Chapter 19 #2
“Yup,” said Jake before lowering his voice and looking serious. “That’s Gus’s camp. I didn’t know he’d be out here.”
His brow furrowed as the little boy took in the unassuming scene down below.
“He’s as mean as a skunk,” Jake said. “I’ll be sure to keep my gun ready. You stay close to your dad, alright?
“Is he an outlaw?”
“You could say that again.” Jake nodded, not even cracking a smile.
Carter gasped, his eyes as wide as dinner plates as he began chattering to his dad about the possibility of a shoot-out later.
When Carter wasn’t looking, I leaned across my horse to push a laughing Jake.
We were halfway up the mountain when I noticed the limp. It was hard to tell at first, because the ground we were covering was so rocky, but my horse, Finn, began dragging his foot. Immediately, I slowed him to a stop and jumped off before yelling up to Jake.
“What’s wrong?” Jake asked as he and Carter and Tom circled back to me.
“He’s limping.”
Jake slid off Jimmy and moved in beside me, reaching down to grab Finn’s leg and bending it backward.
“He’s got a rock in his shoe.”
He used his pocketknife, trying several times to scrape the rock out of the impatient horse’s shoe, to no avail. Finally, Jake released his hold on Finn.
“Do we have to go back?” Carter’s worried face looked at his dad for reassurance. Tom looked at Jake.
“No. We’ll be fine. We just can’t put any weight on Shelby’s horse any more this trip. I’ll tie him to Jimmy so he can ride behind me. We might have to go a little slower.”
“Does she have to walk?” Carter pointed at me.
“I don’t know.” Humor flashed across Jake’s face as he looked at Carter. “Should we make her walk, or should she ride with me?”
“She should ride with you,” Carter said, his eyes solemn and sweet.
Jake nodded back in some sort of manly code.
“Are you serious?” I looked up at his horse. He was tall and of good stock, but he was getting older in years. The weight of the two of us couldn’t be too comfortable for Jimmy. “Will we hurt him?”
“We’ve only got an hour or so left until we make camp. He’s carried me and Dusty for longer than that. He’ll be alright.”
“You and Dusty shared a horse? How cozy,” I teased.
“It was under duress, kind of like right now.” He studied Jimmy a moment. “I am going to take his saddle off, though. We can sit closer together without it, and I don’t want him to have too much of my weight on his back end. We’ll grab the saddle on our way back through tomorrow.”
I watched as he removed Jimmy’s saddle and hid it partially under a bush, barely visible from the trail.
Then he turned to me. “You remember how to ride bareback, Tuck?” Humor flashed across Jake’s face as he looked at me.
“The last time I rode bareback with you, I almost broke my neck.”
“Let’s hope you’re a better rider now.”
“What if an outlaw steals your saddle?” Carter asked, his eyes wide with delighted worry.
Jake looked seriously at the boy. “That’s a risk we have to take.”
Then he turned to me, his eyes shining. “Jump on.”
I wasn’t a horsewoman by any stretch of the imagination. That had been Jake’s domain. But I had ridden enough with him over the years that I could pass for someone comfortable on a horse. But riding in the mountains without a saddle was a different ballgame.
“That’s sweet that you have so much faith in my ability to do that,” I said.
Jake only smiled and cupped his hands together.
Leaning forward, he held them out, motioning for me to put my foot in his hands.
I did so, placing my hand on his shoulder to steady myself before allowing him to boost me onto the horse.
Jimmy shifted under my weight, and without a saddle, my body shifted too, causing me to clench the reins still connected to the bridle.
Jake was up and sitting around me before I could blink.
If I were trying to keep my distance in some way, this move now made that impossible.
I was surrounded by Jake. His woodsy scent.
His thighs gripping my legs. And his arms wrapping around me to grab the reins, holding me in a cocoon of tingles and awareness.
“Who said you get to drive?” I asked, attempting to hold my body straight and not lean back into him, like it seemed to want to do.
“I also almost broke my neck the last time we rode bareback together, so I will definitely be holding the reins this time.”
“Such a baby,” I murmured, wondering how I was going to survive an hour of this. I focused my attention on the smell of the pines and the dirt terrain in front of us.
“You can relax, Tuck.” His lips were next to my right ear as he leaned forward, clicking the reins to guide his horse along.
“I am,” I lied, moving back a half an inch so he’d think I was complying.
Jake’s arms nestled around my stomach, pulling me into him, until my back rested against his torso and my head landed against his chest.
“If you’re comfortable, it’s more comfortable for me too. And now I can see past your big hair.”
“Hey, I straightened it yesterday,” I said, self-consciously gathering my hair and moving it to one shoulder. “It shouldn’t be blocking your view.”
A low chuckle met my ears, sending chills up and down my body. “It’s not.” After a beat, he added, “You’re pretty touchy about your hair.”
“I finally feel like I have some self-awareness of myself that I didn’t have for most of my life.”
“Like what?” Jake asked, his voice sounding puzzled.
“Like a girl who went on and on, not having a clue about anything.”
I could feel him shrugging. “Well…I don’t know what you think has changed but—”
He groaned when my elbow hit its target.
“I just wish I had been more aware of what I looked like to people my whole life.” Explaining it only made it worse. So, of course, Jake couldn’t let it die.
“I’m going to say something that’s going to shock you, but you looked like Shelby Tucker.”
I smiled. “I’m not embarrassed. At least, I don’t think I am.
Although, I have seen a few old pictures of myself that made me pause.
” I ignored the snort from the man seated behind me.
“I loved my childhood. I just sometimes wish I’d had more female influences in my life growing up.
I wonder if that would have helped me out a bit. ”
“Helped you out with what?”
“Ugh. Can’t you just agree with me and move on? Why all the questions?”
“I want to make you say what you’re thinking so we can both talk about how dumb it is.” Jake’s annoyed retort did exactly what he wanted.
I did say it. I said the thing that I had thought about myself since my first year of college, when my female pack of roommates treated me to my first makeover.
All the things I had never done or had been doing wrong became the foreground for discussion.
The bra that didn’t fit. The makeup I’d never worn.
The eyebrows that had never been plucked.
The gangly arms that only seemed to know what to do on a basketball court.
The way boys had never looked twice at me.
“Maybe I wouldn’t have been so ugly back then.”
The words were out before I could take them back.
Immediately, I glanced behind Jake to see how far Tom and Carter were behind us.
They had dropped back an easy distance. I could hear little Carter’s excited chattering to his dad, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. I could only be grateful.
“What makes you think that you were ever ugly?” Jake’s voice had an angry edge.
A defeated laugh sputtered out of me. “Listen, I’m fine now.
I have never felt more comfortable in my skin than the past few months.
I’m sure I had a sparkling personality back then, but I just had zero awareness of things like that.
I wanted to beat you in everything we did together, and I loved basketball.
That was my life. But that kind of life doesn’t get you experience, or dates, or help you understand how to talk to guys.
It was a great childhood. I had friends who loved me, and I never doubted that, so it’s all good. It just set me back a few years.”
Now it was Jake sitting rigid in his seat behind me. I hated the tone my admission had brought to our lighthearted horse ride.
“You’ve always been pretty, Shelb. And I hate that you didn’t see it.”
“That’s the thing. I didn’t need to see it back then.
I knew I was different, but I was the ballplayer.
A guy’s girl. I didn’t need dates when I was hanging out with you and Dusty most nights.
That was where I wanted to be anyway. It only became a problem when I was interested in guys, and I had no idea where to go from there. ”
“Listen, I’ll admit, it does help that you have two eyebrows now, but—” He laughed and flinched backward when I poked his side. When we had settled again, he continued, his mouth near my ear. “But you were bigger than life. Your hair. Your personality. You were just fine, Tuck. I promise.”
“Thanks for all your help this summer,” I said, sinking into this cozy haze he’d created between us.
“Do I get paid extra if I get you dates? Because I had only been teaching you for a couple weeks, and you got a date and a kiss. My track record is impeccable.”
“A bad kiss, apparently.”
“You think you’ll go out with Easton again, in Boise?”
“Maybe.”
“Why Boise, by the way?”
I shrugged. “I just need out of Eugene. The office manager position seemed like a good fit, so I took it. I know it’s a long shot to get the photography job, but I want it. I feel like it’s exactly the change I need.”
“I just never figured you for a city girl.”
“It will be fine. It doesn’t have to be forever.”
We sat in silence for a bit while Jimmy walked us gently up a steep incline.
“Is Sophie with your mom?” I asked.
“My mom’s working tonight. She’s staying with Cade and Kels.”
“Has she done that before?”
“No. I’m hoping it goes okay. She was excited to have a sleepover with the twins.”
I smiled. “They’re so cute with her.”