Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
BAYLOR
“You gonna tell me where you been sneaking off to?” Beckett asks from behind me.
My workday is over.
It’s been two weeks. A perfect two weeks of being with Emily. Holding her, kissing her, whispering in the night with her. I didn’t think I would fall for her. I figured whatever we had would be completely satisfied by a few nights together.
That is definitely not the case. I’ve fallen for her. And I’ve fucked shit up. Because I can’t keep her. I know I can’t, and as every single minute passes, I realize it more and more. I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do.
Now my brother is asking me questions, and I really don’t know what to do here. I definitely don’t know what to say.
“You don’t want to know,” I state.
He snorts. “I’m sure I don’t. Figure it’s got something to do with a woman.”
It does.
But not just a woman.
The woman.
“Does it matter?” I ask.
He hums but doesn’t say anything immediately. “Am I going to see her tomorrow night at the bonfire?”
Fuck. I’d forgotten about the bonfire. Everyone is going to be there. They’ve been less about hooking up and more about bonding and family lately. I keep wondering when they’re going to shift to Sunday afternoon grilling and dinners. It’s coming. I figure about the same time as the baby does.
“Do you really want to see her there if you don’t want to know who it is?” I ask
“Baylor,” he murmurs, “I don’t think there’s really anyone in town I would frown on you dating. You must like her since you’ve been spending every single night there… for weeks.”
And I have done just that. I love being with Emily, even if it’s just to hold her while she sleeps. That’s enough for me. I can’t stay away from her. I’m not just drawn to her—I’m drawn into her.
“Doesn’t matter,” I state. “Anything else you wanna talk about before I go and work on the house for the night?”
I’ve been busting my hump all day long. I haven’t had the sleep I’ve needed to recharge my body every night, but the loss of sleep has been a sacrifice I haven’t minded making.
Right now, though, I’m irritated and tired.
I’ve got to finish the kitchen tonight so I can officially move into this house soon.
Although after the kitchen, we have to work on bathrooms and bedrooms, so we won’t be able to buy furniture or anything until that’s done. The undertaking has been much bigger than any of us thought.
At this point, I’m not sure if we’ll even be settled before the baby comes. Not that it matters. It’s not like the three uncles are ever going to be babysitting, but still. I’d like there to be only one drama at a time, only one major life event.
So we’ve got to get this house done before the baby shows. But it’s slow going. Really freaking slow going.
“Baylor,” Beckett calls out.
Arching a brow, I watch him for a moment, unsure of what he’s going to say. I know it has to do with Emily. Even if he doesn’t know exactly who I’m seeing, somewhere deep down, he has to at least have an idea.
“Beckett,” I reply and wait.
He takes a step toward me, then another, closing the distance between us.
I hold my breath as he lifts his hand, curling his fingers around my shoulder and shaking me gently.
His gaze never leaves mine. He’s going to be serious, and I wonder if it’s going to piss me off or not.
I have a feeling it probably will at this point.
“Don’t give a fuck who she is. If she makes you happy, that’s all I give a shit about. Maisie will feel the same way. She loves you.”
There it is. She loves me. And I love her, which is why I would never broach the subject.
“I know she does. And I feel the same, which is why it’s never going to happen. We’re just getting it out of our systems for now.”
It’s a lie.
And I know he realizes it’s a lie when he smirks as his hand falls from my shoulder. “Sure,” he murmurs. “Whatever you gotta tell yourself, but just to say, you can bring her around. No matter who she is.”
And that’s that, but I don’t think he realizes I can’t do that. I can’t do that to our family. It would cause a rift, and I would rather be miserable and alone than cause an issue with our family. I love them too much for that shit.
EMILY
My phone buzzes with a new text message. Slipping it out of my pocket, I smile at the sight of the sender. Gliding my thumb across the screen, I flick my gaze down and then frown immediately as my gaze scans the screen.
It’s from Baylor.
BAYLOR: I DON’T THINK IT’S A GOOD IDEA FOR YOU TO COME TO THE BONFIRE TONIGHT. I’LL COME TO YOU AFTER.
Chewing on the corner of my bottom lip, I think about how I’m going to respond to that. I know why he doesn’t want me there… but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be there. And it’s not just because I know there will be single women there, women who have been with and want to be with him.
As much as I want to mark my territory when it comes to Baylor, I won’t be able to do that there anyway. I just want to be near him. I’m pathetic. I know I am, but I can feel that our time together is coming to a close.
He’s not going to be able to stay with me much longer. He has a whole family that needs him, and coming to my place every night doesn’t help them out. I know he’s trying to remodel the old Ackerman house. He’s got a lot of irons in the fire, and none of them really include me.
I would like to go, even if it’s just for a little while. I won’t even stand near you.
It’s pathetic. I know it is. I’m ashamed to even have typed that all out and pressed Send, but I’m also not a proud person. So there is that. Chewing on my bottom lip, I wonder if he’s even going to reply.
A few moments later, my phone finally buzzes again with a new message from him.
BAYLOR: I WISH IT COULD BE DIFFERENT. BUT YOU KNOW IT CAN’T BE MORE THAN WHAT IT IS.
Yep. I knew this was coming to an end. Tonight will be the last time we see one another. The writing is on the wall in big, bold letters. So if this is going to be the last time, it’s going to be the best time. I’m going to imprint myself on him… or at least try.
I know. I won’t make it a thing. Some of the girls were going. They begged me to come, and I already said I would. It would be weird if I didn’t. But it’ll be my last time, I promise.
I wait for his response to come. It doesn’t, at least not immediately. I start to get ready for said bonfire, knowing my friends will be here soon. Friends. That’s a term I use loosely with them.
They’re girls I’ve known for years, girls who believe the rumors and spread them, too.
They’re not my friends, not really, but when you’re supposed to be a bad girl, a slut, you have a little posse of babes at your back.
And that’s what they are. It’s all surface level, but they’re fun, if nothing else.
A knock at my door makes my spine straighten. They’re here. Standing, I take one last look at my reflection in the mirror. For whatever reason, I decided a jean miniskirt was the way to go, along with a skintight tank top and boots.
Smoothing my skirt down, I wipe my palms down my hips and inhale a deep breath, holding it for a moment, then turning toward the door. Stupidly, I let down my guard, and even more stupidly, I tug the door open without checking the peephole.