Chapter 33 #2
Hayes dismounted first and tied Maisey off. “They’d be lucky to have you.”
His hands bracketed my hips as I hopped off Elvis and tied him to the hitching post.
I swallowed the metric ton of sand that was trapped in my throat as he took my hand and headed for the trail.
We hiked in silence as we made our way to the kissing rock.
Hayes went out first, sitting on the edge and holding my hands as I eased down beside him.
He was quick to tuck me into his side and hold me close as the sky turned from dusk to twilight.
“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” Hayes asked. “The weekend was a hit. You got some great press. Got the job you wanted…”
“What if it’s not what I want?” I hedged.
He regarded me with curiosity, like I had just said the most ludicrous thing.
I looked down at my hands. “What if I’m not cut out for it?”
Hayes blinked in disbelief. “Not cut out for it?” He let out a blustering laugh. “Cath, what on earth are you talking about? Not cut out for it…”
“They called me na?ve.”
Those four words had Hayes pushing off the rock so he could go ruin whoever dared to speak ill of me. I grabbed his hand and pulled him back down to sit beside me.
“Simmer down, cowboy.” I rested my head on his shoulder. “I still got the offer.”
“Who the fuck would call you na?ve?” he spat.
I couldn’t help but laugh. It was adorable when he was worked up. “During the interview, the panel asked what I would do if I had a ten-thousand-dollar budget to boost hospital employee morale.”
His brows furrowed. “What did you say?”
My smile was sad. “I said I’d look at the most understaffed unit with the highest number of admissions and use the budget to cover the cost of scheduling additional staff members to ease the burden.”
He looked at me in disbelief. “And they called you na?ve for wanting to bolster safe staffing ratios?”
I nodded. “Apparently they usually rent billboards that tell their staff that they’re healthcare heroes instead.”
Hayes shook his head in disbelief. “So, they put a Band-Aid on the problem instead of surgical intervention.”
“Apparently, I was still their pick for the job. I guess being a Wilder makes up for being na?ve.” I punctuated the last two words with air quotes.
“I don’t think you’re na?ve,” Hayes said. “I think you believe the world can become a better place, and you’re willing to put in the work.” He kissed my head. “Even if it’s just in the valley.”
“I’m pretty sure the hospital administration is just banking on big donations from my very generous husband. I doubt they’ll be very happy when they find out I’m not going to be a Wilder anymore.”
Hayes pressed his cheek to the top of my head. “What if you stayed a Wilder?”
“Technically I’m not a Wilder at all. I never changed my name.”
He kissed my temple and murmured, “You know what I mean, Cath. Don’t pretend like you don’t.”
I shook my head. “Things are already too complicated between us, Hayes.”
“Things were always going to be complicated,” he said. “There was no outcome to this marriage other than me falling in love with you.”
“It will—” I paused as everything went numb, then slowly looked up at him. “What did you just say?”
Hayes turned to me, dark eyes holding on to the glimmers of early starlight in the cerulean sky. “I love you. I fell in love with you. I didn’t mean to. I just—”
I kissed him. Hayes laughed in surprise as my mouth crashed onto his. It was fleeting, but brilliant, like the shooting stars that often danced over the valley.
“You’re sure?”
Hayes rested his forehead on mine. “I told you I’ve never been in love before. Not like this. That’s why I know that you are something I’m not going to let go of.”
“Good. Because I did too.” A tear rolled down my cheek. “And that scares the ever-living shit out of me.”
“Me too,” he admitted as he cupped my cheeks and wiped my tears away.
“I don’t know where we go from here,” I said. “I don’t know what this means. It was supposed to be so simple. Get married. Get divorced.”
“Annulled,” he clarified.
I laughed. “Semantics.”
Hayes pressed a kiss to my head. “What if we didn’t?”
“Didn’t what?”
“Didn’t get an annulment.” He shrugged. “Things are going pretty good as they are. It’ll be one less thing to worry about. You’ve got enough on your plate as it is, and I’ve got plenty on mine. What if we just…”
“Stayed married?”
“Dated while we stayed married,” he clarified. “What if we went back and started from the beginning?” His grin was bashful. “I haven’t gotten the chance to take you on a proper date yet.”
For some reason, the idea of staying married scared me more than getting married in the first place.
Maybe that was how it was supposed to be. Marriage was work. That was the beautiful thing about our arrangement. I hadn’t gone into it expecting rainbows and butterflies. There were no rose-colored glasses to wear.
Just roses. Beauty and softness among the prickles and thorns.
“And how will we know if we’ve made it?” I asked. “You know me—I like the terms spelled out.”
Hayes chuckled. “We’ll give it a year. On our first anniversary, we can decide if we want to stay married for good. And if you want to change your name—officially—well, I’d like that.”
“And what if I want to keep my last name?”
Hayes cupped my chin and kissed me. “Then I’m changing mine.”