Chapter 23 Cora
Chapter twenty-three
Cora
Istare out the window as we begin our silent drive home. The initial relief of passing the interview and getting to stay has been somewhat short lived. While it’s still there, it’s been overshadowed by something bigger and heavier and … scarier.
Because what happens now? Between me and Theo. Between all our friends. My home at Thatcher Ranch.
At some point along the drive, Theo’s low voice pulls me from my thoughts. “You want to stop by that Thai place on the way back?”
I clear my throat before shaking my head. “No. I’m not hungry.”
“You sure?” There’s a pause, then, “I didn’t see you at lunch.”
“I had a protein bar,” I lie. The truth is, I’ve been too nervous all day to eat. And now … well, I don’t even know what I feel. All I know is that I can’t eat.
Theo nods.
“If you want to stop and get yourself something, though—” I start.
“I can eat at home,” he says quickly.
Silence overtakes the cab again. I find myself lost in the passing greenery as the hour-long drive scoots by. When we reach Cedar Ridge, I catch sight of the courthouse where we got married, Rick’s bar where we kissed under the lights, the grocery store where we bought our wedding cake.
As Theo turns down his road, I can feel him glance my way. “Cora?” His voice is softer than usual, hesitant, confused. When I don’t immediately reply, he continues, “You’re crying.”
I instinctively reach up, feeling a familiar dampness on my cheeks. I hastily wipe it away in surprise. But it’s as if my realization only encourages the tears more, because they come in earnest now.
“Cora,” Theo says again—it’s a question, a comfort, a plea.
I shake my head, turning away to desperately hide my tears, regardless of how futile it is. They’re pouring down my cheeks now, and I’m gasping for air as the neighborhood blurs past us.
Theo pulls into his driveway, immediately parking the car and turning to me. “What’s wrong?” he demands.
But I can’t talk to him now. I can’t. I don’t even know what’s going on inside of me. So I simply open the car door and jump out.
But Theo’s faster, and he rounds the front of the car, standing between me and the house. “What happened?” he asks, reaching for me. “Did I—did I do something?” he stammers.
But I’m sidestepping him, still relentlessly wiping tears from my cheeks as I storm toward the front door.
Theo trails after me, slamming the door behind us and rushing after me up the stairs. “Talk to me, Cora,” he begs, and at the top of the stairs, he finally catches me, grabbing my arm and whirling me around. “Talk to me,” he repeats, his eyes desperate. “Please.”
Looking up at him, his blue eyes laced with concern, only makes it worse, and the tears fall harder.
“Jesus, Cora,” Theo murmurs, his hands moving to cup my face, his thumb brushing tears from my eyes.
“Tell me what I did. How I can fix it. How I can make it right.” When I don’t immediately reply, he goes on.
“I’m sorry.” He’s shaking his head, and then, hesitantly, he presses a soft kiss to my forehead.
“Whatever it is, I’m sorry,” he breathes against my skin.
A sob bubbles up my throat, and I step back, breaking our contact. And Theo looks … fuck, Theo looks so devastated, my heart breaks into a million pieces. “It’s not you,” I cry, the words barely audible.
He shakes his head in confusion, opening his mouth to speak, but I beat him to it.
“I’m so scared, Theo,” I whisper, and if it’s possible, he somehow looks even more broken than before.
“Of what?” he asks quietly. “Whatever it is, I’ll fix it. If this was too much, a bad idea, if I made you uncomfortable, I … I’ll leave the ranch, Cora.”
His comment stops me in my tracks, shocks me enough to stop the flow of tears. “What?” I squeak.
“I won’t take your home away from you,” he says simply. “If this marriage ruined our friendship, scared you, then I’ll leave.”
Suddenly I can’t breathe. I try to suck in a breath, but it’s simply not enough. “No,” I say. “No, no, you can’t do that.”
His eyebrows knit together in confusion.
“Theo,” my voice cracks, “I’m not scared of you, I’m …” I wrap my arms around my body as if that will somehow quell the emotions within me. “I’m scared because I love you.” The words tumble out of me, so true that I cry harder.
For a long moment, Theo simply stares at me blankly. He opens his mouth, closes it, and then says, “What?”
The tears are hot and fast, and there’s no stopping them.
“I’m scared because this—all of this—is too good to be true.
” My voice breaks. “Just like having a dad who loves me, a mom who isn’t sick, and a family who I love.
” I can’t even see now through the tears, but it doesn’t matter because my hands move to my face, and I collapse in on myself, still standing, but hunched.
I’m ugly crying now—there’s no hiding it. But there’s no quelling it either.
I’m barely aware of Theo stepping closer, and then his hands are on my wrists, gently pulling them away from my face. I resist at first, sure that my eyes are puffy and red and utterly embarrassing, but he eventually wins out.
“Too good as in what?” he asks gently. “That I’d leave?”
I can’t speak anymore, so I simply nod. “Eventually,” I whisper.
Something akin to pain flashes across Theo’s face, and his grip on my wrists hardens.
“Cora,” he says slowly, “I don’t think I can put into words how desperately, stupidly in love with you I am.
” He says the words simply, like he’s stating the weather or the time of day, but there’s an intensity in his eyes that I’ve never seen before.
“You are the first and last thought in my head every day. I spend all my time thinking about you, about what you might think about me, whether you even see me at all … and even so, I don’t think there’s anything you could ever do to make me stop loving you.
It’s baked into me so deeply now … I don’t think there’s ever a chance of me getting rid of it. ”
My tears have been shocked into submission, drying on my cheeks as Theo’s words slowly sink into my brain.
“The idea of me ever leaving you …” Theo’s gaze dips from my eyes to my lips and back. “God, Cora, if you give me just the tiniest ounce of anything, I’ll take it. I’ll spend my life on my knees begging you for whatever you’ll give me.”
And suddenly it all clicks into place. The ranch, the Thatchers, my friends, Montana. All the things I’d thought made this place my home.
But that was never really true. Not in its entirety.
No. It was the man who introduced himself on my first day at Thatcher Ranch, who gave me a tour of the property, helped me settle in, sat with me at lunchtime, helped me move my things, laughed at my jokes, became my best friend.
Montana felt like home … because of Theo.
“I’m so sorry.” They’re the only words that feel right in this moment, as I break my wrists free of Theo’s grasp and reach for him, gently cupping his cheek.
Worry flashes across his face before he asks, “For what?”
My gaze dips to his lips. “For being the biggest idiot on the planet.” And then I kiss him.
For a moment, he seems too shocked to kiss back, and then it’s as if he loses all control. His hands move to my hips, walking me backward until my back hits the wall, and then he’s pressing his body against mine, hard, firm, commanding.
Our tongues dance together, and his fingers dig into my hips. He breaks our kiss to murmur, “Fuck, Cora, does that mean what I think it means?”
I can’t help the giggle that bubbles up my throat, strained from the tears still streaming down my face. “That I wanna keep being your wife? Yeah.”
“Jesus,” he breathes against my neck, his fingers digging deeper into my flesh. “I love you,” he murmurs, kissing my skin softly. “I love you,” he says again, moving to gently nibble my ear.
I sigh, my eyes fluttering closed as I snake my arms around his neck and tangle my fingers in his hair. “I love you too.” It’s the first time I’ve really said it, and it feels right on my tongue.
Theo pulls back just far enough to look me in the eyes. “Say it again,” he demands.
“I love you,” I repeat, and his eyes darken with desire.
“Fuck,” he groans, and he removes his hands from my waist just long enough to unbuckle his belt and get to work on his jeans. “Take those off,” he instructs, nodding to my pants. I do as he says, hastily slipping out of them, and then he says, “Underwear too.”
And when we’re both bare, Theo hooks his arms under my thighs, pulling me up.
My legs wrap around his waist, and he pins me to the wall with his body, his arousal hot and hard against my core.
I wriggle against him, desperate to have him inside me.
He seems just as desperate, because he reaches down between us, positioning himself at my entrance before swiftly sliding inside of me.
I cry out as he fills me, and Theo buries his face in my neck. “Yeah, darling,” he murmurs. “Take me.” He thrusts into me hard, and I whimper. “Take your husband’s cock.”
Arousal shoots through me, and I grind my hips against him, although I don’t have much control being wedged against the wall like this.
Theo’s fingers grip the undersides of my thighs as he fucks me—because that’s the only way to describe what he’s doing.
Fucking. He’s thrusting into me hard and fast and relentless, as if getting closer to me is the only thing keeping him from starving.
I cling to him for dear life, feeling my pleasure rise and rise.
He’s hitting every delicious spot inside of me, and I’m squirming and wining and gasping for air.
“Touch yourself,” he demands. “Your clit, your tits, whatever will get you off,” he clarifies. “I want to feel my wife’s pussy come on my cock.”
I snake a hand between us, finding my clit and rubbing softly. I moan, my head falling back against the wall.
“That’s it,” Theo praises, pumping harder. He grips my thighs tighter, hoisting me up higher. “Pull up your shirt,” he commands, and with my free hand, I do. “Bra too, darling,” he instructs. I’m only wearing a bralette today, and the fabric is easy to stretch up and over my breasts.
Immediately, Theo lowers his head, running a tongue over my bare skin, my nipple hardening under his touch. I moan, arching my back as he sucks my nipple into his mouth, nibbling softly. I whimper as he moves to my other breast, licking and sucking and working me up.
My breath is ragged as I continue to rub my clit, building my orgasm up second by second.
My moans are high-pitched now, and Theo is whispering praises against my skin, egging me on.
“God, you’re so perfect,” he murmurs, and stars dance before my eyes.
I cry out, my legs shaking and my head falling back.
“Theo,” I whine as my climax rushes through me. He groans into my neck, pumping harder a few times before stilling, breathing heavily as he empties himself into me. I rest my head on his shoulder as we recover, and he slowly lowers me to the ground.
For a second, we just stand there, staring at each other with stupid grins on our faces. And finally, Theo plants a kiss to my cheek before saying, “I like you this way.”
I laugh. “What, half naked?”
He snorts, shaking his head. “No. My wife.”