The Hot Housewives of Eugene
Briggs: I’m bowing out. I’m not man enough for Shelby.
Cade: Was that a fresh shiner I saw on your face this morning?
Briggs: Yeah. She’s fun, but I don’t think it’s supposed to hurt this much.
Logan: Good. Leave her to Jake.
Briggs: Get this. I left my water bottle by the court, but by the time I went back to grab it, they were both there—not really playing basketball, if you know what I mean.
Kelsey: No. We don’t know what you mean. What do you mean?!
Tessa: Tell us everything right now!
Briggs: I didn’t stick around, but Jake had his shirt off. They were laughing. Standing close. That kind of thing.
Tessa: WHAT?
Kelsey: I KNEW IT!!
Cade: Is this the kind of stuff you girls talk about all day on here?
Logan: I think freaking Jake’s a liar.