Chapter 4
CHAPTER FOUR
JO
“Jo, are you listening?” Amara snapped her fingers attempting to get my attention. If her frown was any indication, it wasn’t the first time she had tried.
I felt bad. My cousin was my best friend, but between her being a newlywed and me trying to hide my news, we hadn’t had much time together. Earlier, she had showed up at my office with lunch and said we were going to catch up.
If she hadn’t dangled blondies in front of me, I would have made an excuse to skip out on lunch.
“You’ve been so distracted lately.”
“Sorry,” I sighed.
I wanted to share with her last week that I had discovered I was pregnant, but I was still wrapping my head around it. Of the many times we were together, we went without protection only once. Putting that aside, I was on the pill. The attorney in me wanted to sue someone’s ass.
There had been an overwhelming amount to process. I’m going to be a momma.
A single mom at that.
From the moment I saw the plus sign, I knew I wanted to have this baby. Parenthood was going to be a lonely road because I haven’t heard from Ryan in over three months.
After our last visit, there were some phone calls. Then a text — even though the man hated texting, he texted — saying he would be out of touch for a couple of weeks, then nothing.
And I just don’t mean anything to him. His visits to Chase stopped too. I couldn’t probe too deeply, but what I was able to get from Amara as that Ryan hadn’t reached out to his buddy in months either.
Not my circus, not my monkey.
I had to figure out how I was going to raise this child, which included putting on my big-girl pants and telling my parents, my old-fashioned parents. They are going to want to know who got me in the ‘family way’. I don’t want to tell them or anyone, for that matter.
Ryan and I weren’t even a couple. He didn’t owe me anything. At least, that was what I kept telling myself.
Snap, snap. Amara’s fingers were inches from my face.
“Okay, spill. I just threatened to eat all your brownies, and you were so lost in thought you didn’t object.”
“I’ve got a lot on my plate right now, but I promise we’ll catch up soon.”
“You know what? We need a girls’ night. I say after work we drive over to Chesterville and see Nancy. Then you can tell us what’s up.”
Nancy was like family. We’d all known each other our entire lives.
Like my cousin, she owned a restaurant. It was the only Chinese cuisine for miles.
The thought of her garlic spareribs and ginger beef seemed like the best idea in the world.
Maybe it was just what I needed — my girls, good food, and to unburden my secrets.
I felt bad. I’d kept a lot from them. They had no idea I’d held onto my virginity for thirty-five years or that I had hooked up with Ryan. Keeping things close to my vest was a skill I’d gotten fantastic at.
“Sure.” I nodded. It was time.
My cousin clapped. I wondered how she would feel later when I let the cat outta the bag.
“Hey, are you sure you can get away? I don’t think Chase would allow you out of his sight.”
“That man.” A grin took over my cousin’s face before it disappeared. “Well, I was hoping Ryan being in town would keep him busy enough that, he wouldn’t mind.”
I had something smart to say about how lovesick they had been acting, but the mention of Ryan made me forget what I was going to say. He was in town. In my town. All the things I had convinced myself of went out the window. Turned out I did care that he hadn’t contacted me.
“Ryan? It had been a minute since he was around.” I tried to sound casual but doubted I was pulling it off.
“Yup. We weren’t expecting him, but he rolled in this morning. He is staying at my cottage.”
The same cottage I was hoping to buy from my cousin to raise my baby. Well, once I told her I was pregnant. The thought of him being there pissed me off.
To stop myself from asking any more questions, I picked up one of the roast beef sandwiches Amara had brought and took a bite. Damn, she could cook.
Amara called Nancy and arranged our plans for the night. “Now that I’m done, I’m going to shoot the Wrangler a message.”
Ten minutes later, I heard his voice in the waiting area.
“Good afternoon, Chase. Let me guess, you are looking for your wife,” my receptionist greeted him.
“Good afternoon to you too, Selma. I sure am.”
“She is back in Jo’s office having lunch.”
Selma gave Chase treatment that was only reserved for family.
“You aren’t going anywhere tonight,” I whispered to Amara.
“I am. He isn’t the boss of me.”
“If you say—” My words died when I heard what Chase said next.
“You remember Ryan?”
“I do. Good afternoon, Ryan.” Selma sounded very friendly.
Huh.
I hadn’t heard the voice in months, but my body did not react as if months had passed. My heart thundered. I wasn’t ready to see him, but I didn’t have a choice. They were heading to my office.
“Hey Jo,” Chase greeted before making a beeline for his wife.
“Hey, Chase,” I said, but he didn’t seem to hear me; his focus was entirely on Amara.
Chase took her hands and pulled her from her chair, drawing her close until their bodies were pressed together. “What's this I hear about you taking off and leaving me for the night?”
“I’m not leaving you, Wrangler, just giving you and Ryan space to catch up.”
I would have enjoyed the exchange if I hadn’t felt eyes boring into me, but I refused to look in his direction.
Chase turned to Ryan. “Did you want to braid each other’s hair and gossip like a bunch of teenage girls tonight?”
“Don’t you drag me into this. That is between you and your wife,” Ryan chuckled.
It must be nice not to have a worry in the world and to be so carefree.
“Are you done with lunch? I think we should go back to your office and discuss your outing,” Chase suggested.
“Sure. Jo, I’ll call you and tell you what time we head to Chesterville.”
The two of them were so focused on each other that they didn’t bother to look back at the other occupants they left behind.
Well, I suppose I couldn’t put off acknowledging Ryan any longer.
I turned in his direction, only to find that he had just closed my office door.
With the audacity reserved only for members of the species with sticks and berries between their legs, he locked the door.
How dare this man lock the door to my office as if it belonged to him? I maintained a calm demeanour, suppressing the emotions that surged within me. I attempted to keep the panic out of my voice. “Was there a reason you felt the need to lock my door?”
“It has been a while.”
I scoffed internally. That was an understatement if I ever heard one, but I held my tongue.
Ryan had no business looking as good as he did, especially after his disappearing act. Looking all sinful in his black Levi’s and matching fitted dress shirt. He didn’t appear to be injured, so, that wasn’t the reason for his disappearance.
The silence didn’t seem to sit well with him. He tapped his hat against his thigh.
“I was hoping we could talk.” Somehow, it sounded like a command rather than a suggestion.
“While I’m not opposed to talking with you, now isn’t a good time. I’m in the middle of my workday.” Could I have moved some things around to make time for Ryan? Probably. Definitely. But why would I extend a courtesy he hadn’t bothered to give me?
Yes, I knew I am pregnant with his baby, but I wasn’t ready to share the news with him. Not yet.
Ryan lifted an eyebrow as he surveyed the remnants of the lunch on my desk.
I didn’t owe him an explanation, but one fell from my lips.
“I wasn’t expecting a visit from Amara. The break I took to spend time with her has put me behind schedule.
If I have any hope of getting out of the office on time today, I need to get back to work. ”
“I did not intend to interrupt your workday. My plan was to wait until your office hours were over. I wanted to explain why I have been MIA.”
“Well, maybe we can do it another time,” I said, cleaning up my desk.
“Jo, I’ll be around until we have time to talk.”
What the hell was I supposed to say to that declaration? “Then I guess I will see you around.”
“Count on it.” He tapped my desk. “See you later, Jo.” Then, he left, leaving my door open.
A moment passed before I steadily got out of my chair and closed, then locked, my office door. That visit could have been handled better. Why didn’t I just hear him out? Or, better yet, tell him I was pregnant?
I felt completely out of my depth. After a lifetime of carefully planning my life, everything was out of control. I hadn’t even gone to the doctor to confirm my pregnancy. The only evidence I had was the positive test. It was time I made an appointment.
An hour after telling Ryan I couldn’t talk to him because of my heavy workload, I left the office early. Good thing I worked for myself. As luck would have it, my doctor was able to fit me in at the last minute.
“A positive home test and another one here in the office, Jo, you’re pregnant.” Dr. Erickson smiled at me indulgently. I’d known him my entire life. I was comfortable discussing all my medical questions with him.
“Shouldn’t we wait for the blood test to be sure?”
Dr. Erickson chuckled. “If it makes you feel better, we can, but I want you to start on prenatal vitamins right away. You’re over 10 weeks along.
We will load you up with information to get you started on the road to motherhood.
The blood test will give us a picture of the health of you and the baby.
We will refer you for a sonogram. How are you feeling? ”
It was a damn good question.
On the way home, I ran into Amara. “Hey Jo, I stopped to talk to you, and I heard you played hooky. Where did you get off to?”
“Oh, I had an errand. Come on up.”
I slid my key into the lock of the door leading upstairs to my place, and my folder with all the pamphlets and forms from the doctor slipped from my hand.
“Oh crap,” I murmured.
They seemed to float to the floor in slow motion. I rushed to pick them up, but before I could stop her, my cousin bent down to help me retrieve the papers.
She stood up, clutching one of the forms I needed to complete.
“Jo? What is this? Are you pregnant!?”
Christ, Amara’s voice was clear, and it carried.
“Shh!” I pressed my hand to my lips, trying to gather all the papers by myself because Amara hadn’t resumed helping. She stood over me with her hands on her hips.
“Are you?” she repeated.
“Let’s go inside and talk about it,” I snapped.
We lived in a small town, and news spread like wildfire. I hadn’t seen anyone around, but people had a way of popping out of the woodwork. No sooner had I thought that than a pair of well-worn, distinctly masculine black boots came to a halt directly in my line of sight.
My first thought was, Please let this be Chase. He was the only person I could think of who wouldn’t ‘share’ my news. I didn’t even want to think of what would happen if it were someone else. Especially…
“Um, hey, Ryan.” I heard Amara greet him.
It was as if I had summoned him.
My heart felt like it plummeted to my feet. Why was this my life? His hand reached down and grabbed a pamphlet. With the last piece of documentation gathered, I slowly got to my feet. I wanted to be anywhere but here.
Ryan handed me the glossy pregnancy passport, but he didn’t let go when I took hold of it. Jesus, something fierce flashed in his eyes before it disappeared.
“Jo.” That one word identified his look… it was accusation.
“Thanks.” My voice was louder than I intended.
He tipped his hat. “Ladies.” He nodded and continued down the road.
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
With unsteady hands, I opened my door. At that point, I didn’t care whether Amara followed me.
Ryan knew I was pregnant.
I continued up the stairs and dumped everything on my counter. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs! God, a glass of wine would be so perfect. However, it wasn’t an option, not with a baby growing inside me. I didn’t need to read the literature I’d been given to know that.
“Jo?” Amara called softly.
I shrugged her off and ignored the hurt in her expression. “Please give me a moment,” I told her gently.