoun for the time it would take to drive home. “I love a good story.”
“More like a news report,” Calhoun said. “Or maybe something more like an online porn site. I’ve missed you.”
“I can tell.” Jory opened the door for Kai, and then looked at Calhoun’s very obvious erection. “But none of that.” She escaped his arms and ran to the driver’s side of the truck. “You are powerfully distracting, and I don’t want to drive into a ditch.”
They climbed in and closed the doors. She started the engine, and he took her hand in his. “I will behave,” he promised, kissing each finger, but the look in his eyes set fire to her blood. “But I’d encourage you to get a move on because the moment we’re home, I plan to show you how much I love you and how much I’ve missed you and how excited I am to start on our future.”
“Calhoun,” she whispered, emotion sweeping over her. “Me too.”
“Prove it,” he said. “Drive.”
*
The following Sunday,the sun shone brightly as Jory placed a bouquet of wildflowers in a vase at the base of the bronze and copper grave marker statuette Sky Wilder had created to commemorate her father and Josiah. Their bodies had been released by the medical examiner a couple of days ago, and Calhoun had helped Jory arrange the burial in the town cemetery.
The service had been private, just Jory, Calhoun and her mother and oma who’d arrived last night and were staying at the house but didn’t plan to stay for a long visit. Her mom was still coming to terms with the confirmation that her husband and son were dead and also not feeling comfortable at the house.
“I’m moving on,” she whispered, hugging Jory when she’d offered to book them rooms at the Graff instead. “Finally. And I need to keep going forward.”
Jory was sad her mom didn’t want to stay, but she didn’t push for more time. She’d book them a flight home tomorrow. Maybe it was the best for now. Jory too wanted to focus on happy things—Calhoun, the baby, getting a puppy in a week, her new job, developing friendships and purchasing her old house and five acres from the Telfords. She was also excited by the progress the Coyote Cowboys were making on establishing their business.
Over the past week, they’d had several meetings at the house, developing a business plan, divvying up jobs, researching. They’d even hired a lawyer and had pooled their money to make an offer on ten acres of land and outbuildings near the house, which would serve as their business’s home base. They’d contacted Sky Wilder to make them a sign to span the new entrance to the property, and she had encouraged them to help with the design, and join her in the studio so they could each participate in the creation.
The men were of course pumped. It had seemed premature to make a sign without the business plan in place or financials finished, and yet the name and the making of the sign had energized all of them.
McBride Coyote Adventures.
Jory loved the name.
Calhoun wrapped his arm around her shoulders as they and Jory’s mom and oma stood silently at the two graves for several minutes. No one cried. Jory felt like she was still too stunned to process, but rather than a grim affair, it was becoming a bit of a party because Calhoun had pushed her to host a celebration of life. She’d hesitated, not sure who would come. No one had cared when her father had disappeared, but Calhoun, holding her late in the night, his hand on her still-washboard abs had whispered encouraging words.
“Okay?” he asked, kissing her temple.
“Yes, surprisingly.” She frowned a little at the fresh earth that would be flattened and covered with sod as soon as they left. “And it feels a little weird, like maybe disrespectful to be having a party with friends they didn’t even know, and to be looking forward to the party,” she whispered, poking him in his rock-hard stomach. “That’s your bad influence.”
He caught her finger and brought it to his mouth. He nibbled.
“No one had closure, Jory. Now you, your mom and others in town and our friends can.”
She listened, taking comfort in his voice and words.
“You’re becoming a part of the community again on your own terms, but also with me and with the others when we get our business up and running. You have friends now. They’ll want to support you. Let them.”
“I’ve never thrown a party in my life.”
His shoulders shook as he repressed a laugh. “I believe your orders were to leave it to me.”
“Orders?” She raised a brow. “And I know for a fact you outsourced.”
“All good team leaders do,” he said.
“The celebration was a good idea,” Jory admitted, skewing a glance at her mom, who was praying softly at the grave site.
Her mom had made two cards—Jory had forgotten that her mom had loved to sketch using charcoal, pastels and fine pens. She’d written messages and had had the cards put in the coffins without showing Jory what she’d said.
Her mom continued to be an enigma to her, and Jory vowed that if she was blessed with a child, the child would know her heart.
This morning though she’d seen her mom texting while drinking coffee on the porch, and she’d confessed that she’d become friendly with a neighbor, who’d asked her out several times, but she’d still felt married. Now that she knew she wasn’t, she’d been thinking she’d maybe take another chance at love.
It was the closest Jory had felt to her mother in years, and she contemplated sharing her pregnancy news but decided against it. It was too early, and Calhoun respected her decision.
The four of them drove back to the house, Kai sitting between her mom and oma and becoming a bit of a pillow for both of them as they leaned against him and stoked his fur and burying their faces against his strong neck—likely trying to hide their tears. Jory was cried out and beyond ready to find a way to honor her dad and brother and yet move out of the shadows. Hopefully the celebration of life would help her mother and oma as well.
“Big day. Feeling okay?” Calhoun asked leading her out into the front yard and playing with one of her curls while they waited for their guests to arrive. Kai pressed against her as well, caging her in, and his acceptance and support made Jory happier than she’d ever imagined possible.
“I feel peaceful and yet excited,” she said thoughtfully, “and hopeful. Maybe that’s weird after such an emotional morning.”
“There’s no right way to feel,” Calhoun mused, kissing the top of her head. “Since seeing my father again, I’ve felt the gamut—sad, calm, pissed at myself for wasting so much time with anger and regret. But I have closure now and am fired up about our future, like it’s Miracle Lake, and I can’t wait to jump in.”
Jory laughed.
“You and the other Coyotes are going to regret that part of your ritual to honor Jace next weekend on Memorial Day,” she warned. “Even on the hottest day of summer the lake is so cold it steals your breath.”
“Then why did the women all agree to join us?”
“The women.” Jory pushed at him. “Caveman. Like we’re a monolith you’re going to etch your claim on using dye from berries.”
“No. I’m carving in ‘mine’ deep.”
“Beat your chest, while you do that. It’s sexy.”
“I aim to please, but I’m more intrigued by your chest.”
“Perve. These are temporary. I’m sure I’ll be back to pancake status after the baby’s born so don’t get too attached.”
“I’m very attached to you at any size.” He nuzzled her slightly swollen, achy breasts, making her nipples peak. “But don’t think you need to start wearing a bra now.”
“If I have something to support, I am wearing a bra, sheesh. This is a small town. Conservative. No one wants a doctor whose boobs bounce.”
“I do.”
She laughed again, marveling that she’d laughed more in the month that she’d known Calhoun than she had her whole life, maybe. She wrapped her arm around his neck and sighed, one hand drifting down to her still very flat abdomen. “It’s so strange,” she mused, lacing her fingers in his hair, and giving him access to her body by arching. “I look the same. We don’t have our first appointment with the OBGYN for two more weeks, but I feel so different inside. More alive. And yet today is dedicated to celebrating the dead.”
“This brunch is dedicated to celebrating the lives of the dead. Death and life are inextricably linked and once the Coyote Cowboys, LLC, paperwork goes through and our purchase of the ten acres and the house and barns for the business closes escrow, you will be officially stuck with me,” Calhoun practically gloated. “We will be tied together physically, emotionally and legally. You’re in deep, Jory. Forever.”
She smiled. This week she’d been stressing that Calhoun was going to pull a ring box out dramatically in front of everyone, and she’d be too choked up and red to answer, but he hadn’t. She was relieved, not wanting him to marry her because of the baby or because they were buying a house or he was starting a business.
“I might need a reminder,” she mused.
He frowned.
“I was thinking about how you’re planning out a design for two new tattoos—one honoring me and the other for the new company you and the Coyotes are launching, and I thought I should get in on that. I like color and art and the idea of you permanently in my life, so I’ve been thinking about dipping my toe in and getting my first ink.”
“After the baby,” he said quickly, and she smiled.
“My man, so protective, but I’ll definitely wait until after.”
“Of course, Doctor.” He was still nuzzling her neck, and nipped a little, and heat shot straight to her core.
How did he do that? “None of that. We have guests coming.”
Kai’s ears cocked and he turned.
“There’s going to be a lot more of that, but I’ll behave for now because if I don’t, I’m going to want to really go caveman and haul you back to the house.”
It thrilled her how much he desired her.
“This celebration was your idea,” she reminded him.
The cars started arriving, and Jory teared up as more people spilled out of them than she’d anticipated. Everyone, it seemed, had brought something—potluck dishes, tablecloths, service items, coolers, flowers and vases and other decorations. Jory felt awed by the words of support, the hugs and how in a short time the front yard was looking quite festive. Two cowboys had even strung party lights in the oak tree, while two others set up a sound system.
Rhianna arrived and ran to hug Jory and introduce her family.
“I’m so happy you’re staying,” she whispered fiercely. “You belong here. You’re Marietta, Jory. I’m happy you’re home.”
Then Rhianna and a few others from the hospital jumped in to pull the last picnic tables stored in the barn out into the sun, cover them with festive tablecloths and organize the food. Jory was awed by the flurry of activity Shane and Willow and Gin were directing, while she all but clung to Calhoun.
I want to be like that.
A helper. A doer. Someone who belongs. Someone friends and the community can count on.
Baby steps.
And then Sam Gallagher arrived holding a squirming puppy, and Jory ran to her, arms outstretched, while Calhoun paced at her side.
“Surprise,” he said softly. “I didn’t want you to have to wait another week being practical.”
Jory held the pup, laughing and crying as he licked her face.
“Do you have a name picked out?” Sam asked.
“Bean,” Calhoun said with a straight face, “because Jory’s obsessed with coffee.”
“Who’s not?” Sam smiled.
“Latte,” Jory corrected, holding the wiggling, licking puppy out so she could see all of him. “He’s perfect.”
“You’re perfect.” Calhoun kissed her and then put the puppy on the grass so he could meet Kai.
Latte showed no fear and began trying to climb over Kai’s muzzle as he sniffed his fill of the new arrival.
“What if I’d stayed in my room that night at the Graff?” Jory demanded as Calhoun took her hand to walk toward their guests. “What if we’d never met?”
“You were ready to make a change in your life, Jory. You were seizing the reins, and I’m lucky enough I was the first cowboy you saw.”
“If we had to rely on my roping skills, we’d still be fumbling through our first awkward hellos,” she reminded him.
She watched Kai nose Latte in their direction.
“Built-in babysitter,” Calhoun joked.
She hadn’t been sure how to feel about having so many guests over so soon, especially when she’d had no idea how emotional she’d be feeling or how her mom would handle the moment.
But her mom and oma had joined the group and chatted, and Jory even saw a smile or two.
“You made this happen,” she murmured to Calhoun, remembering how isolated and alienated she’d felt when she’d arrived back in Marietta. “This moment’s like a dream and yet it’s my life.”
“It’s only going to get better, J.”
“I love you, Big O.”
Calhoun squeezed her hand three times, his code for I love you when they were in public, and she smiled and let him lead her toward a group of his friends. He was still a bit of a soldier with his ink and his secret codes, but as she watched him join in the conversation, his body strong, warm and solid next to her, his Stetson shading his features, he was all cowboy. Hers.