19. Amelia
Amelia
“What do you mean?” I ask Nino as he stares into his coffee cup like it holds all the answers in the world.
“I have to do this,” he says without looking at me.
“I don’t understand. Why?”
He taps the ring on his index finger against the side of the ceramic mug as he lifts his gaze to me. “I need something more. I want it. Life has been too dull, M. I need some adventure before I’m old.”
“There’s enough adventure in the city,” I argue, but I’m not being truthful. I totally understand what he’s saying and why he wants to go, but that doesn’t make it easier for me to accept. “You can’t leave me now. I’m going to have a baby.”
“I’ll be back before then.”
I cross my arms over my chest, unable to stop myself from pouting. “I don’t believe you.”
Nino and I are the only ones out of our cousins who don’t have any siblings.
He is the only one who understands what that means, how it feels.
Sure, we have a ton of cousins, but being an only child is something entirely different that no one else in our generation could ever begin to understand. And now…he is leaving me.
“Babe, you have everyone else. You’ll be okay,” he says.
“But I won’t have you.”
I’m being ridiculous and dramatic. Maybe it’s the hormones or the sliver of pain deep in my chest at the thought of losing him that has me spiraling more than usual.
“We can video chat,” he offers, like somehow that’s as good as his being at my side.
“Why now?” I ask, dropping a hand to my stomach. “With the baby on the way, I thought you’d be around to help me.”
Nino chuckles as he pats my hand next to him on the table. “I’m shit with kids, M. You know that. You have a baby daddy and everyone else to help. The last thing you need is a perpetual bachelor with commitment issues babysitting.”
“When do you leave?”
“In two days.”
My eyes widen. “Two days? That’s all the notice I get? What about everyone else?”
“I booked my ticket yesterday. It’s not like I’ve had a lot of time to alert the family. My parents know, and I’m heading to see Grandma and Grandpa after this. Other than that, I don’t want to make a big deal out of it. It’s an extended vacation, not a brand-new life.”
“Sure,” I mutter. That’s what they all say until they meet the person of their dreams who lives on the opposite side of the world. “Where are you going first?”
“I’m heading back to the homeland. Going to do historical research into our families and walk in the footsteps of our ancestors.”
“And then you’re coming back?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “That’s the first stop. I’m going to visit every country in Europe and then figure out my next step.”
I suck in a breath, realizing he’s really going to be gone forever. “I’m going to miss you.”
“You won’t have time to miss me. You have a husband and a baby on the way. You’re going to be too busy to even notice my absence.”
“I’ll never be too busy to miss you.”
“Geez, M. You’re really making me feel guilty about this. My parents didn’t even make me feel this bad.”
“I’m sorry, but also, not sorry. You’re leaving me. Me, Nino. You’re one of my best friends.” I sound so needy, but I can’t help it. I always thought he’d be here…with me.
“I’ll be back before you know it,” he promises as the door to the bakery opens, and a group of women walks in. “Go. Take care of them. I’m going to run. I have to pack.”
I stand as he does, my vision blurring. Don’t cry, Amelia. He’ll be back. I repeat those words to myself until I believe every single one of them. “I love you,” I tell him as I let him wrap his arms around me.
“I’ll miss you,” he says.
I hold on to him like he’s about to disappear in the middle of our embrace. “I’m going to miss you too. Don’t forget about us.”
“Never,” he whispers as he pulls back, practically peeling me off him.
I gaze over my shoulder at the group of women at the counter. “Can I…” I start to say as I turn back toward Nino, but he’s not there. It’s as if he vanished into thin air.
Jerk.
I can’t believe he ran out of here like his ass was on fire the moment I looked away. He hates long, drawn-out goodbyes almost as much as he hates seeing a woman cry. I should’ve known he’d slip out the first chance he got.
Typical Nino.
I’m covered in flour, and no matter how much I wash my hands, I can still feel the gritty residue on my skin. “Lookin’ hot, mama,” a man says from behind me.
I spin around, finding Reed filling the doorway of the bakery. And damn it, the man looks better than ever. “You’re back already?” I ask, placing my hand on my chest, feeling my heart beat rapidly under my palm.
The man wasn’t gone more than a few days. I thought he was joking when he said he was going to tell his family and come right back.
“Such a warm reception,” he says, using his knuckle to push back his signature cowboy hat.
He wears the damn thing so well too. It’s aggravating. In Vegas, I found it charming and a little ridiculous, but here, in Chicago, it’s making him stick out like a sore thumb.
“You’re going to need to ditch that.” I point toward his head. “You look like a tourist.”
“I am. At least, in this moment, but that changes tonight.”
“Tonight?” I ask with a raised eyebrow as I drop both my hands back to my sides. “What’s tonight?”
“I have an appointment to view an apartment in your building,” he says, like we’re talking about the weather and not something as life-altering as my baby’s father becoming my new neighbor. “And want to know something even better?”
“What?” I ask, still processing the news that he’s going to live so close.
“It’s the apartment next door to yours.” He smirks when he says that to me, as if he knows it’s going to annoy me and he’s taking pleasure in it.
“Wouldn’t you like the building next door? The units are much nicer,” I tell him, placing my hands on the countertop, trying to steady myself.
My head is spinning with all the ways this could go wrong. He’s clearly a temptation. Even when I have control of my own actions, my body wants him. It’s how we ended up in this mess to begin with.
“No, sugar. The place is furnished too. Unless it’s filled with cockroaches, I’m signing the lease tonight.”
It could be worse. He could be asking to stay with me. Married or not, I’m not ready for that step. “Well, that…” I don’t know how to finish the sentence. The man keeps surprising me and not necessarily in a good way either.
“Man, this place smells amazing,” he says, crossing the customer area in a few long strides. “Which one is your favorite?”
I walk slowly to stand on the other side of the dessert case across from him, unable to tear my gaze away from him. “The crème br?lée cupcake.”
“I’ll take all of them,” he says, his eyes flickering to me for a brief moment.
My stomach flutters as soon as his eyes meet mine. I hate the effect he has on me. My body continues to betray me at every turn when it comes to this handsome cowboy. “There are eight.”
“I know. I can count. I still want them all.”
“But I wanted to take one home.”
The smile on his face tells me everything I need to know about his motives. “Well, if you want one, you can walk on over, neighbor.”
I smile back. “It’s okay. We’ll make more tomorrow.”
“When you’re craving one later, you know where to find them.”
“I won’t,” I say quickly.
“No?” he asks with a raised eyebrow.
I shake my head. “I crave salty things more than sweet.”
“I’ll stock the cupboards with chips and pickles too, then.”
“No need. I have my own stockpile, and I’d rather keep our relationship as separate as possible.”
“Separate?” he asks, drawing his head back like I’ve struck him. “Kind of too late for that.”
“Going forward, at least,” I say, grabbing a box from under the counter, wanting to give him anything he wants if it means he’ll leave sooner.
My feet are killing me, and my back isn’t being kind either. All I want to do is kick my feet up on the couch and binge some salacious reality series. Every day, I can see my body changing on the outside, and by the amount of discomfort I feel, I know it’s affecting the inside too.
“How about we take it all one day at a time?” he offers.
I set the last cupcake in the box and seal it up without answering him. I’ve always had shit resolve, but being around Reed makes my ability to form rational thoughts even harder.
“My answer will still be no.” Of course, my voice isn’t strong when I say those words. I’m sure Reed doesn’t believe them, because I don’t, and I’m the one who said them. I place the box of cupcakes on the counter for him. “They’re on the house.”
He reaches into his pocket, never breaking eye contact with me as he peels off a twenty from a wad of cash. “I got them,” he says after setting the money down on the counter next to the box.
“It’s not enough,” I tell him, grabbing the bill even though we no longer accept cash. I want this interaction to be over as quickly as possible and for him to leave. “Everything’s more in Chicago than South Dakota. You’d better get used to it.”
Without a moment’s hesitation, he sets another twenty on the counter. “Good enough?”
I grab the second twenty. “Let me get your change.”
“No. It’s a tip,” he says, grabbing the box off the counter as soon as he stuffs the rest of the money back in his pocket.
He opens the box, takes out a cupcake, and devours half of it in one bite. “This is amazing,” he says, licking the extra icing off his lips in an aggravatingly slow way.
My gaze follows the movement of his tongue, and I go weak in the knees, as if my body remembers the feel of him even if my mind doesn’t. I have to hold on to the counter so I don’t collapse.
The smirk that spreads across his face tells me he knows exactly what he’s doing and how it affects me.
“See you tonight,” he says before he turns around and walks toward the door.
“Don’t hold your breath,” I call out when I finally find my voice again. But it’s too late. He’s already outside, stalking away with his head held high, like he did exactly what he wanted, and I acted exactly how he expected.