Chapter 29
Catherine
“Hey, beautiful,” Hayes said as I entered his room. He patted the spot on the bed beside him. “Did you get everything you needed?”
Hayes was protective of his space. Whenever we slept together—which hadn’t happened recently—it was in my room.
“Yeah,” I said as I hesitantly climbed onto his bed. “Hallie and I stopped by the Moo Brew for coffee, and I asked Jeremiah if he and Mike would bring the trailer out here for the grand opening. He said yes.”
“Of course he did,” Hayes said as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
“And then I told him about the summer program that the Elias family is sponsoring with their grant, and he and Mike volunteered to provide box lunches for all the kids who show up.”
Hallie had gone with me to pick up one last load of supplies for the Learning Cottage.
My new refrigerator was installed. The incubators now had homes on the beautiful countertops Mason had put in.
I had a state-of-the-art hydroponic growing system, thanks to a generous donation from Adeline and Beckett Fairchild, and newly cultivated gardens where neat rows of fall crops had been planted.
The Elias family had been thrilled to hear about the project during the owners’ luncheon and had provided a two-year grant from their charitable foundation that would allow me to pay teachers to run the program over the summer while they were out of a paycheck.
Hayes’s brows lifted. “That’s incredible.”
“Being able to provide free lunches during the summer when kids can’t get lunch at school will be huge.
It’ll make it easier on families that face food insecurity during the summer.
We’ll be giving their kids a safe place to go when school isn’t in session and making sure they’re fed.
” I was practically bouncing on top of the bed.
“Honey Hollow doesn’t have as many resources as bigger towns or cities, so this is going to be huge for the town. ”
His smile grew. “I love seeing you like this.”
“Like what?”
“Excited. Driven. Passionate.” He cupped my face. “It’s a good look on you.”
Blush tinged my cheeks as I leaned into his touch.
As hurt as I was, I was missing him. That was something new to me—wanting someone even after they did you wrong. I had a hunch it was because Hayes was truly sorry. I could feel it in my bones. But he was showing that he respected my space as I worked through that lingering hurt.
I opened my mouth to respond, but my phone rang.
“Sorry,” I muttered as I pulled it out of my back pocket and glanced at the screen.
I didn’t recognize the number. “Darlene Elias said she passed on my information to a woman named Heidi who heads up the after-school program that’s run by the charitable organization of the football team they own.
This is probably her.” I swiped across the screen to answer. “Hello?”
“Hello, Catherine.”
I froze as the voice from press conference clips from the news echoed in my ear. It was far too upbeat, as if my father were trying to pretend that nothing had happened.
I swallowed and looked at Hayes. “Governor Grant.”
Hayes’s expression morphed from tender to rage. I quickly put the call on speaker so he could hear too.
“There’s no need to be so formal,” he said with a politician’s insincere chuckle. “Call me Maxwell. Or Dad, if you’d prefer.”
Something about hearing him refer to himself as “Dad” made unease prickle across my skin. My chest tightened as acid roiled in my stomach.
Hayes wrapped his hand around mine and squeezed.
“I—um…I’m sorry. I was expecting this call to be from someone else,” I stammered when I couldn’t find the right words.
“That’s alright. I’m sure you’re busy. What with the launch of your social initiative coming up.”
“You know about that?” I blurted out.
Hayes’s jaw locked in a stern frown.
“Of course, sweetheart. I stay up-to-date on things happening in my state. Especially since my daughter became a Wilder.”
I swooned every time Hayes called me sweetheart. It was tender and loving. Hearing it from my father made my head spin with nausea and anxiety. I had always craved hearing my father call me his daughter, but it didn’t sound the way I had always imagined it would.
I wanted to throw up. Saliva filled my mouth, acid burned my throat, and my skin turned clammy. “Yes, things are very busy,” I clipped as heat seared my eyes. I did not want to cry over him, but I wasn’t sure my body was going to heed the request.
“I’d love to be at the grand opening. It’s next week, right?”
It was everything I had ever wanted and something I wanted nothing to do with all at the same time.
Each word was a knife to the gut. Slice after slice, he ripped into me without even trying. Tears rolled down my cheeks, one after the other. Hayes silently slid behind me, wrapped me up in his arms, and pressed a kiss to my head.
I wanted to tell the governor that he wasn’t welcome at the grand opening, but a bigger part of me wanted to be right. I wanted to believe that the father figure I had painted in my mind existed somewhere behind the politician’s mask. That the man who was supposed to want me actually did.
“I can send over the event information to your office if you’d like,” I said.
“Great!” he exclaimed. “Susan would like to come and meet you if that’s alright. Our kids too, though I’m not sure if they’ll be able to make it.”
Hayes stiffened.
Hope grew like morning glories, wrapping around my heart and blossoming with each sunbeam of attention.
“I’d like that,” I cautiously admitted.
His voice turned serious. “There is one more thing, Catherine. As I’m sure you know, the media isn’t being too kind to me.
The…information your husband acquired paints me in a rather unfortunate light.
It’d be great if the three of us could sit down and have a chat.
I’m sure there will be press at your event.
How great would it be for the three of us and my wife to show a united front as one big, happy family?
Perhaps you and your husband could even make a statement of support on behalf of the Wilder Estate.
I’m sure you’ll need additional funding for your program in the future. I can make that happen.”
“Unbelievable.” The whispered word slipped out before I could stop it. He hadn’t even tried to deny the allegations, because he didn’t care.
He truly didn’t care.
He was simply willing to do whatever it took to get exactly what he wanted. Just like he had to all those women. Just like he had when he offered Hayes political favors in exchange for support.
Hayes reached for my phone, but I waved him off. This was my battle to fight, but I wasn’t going to fight it. I was done.
“That won’t be necessary, Governor Grant.”
“So, you’ll consider a statement of support?” he pressed.
“No. It won’t be necessary for you to contact me again.” And with that, I hung up on the man who had fathered me.
Hayes immediately scooped me up into his arms and held me as I cried. I hadn’t even moved my finger off the end call button.
“I’m so sorry, Cath,” he murmured as he held me against his chest and sheltered me in his arms. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
I clung to him, trembling, as sobs shook me to the bone.
Hayes murmured unnecessary apologies as he pressed his lips to my cheek and temple, kissing away the tears.
I choked as twenty-five years of hope and yearning began to crumble. Twenty-five years of “what ifs” and “if onlys.”
If only I were good enough for him.
What if he had chosen me?
If only I were wanted.
“It hurts,” I admitted in a strangled cry.
Hayes held me tighter. “I know.”
“I’m tired,” I said through aching gasps for air. “I’m so fucking tired.”
Hayes cradled my head against his chest. “Rest.”
I sniffed and tried to wipe away each tear that tracked down my face, but they just kept coming. “Go on. Say it.”
“Say what?” he murmured as he rubbed my back.
“I told you so.”
Hayes cradled my jaw in his hands and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I’m not doing that.”
“You should.”
The tip of his nose brushed along the bridge of mine. “You’re sacred to me. I turned my life upside down to protect this land, and you’re infinitely more precious. Just imagine what I’ll do to protect you.”
“I’m sorry,” I croaked.
Hayes peered down. “Why on earth are you sorry, sweetheart?”
“Because he was exactly who you showed him to be,” I whimpered. “And I didn’t want to believe you. I wanted to—”
“You wanted to have hope,” Hayes said softly. “Because you still have hope. Sometimes hope fucking hurts. But that hope is the most beautiful thing about you.”
My tears soaked the soft cotton of his white T-shirt. There was only one place I wanted to be, and I was already there.
I didn’t think you fell in love with a person.
You fell in love with their eyes and the way they saw the world.
You fell in love with their heart and what they ached for.
You fell in love with their wounds, just as they did yours.
You fell in love with their mind. You fell in love with the way their hand fit into yours as you navigated the maze of life.
Arms were the one thing you didn’t fall for. They were for falling into.