Chapter Thirty-Seven Savannah
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Savannah
I stare at my computer screen but see none of the charts I so carefully crafted for this client meeting. The only thing reflecting back in the monitor is the stricken look on Blaze’s face when I turned my back on him six weeks ago.
Tom and Caroline were ecstatic to have me back at work. I didn’t give them many details about my departure from Whiskey Creek, other than the fact that the amount of effort required to restore Red Rock was more than I was prepared to give after weeks of grueling work, evaluation, and analysis.
Ever since I returned to Denver, I’ve buried myself under a pile of projects. Tom even told me that my promotion is still on the table, that Caroline didn’t give it to someone else after I left.
It should make me happy. I had a little setback with my time in Whiskey Creek, but now I’m back on track for massive success in my career. Just what I wanted.
Except now, wanted is the apropos word.
Wanted, as in past tense.
Because I’ve seen a glimpse of what my future could be. And, much as I hate to admit it, I want that more.
But we don’t always get what we want, do we?
Sometimes we have to make do with the next best thing for us.
And me rising to the top of the food chain here at the Sterling Strategy Group is it.
I am valued here. My colleagues don’t try to control me or make decisions for me.
Here, I am the strong, empowered woman I strived to be for so long.
The one long forgotten while I was at Red Rock.
I pick up my coffee mug and am absently running my finger over the smooth ceramic when someone knocks on my door. My heart leaps as it always does, because it’s stupid and naive and ignorant.
But my head is level. Sort of.
“Come in,” I call out, placing my mug back on the desk.
My new friend Alyssa bounces into the room and sits in a chair with her typical dramatic flair.
I was always so engrossed in my work that I never really opened myself up to making friends here.
Real friends who make plans for dinner and drinks, shopping excursions, and quiet wine-and-movie nights at home.
But since I’ve been back, I realize how very lonely that kind of life is. Alyssa is new to the company, and we hit it off right away. I didn’t realize how much I really needed a friend until she popped into my life.
And of course, she knows all about Blaze and my family saga back in Whiskey Creek. It took some time to build up to putting my trust in someone again, but she’s a really great listener who’s made it her personal goal to help me forget Blaze once and for all.
“So,” she says in a conspiratorial voice, leaning forward, her green eyes glittering with excitement. “I just heard that Luke, the new guy, has a little thing for you.”
I smile and sit back in my chair. “And how did you find that out, exactly?”
She cocks her head to the side, a knowing smile tugging her glossy pink lips. “I might’ve heard it from Matt.”
Matt is part of the technology consulting practice and Alyssa’s current boy toy. I have to say, she’s got great taste. For a tech guy, he’s smoking hot.
“So what do you think?” she says excitedly. “The guys want to go for happy hour after work later. You in or what?”
I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and force myself to nod and smile back with as much enthusiasm as I can muster. “Sure, why not?”
“Exactly,” she says, jumping out of the chair. “It’s time to get you back on the horse.” She giggles. “Right, because ranches have horses. Isn’t that punny?”
I chuckle. “Yes, well done.”
She flips her hair over one shoulder and winks at me. “I try. Oh, and good luck at your meeting. I know you’re going to crush it. I can’t wait to hear all about it at lunch.”
“Thanks,” I say. “I’ll see you in a couple of hours.”
I look back at my screen. I really am so grateful that we met. Alyssa is a real firecracker. Everybody loves her, and she’s the type of person who just makes you want to smile all the time. It’s also nice to feel comfortable opening up to someone again.
But even with all the distractions, I can’t stop thinking about what I left behind. Red Rock, Blaze, all of it. The ranch has a new owner. Kent emailed me earlier this week to let me know the auction is complete. I didn’t ask who bought it. I don’t want to know, or so I tell myself.
That chapter of my life is closed.
I’m working on the next one here in Denver.
And maybe that guy Luke might be part of it.
I let out a deep sigh and gather my presentation materials together.
It doesn’t matter that my heart is still screaming Blaze’s name. He hurt me. Deceived me. Betrayed me.
And it’s high time my heart learned another name.
With my laptop and notes in one arm, I push open the door to my office and step into the hallway. Tom and Caroline stand next to the conference room where the client meeting will be held. Their heads are bent together, and my pulse picks up speed as I’m hit with a wave of déjà vu.
Something feels off. Again.
Dammit, I don’t want to think about the last presentation I gave here. Not now. I have to focus on the promotion still up for grabs. I want it, and I will have it.
I just need to—
“Savannah.”
I stop short, clutching my laptop to my chest before I slowly turn around.
No. Not here. Not now.
My chest burns with each shallow gasp. “Blaze,” I choke out.
His face is worn, eyes bleary. And in his flannel, jeans, and boots, he looks like a fish out of water in this corporate space.
Alyssa walks out of her nearby cubicle, her jaw nearly hitting the floor as she looks from me to Blaze and then back again.
“What are you doing here?” I ask in a low voice.
He steps forward, a folder in his hand. “I needed to see you. To tell you something.”
I jerk my head left and right. The client group just arrived, and they are talking to Tom and Caroline, who are suddenly very interested in the tall, gorgeous, road-worn cowboy standing in the reception area.
“I have a meeting in literally five minutes—” I start to say.
“Conference room,” Alyssa hisses at me, nodding toward an open door.
“Savannah?” Ryan, one of the team members, waves me over. “We’re almost ready to begin.”
I force a smile. “Can you give me two minutes? I’ll be right there.”
Ryan looks at Blaze with interest and then nods. “Sure, I’ll hold them off,” he murmurs with a wink.
A frustrated huff escapes my lips, and I push Blaze inside my office before shutting the door.
I glare hard, forcing myself to laser him with every angry thought and hurt feeling that’s been plaguing me for the past six weeks. But my belly still does flip-flops when his spicy scent wafts under my nose. And my insides still melt under his heated caramel gaze.
Fuck my life.
“What do you want? As I said, I have an important meeting,” I snap.
“Look, I didn’t want to bother you, but I wanted you to hear this from me.” He pauses for a beat as I sneak a look over my shoulder at my colleagues staring at us through the side glass panels on either side of the door.
“So you drove four hours to ambush me with something else while I’m at work?”
Blaze takes off his hat and runs his fingers through his dark hair. “I bought Red Rock.”
“You what?”
“Last week at the auction. I bought your ranch. I-I couldn’t let it go to a stranger,” he says. “I know how much it meant to you. So I bought it instead. Used my military savings. Colt helped me with the rest of it.”
I press a hand to my forehead and lean into the edge of the table for balance. My pulse throbs hard. Blood rushes between my temples, and the world goes a bit fuzzy as I process his words. “You had no right—”
“I know, but the auction was happening, and it was my only chance to make things right. You hadn’t reached out and obviously didn’t want to talk to me, which I understand, but I just .
. . couldn’t let it go.” He hands me the folder.
“I remember all the ideas you had for the ranch. I found your business plan too. And Nash, Wyatt, Colt, and I have been doing repairs and updates to the place with Mikey and Randy. We’re doing rotational grazing and soil restoration, preparing to grow and sell produce.
I also got more agreements for some folks to lease the property.
You were right. It’s the way forward for Red Rock. ”
My God. He bought Red Rock. Without telling me. Without asking if it was okay. He made another decision for me, not with me.
“How could you?” I say. “How could you do all of this without even asking me?”
“Because I destroyed it,” he says in a small voice. “I need to fix it and make it whole again.” His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat. “For you. For your family. Whether or not you decide to come back.”
“You can’t just buy your way back into my life . . .” I say, blood roaring in my ears.
“No,” he says, stepping closer. “I’m not trying to buy anything.” He grasps my arms, desperation etched into his pained expression. “I’m trying to make things right. I’m doing everything I can to fix what I broke. Because I need to be the man you deserve.”
Tears sting my eyes.
“Come home, Savannah,” he says, voice cracking. “Come home to Red Rock. To me.” He drops to one knee, and my chest squeezes tight. A tear slips down the side of my face. “Marry me. Let me spend the rest of my life making you happy and proving that I can be the man you need. Please.”
I swipe away the stray tear. “You can’t . . . you’re seriously doing this? Now?” Clutching the sides of my head, I step backward.
“I know the timing isn’t great, but I also know I’ve never wanted anything more. I love you, Savvie. I always have, and I always will. I am so sorry for everything. I just . . .” His voice hitches. “I just need one more chance to prove myself to you. And I swear I’ll never let you down again.”
Anguish rips through my chest because I want more than anything to believe his words, his intentions.
But too much has happened, too much heartache, too much festering anger.
And I don’t know if I can ever see him the way I used to, as the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, the man I can trust and respect and build a future with.
“No,” I whisper. “I can’t. Not like this. Not after . . . everything.”
“Savannah,” he says, rising to his full height, forcing me to look up at him. “Just let me—”
“No. You bought my ranch without asking. You show up here with no warning. Then you completely blindside me with a marriage proposal after I told you I needed space?”
“I just . . . I needed to make a grand gesture. To make sure you know how important you are to me, how I can’t survive without you.
Walking away from you the first time was torture, but watching you leave me?
” He shakes his head. “Knowing I had to let go because it’s what you wanted? It broke me, Savvie.”
“Now you understand,” I say, my lip trembling.
“And you’re still making decisions for me.
Still making choices for me. One of the reasons why I needed space was to get back to the place where I run my own life according to my terms. You can’t come to my place of work and turn things upside down because it’s the only way you know how to heal.
” I point to myself. “I had to learn that for myself. And it seems like you need to do the same thing.”
All color drips from his face, his eyes as hollow as my insides feel. “Does this mean you’re not coming back?”
“Blaze, I . . .” I let out a deep sigh. “I need to know that if I come back, it’s for the right reasons. I don’t want to go back because I feel obligated or because you created this perfect redemption plan that I have no choice but to accept. My terms,” I say in a firm voice.
“H-how long?” he asks.
I shrug. “I don’t know.”
His eyebrows knit together. “Can I call you?”
“No. I’ll reach out when I’m ready.” My eyes latch onto his longing ones. “If I’m ever ready.”
Someone knocks on the door. I peer out the window to see Ryan pointing at his watch.
I turn back to Blaze, and with every last shred of strength and resolve left in my body, I say, “You need to go.”
He nods, completely dejected. He runs his fingers down the side of my face.
I steel myself, resisting the urge to launch my body into his strong arms.
“I am so sorry. I hate myself for what I did to you,” he says. Then he reaches for the door handle and looks back. “The ranch is yours, though. Whether or not you want it. I’ll keep running it until you decide.”
I blink fast, steadying myself as he walks out of the conference room and toward the elevator. Alyssa rushes into the room. “Are you okay? Was that—?”
“Yes.”
“Holy shit,” she whispers. “I know it’s not the right time, but my Gawd!”
“Not the right time,” I say with a sniffle.
“Good luck,” she says. “Drinks on me later.”
“Many drinks,” I say, giving her arm a squeeze. Then I rush out the door and down the hall toward the client meeting.
“Good afternoon, everyone,” I say in the most artificially cheerful voice I can manage when I walk into the room. “I am so excited to talk to you this afternoon about your fourth-quarter ad-campaign results.”
It’s absolute hell, talking through the slides in a chirpy voice while inside I’m dying a slow and painful death. But the clients love the work I’ve done, and Tom and Caroline can’t stop beaming at me.
I feel completely numb, though. The love of my life just proposed, and I said no.
I sent him away after he made the grand gestures I’d dreamed about for so long, the promise of a future I’d hoped for since the first time he made love to me at Red Rock.
I wanted all of him, and here he was, offering it.
Then I sent him packing.
I sink into my desk chair and cover my head with my hands. Alyssa has texted me no fewer than ten times in the past five minutes to make sure I’m okay, but I can’t bear to type the truth that, no, I’m most definitely not okay. That my heart is shattered, that my soul is crushed.
My phone buzzes on the desk. I pick it up, expecting another text from Alyssa. But I furrow my brow at the unknown number.
Clicking the notification, I peer at the message that appears on my screen.
Hey, it’s Colt. Just so you know, he’s been a mess since you left. Hasn’t eaten or slept. He bought your ranch with every penny he’d ever earned. Not trying to pressure you. But I want you to know he’s really trying.
My jaw drops. Colt is reaching out? Colt, who I was sure hated me because he never gave me the time of day, is texting me to let me know how much Blaze is hurting.
I give my head a quick shake. He never really had much to do with Blaze, either, so I clearly have missed a lot in these weeks away.
The phone buzzes again.
He doesn’t know I texted you. Would kill me if he did. But I wanted to let you know he’s not trying to control you. He’s just desperate. And really fucking bad at this stuff.
I stuff my phone into my handbag and open a spreadsheet, pretending it actually matters.
Maybe I made the right choice by sending him away.
Or maybe I just destroyed any chance at happiness either of us might ever find.