Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
EMILY
When he’s finished with the sink, I could kiss him. I don’t, but I could. Because it’s fixed and I didn’t have to pay Bud’s Plumbing another two hundred bucks, or more, that I don’t have. I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited for a working bathroom sink in my entire life.
Baylor stands, his eyes searching mine as he wipes his hands on the black towel I have hanging beside the now-fixed sink. He is so massive that he takes up the entire space. He also makes me feel microscopic.
“What can I do to repay you? I seriously cannot thank you enough for all of this,” I ramble without being able to stop.
His lips twitch into a smirk, and he shakes his head once, then reaches out for the empty lemonade glass. I watch as he shakes it back and forth, and when he speaks, I swear my entire body trembles and aches for his touch.
“Amazing fucking glass of lemonade and some fancy fucking cheese and crackers, you paid me enough, Em.”
“I feel like I should do more. Let me cook you dinner?”
I’m nervous, my body trembling as I wait for his answer.
I don’t know what I’m doing. Opening my mouth, I start to tell him never mind.
That I’m stupid and it was a bad idea and I wasn’t being serious.
My thoughts ramble, but thankfully, I don’t say any of it out loud.
Instead, I stare at him, wondering how he’s going to respond and if I’m going to be able to backtrack believably.
“Can’t tonight,” he states.
Instantly, I feel both relief and disappointment from his words.
Lowering my gaze to my feet, I chew on the corner of my bottom lip as I try to think of how to make this all end as soon as humanly possible.
While I’m a bit relieved, I feel really dumb right now standing here in front of him after being rejected.
Honestly, I don’t know why I even asked or said anything. He’s made it perfectly clear for the past year that he wants nothing to do with me. And here I am, throwing myself at him yet again.
I’m so stupid. So incredibly stupid. I wish there were a way I could just run away. That would make this so much easier. If I could just vanish right now, I would be happy. If I could go back in time and change everything about the persona I created for myself, I would be ecstatic.
He takes half a step toward me, then stops. I suck in a breath when he lifts his hand until his knuckle taps beneath my chin, his eyes searching mine. Holding my breath, I wait for him to say something, do something, and then it happens.
He leans in close to me, and I close my eyes, anticipating a kiss on my lips, but then something else happens. He shifts his face, his lips press against the side of my ear, and he whispers to me there.
“Baby, the last thing you need to do is feed me. You’ve got enough on your plate.”
His words shouldn’t send goose bumps over every inch of my skin, but they do. I grip his biceps, my nails digging into him through his shirt. Really, I’m just trying to keep from falling down into a pile of goo and embarrassment all at the same time.
“Baylor,” I exhale.
He hums, and I wait for him to move backward, but he doesn’t. My breathing starts to come out in pants because he stays where he is, then he slides his hands around my waist and tugs me against his chest.
Tipping my head back, I look up into his eyes. They’re searching mine, and there is a fire behind them that I can’t quite read, but I wish I could because I have a feeling I would absolutely love whatever he’s thinking.
That is, until he abruptly releases me and runs his fingers through his hair, then shifts his gaze from mine to the floor. Whatever spell we had, it’s broken. I decide not to say anything, even though I want to ask him what happened.
He lifts his gaze to meet mine again. Whatever was burning there behind his eyes is gone now. Vanished. He flashes me a smile, but it’s almost as if he’s seeing through me, not looking at me. He is back to the man who pretended I didn’t exist for a year.
I hate it.
But I don’t hate him for it. I hate myself.
My past self. The one who thought that she had to pretend to be loose and wild.
The one who thought it didn’t matter what man she married, snagged, tricked, as long as said man had the last name Cooper.
I wish I could go back in time. I wish I could be a different person.