Chapter Fifteen Savannah
Chapter Fifteen
Savannah
I take a sip of my wine and gaze at Tyler across the table as he tells me one of his house call war stories.
He’s been a perfect gentleman from the second he showed up at Red Rock to pick me up for our date tonight. He brought me flowers and ingredients for my chocolate-raspberry cake, which made me chuckle.
“I didn’t get a chance to sample it the last time, so I’m hoping this will score me an invitation for a second chance tasting,” he’d told me.
My lips curl into a smile at the memory. Even though we’ve only known each other for a short time, we click. It’s so easy with him. We talk and joke and laugh. There’s no power struggle. No secrets, no lies. Just fun.
And I think I might be ready for a little more fun.
“I gave him the shot, and then the calf literally headbutted me right into the water trough,” Tyler says, grinning. “In front of the entire Henderson family.”
“Henderson cattle have always been ornery,” I say, taking a sip of wine. “I guess it’s in the genes.”
“Ornery is putting it mildly. But I got the job done. Sometimes you just have to be stubborn. Speaking of stubborn,” he continues, voice dropping slightly, “I’m really glad you agreed to have dinner with me.
After the Boot Barn . . .” He trails off, shaking his head.
“I was an idiot for letting you leave like that. I shouldn’t have even suggested that place.
I didn’t realize it was such a breeding ground for that kind of trouble. ”
The flicker in his eyes tells me the “trouble” he’s talking about might not be limited to the assholes from out of town.
“It’s fine. I understand. Things got a little out of hand.”
“It’s not fine. I should have protected you better. Gotten you out of there safely. I was afraid you wouldn’t give me another shot.” His hand reaches across the table, fingers brushing mine. “But I’m glad you did. I really think there’s something here, Savannah.”
I nod. “I do too.” And I mean it. Tyler is good. Solid. The kind of guy who shows up. Who recognizes his mistakes and tries to fix them.
Who isn’t Blaze Hartman.
I shove that thought away fast.
“You look beautiful tonight, by the way. Did I mention that?”
“You did. When you picked me up.”
“Well, you look so good, I need to tell you again.” His thumb traces circles on my palm.
Heat rushes to my cheeks. “Thank you.”
Our entrées arrive a few minutes later.
“So what made you decide to relocate to Denver?” he asks, stabbing a piece of chicken with his fork.
“I loved growing up here in Whiskey Creek,” I say, gripping the edge of the tablecloth.
“But after my parents died, I just . . . I needed some distance. I shouldn’t have stayed away so long, though.
” My shoulders tense, and I push the reason why I stayed away to the corners of my mind.
“I missed out on a lot with my brother and aunt. That’s something I have to live with, but I wish I’d have done things differently. ”
Because part of me really does. It would have been hard, but I should have been strong enough. I wasn’t. And I really hate that I wasn’t.
“I get that,” he says. “And I know you’re beating yourself up over that. But you can’t. Life takes us in different directions for lots of reasons. You were supposed to go to Denver, maybe to heal. Maybe because you couldn’t heal here in the place where you lost so much.”
“Maybe you’re right.” I take a long swallow of wine. Unfortunately, it doesn’t dissolve the lump in my throat. I force a smile at him. “I’m just going to run to the restroom real quick.”
“Take your time.” Tyler smiles, that open, genuine smile that should make my heart flutter.
It doesn’t. Because my heart is just too broken. Not that he’d ever know that his words just opened up all of those past wounds again, and now they’re raw and gaping.
I round the corner and slam face-first into a hard wall of thick muscle. “Excuse m—”
A gasp tangles in my throat.
“Savannah.” Blaze’s voice is low and rough.
His eyes drop to my dress. Suddenly, it feels too tight and way too revealing. When his eyes slide back to my face, something dark flickers in the depths.
We’re standing too close together in the narrow hallway. I should step back. Or go into the bathroom and lock the door. Or just about anything other than standing here, gaping at him in his tight black T-shirt and low-slung jeans.
“Saw you with the vet.” His jaw tightens. “Looking mighty cozy.”
“That’s none of your business,” I snap, my mouth finally deciding to work again.
“He had his hands on you.” His voice drops dangerously low. “Touching what’s not his.”
“I’m not yours, Blaze. I never was.”
Something flashes in his eyes. I can’t tell if it’s pain or anger. Maybe both. “You think I don’t know that?”
He steps closer until he’s backed me against the wall next to the bathroom door.
“What do you think you’re doing? I’m on a date.”
“I don’t know.” His hands press against the wall on either side of my head. He’s not touching me, but my God, I can feel him everywhere. His heat, his desire, the tension crackling in the air between us. “I’m trying to stay away from you. I’m trying to do the right thing for once in my damn life.”
“Then stay away,” I say, my voice quivering.
“I need to.” The sound is ragged, broken, defeated, and it lances my heart. “And I’ve tried. But watching him touch you, watching you smile at him like—”
He breaks off, jaw clenching so hard I can see the muscle jump.
“Like what, Blaze?” I whisper.
“Like you used to smile at me.” His lips pull tight. “Before I fucked everything up.”
My breath catches.
His eyes are dark and wild as they rake over me. So much emotion swirls in the caramel-colored pools, none of it warm or cozy. There’s danger flashing, hunger and obsession waging a fierce battle with control.
“You should go back to your date,” he says, but he doesn’t move.
“If you really mean that, then let me go.” My heart hammers at his nearness, his cologne teasing my nostrils.
“I can’t.” The fingers of his free hand hover near my jaw but don’t make contact. It’s like he’s fighting himself. “God help me, I can’t.”
His lips crush against mine before I can respond.
It’s not gentle. There’s nothing romantic about it either. It’s desperate and furious and possessive, like he’s trying to brand himself onto my soul, trying to erase Tyler’s touch with his own. His hand tangles in my hair, tugging my head back. His body presses against mine, pinning me to the wall.
And fuck my life, I kiss him back.
I shouldn’t. I know I shouldn’t. But six years of anger and hurt and longing explode between us in the most inconvenient of circumstances, and like him, I can’t stop myself. My hands fist his shirt, pulling him closer even though every logical part of my brain screams for me to push him away.
He kisses like he’s drowning and I’m air. Like he’s been starving for years and I’m the only thing that can satiate him.
Then, without any warning, he tears himself away, both of us panting.
He stumbles back like he just stepped onto hot coals. He scrapes a hand down the front of his beard. “Fuck,” he mutters. “Fuck, I shouldn’t have—”
“Blaze—”
“No.” He backs up another step, like he doesn’t trust himself near me. “This was a mistake.”
I stare at him, heart pounding, lips swollen, body completely rattled at what just happened in this hallway. Where anyone could have seen us. “What?”
“You heard me.” His voice is cold. He’s completely shut down. But his hands are shaking. “Go back to your perfect date with your perfect vet. Forget this happened.”
“You can’t just kiss me like that and then—”
“I can. And I am.” He doesn’t meet my eyes. “I left you. I’m no good for you. I never was.”
“You don’t get to make that decision for me.” I seethe, my heart still thrashing at his delicious invasion.
“Maybe not. But I know what you deserve. And it sure as hell isn’t me.”
Anger burns hot in my veins at his words. “Then stay the hell away from me,” I say through clenched teeth. “I’m done being treated like a Ping-Pong ball. This whole thing is over. For good.”
He recoils like I’ve just slapped him and walks away. Just like that. Leaving me pressed against the wall with absolutely no idea what just happened.
Except that I’m the victim of yet another fucking power trip.
How the hell did I let that happen?
“You deserve someone stable. Someone who won’t fuck up your life.”
As if kissing me in a hallway while I’m on a date with someone else isn’t already fucking up my life.
As if he hasn’t already done that before.
Throughout the rest of dinner, I try like hell to bury all of the things that Blaze just unleashed with that kiss and self-deprecating monologue. I try hard to not show any signs that I have just had my world completely rocked by the one man I swore to hate forever.
Fuck him for interfering with my date. With my life. He had his chance.
It’s over. Finished.
When we get back to Red Rock, Tyler opens the door for me and walks me up the steps.
“I had a really great time, Savannah,” he murmurs, brushing his fingers against the side of my face.
“Me too,” I whisper. He dips his head to kiss me, and I part my lips eagerly, praying, wishing, hoping for a spark to ignite between us.
It doesn’t.
It’s a nice kiss, a soft, sweet, first-date kiss. But it’s completely void of the passion, the fire, and the elusive spark I was so desperate to feel.
Tyler clearly has a different perception, though. He beams, his eyes twinkling as he gazes down at me. “I’ll call you tomorrow?”
“Yes, I’d like that.”
I watch him get back into his truck, then I walk into the house, where I can try to figure out why Blaze kissed me like he couldn’t breathe without me and then walked away like I was poison.
He told me to stay away from him.
That he’s no good for me.
Then why the hell did he kiss me at all?
And why do I feel like despite everything he said, despite every logical reason why I should forget about Blaze Hartman for good, I’m already in too deep to save myself?