Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
RYAN
I didn’t let Jo know about my change of plans.
The last message I sent her was that my connecting flight was delayed, and I wasn’t sure when I could fly out.
So, we were both surprised when I arrived home in the wee hours of the morning.
I thought Jo would be asleep, but she was up in our bedroom watching one of her Housewives of Somewhere shows.
I could hear the women’s voices and Jo giving them the business.
“Oh, my God!” she screeched as I pushed open the bedroom door and stepped into our room.
“Texas!?” Jo sat up from where she was curled on my side of our bed.
“Hey, Sunshine,” I greeted.
She leaped out of bed and into my arms, her eyes wide with surprise.
“What are you doing here? Did your flight get cancelled? Why didn’t you call?
” Her voice trembled, and I could see the mix of joy and confusion in her expression.
For a moment, I forgot everything else—the long journey, the exhaustion.
All I could focus on was the way her arms clung to me, as if I might disappear again.
“Let’s sit, and I’ll answer all your questions.” I guided her gently, my hands steady as I walked her backward until her legs brushed against the edge of the chair. I spun her around and pulled her into my lap, her warmth pressing against me in a way that felt like home.
We had so much to discuss, but her nearness was a magnet I couldn’t resist. I leaned in and captured her lips in a kiss that made the world outside disappear. For a moment, I forgot why I had come home—all that mattered was this.
Reluctantly, I pulled away, pressing my forehead to hers. Her breath mingled with mine, brushing gently against my cheek, a quiet reminder of the connection we shared.
“I came back home so we can talk.”
Jo pulled back slowly so our eyes met. “Is this your version of ‘we need to talk?’”
“Yes.”
“What about?” She nibbled her bottom lip nervously, her teeth grazing the tender skin. With a loud pop, she released it, and a smile curled her lips.
“My real reason for going to South Dakota.”
Her smile faded, and her body tensed in my lap. “What do you mean, ‘real reason’?”
“I needed to visit Andy Harvey at Silver Creek. I’ve gone there in the past to deal with some of the shit I struggled to handle on my last mission. Being at the ranch and having his support meant a lot.”
I’d spoken to Jo about being a Ranger but kept to anecdotal stories about training.
The darker side of deployment remained unspoken.
I told her about the time we had to navigate a treacherous mountain trail during training, laughing about how one of the guys tripped and rolled halfway down the hill.
But the memory of a night in the desert, when we lost a teammate during an ambush, stayed buried, its weight pressing down like the unforgiving heat of that endless night, haunting me in silence.
“What…shit?” Her voice filled with concern, and her eyes widened, searching, as if trying to read my thoughts.
“Insurgents captured and held me.”
“You mean you were taken as a hostage?”
I swallowed, the dryness in my throat making it hard to speak.
Then I nodded and cleared my throat, my hands trembling slightly as I steadied myself.
“Yes.” The term ‘prisoner of war’ (POW) was technically accurate, but I despised it.
It brought back memories of a time when I felt weak and vulnerable, trapped in a cycle of fear and helplessness.
The weight of those days still clung to me, a shadow I couldn’t shake off, heavy and suffocating like the damp, musty air of the cell where I had been held.
I wasn’t physically tortured like some hostages. Mostly, I was starved and deprived of water. Kept in a dank, dark cell, the air was thick with the stench of rot and decay.
Jo listened as I briefly recounted my time in captivity, sharing just enough to convey the emotional weight without overwhelming her.
I wanted her to see my scars, not as barriers between us, but as part of my journey—a testament to resilience rather than a focus on the pain.
My hope was that she could see past the hurt, embrace the person I had become, and understand that while those experiences shaped me, they didn’t define me.
“My treatment could have been worse. They didn’t risk abusing an officer, but the enlisted man captured with me endured far worse. That was the hardest part—knowing there was nothing I could do to protect a Ranger entrusted to my care.”
“How did you…how do you cope after going through something so traumatic?”
“Therapy and being at Silver Creek helped me climb out of the darkness. They gave me the tools to get my life back. But sometimes the heaviness weighed down on me, and it became too much.”
She pulled me in for a hug, her arms wrapping around me tightly, and I could feel the warmth of her sympathy. “Oh, Texas. I’m so sorry,” she said, her voice soft and filled with genuine concern. “Thank you for sharing this with me. I’m sorry you didn’t feel you could tell me before.”
“Is this why you haven’t been sleeping well lately?”
“Yes.” I looked away, avoiding her gaze. “You noticed.” It hadn’t occurred to me that she had picked up on my restlessness.
She reached out, her hand hesitantly brushing against my arm, her touch warm and fleeting. “I should have because I care about you,” she said, her voice soft and laced with concern.
“I know. Moving forward, we’ll be transparent with each other.” I took a deep breath, steadying myself.
“Do you feel… what’s the word…triggered often?”
“No, I’ve actually been doing really well.” I leaned back in the chair and rubbed her back. “It had been over three years since I last felt overwhelmed by the memories.”
“Three years?” She paused, her expression thoughtful, as if reflecting on my words. “Is that why you disappeared for those four months and I didn’t hear from you?”
“Yes. One moment, I was looking toward the future, my heart light with the possibility of asking if we could give a relationship a chance. The next, nightmares consumed me, drowning me in a suffocating darkness that erased all hope.”
“Thinking of being in a relationship with me triggered you so badly?” she asked, her voice soft, almost hesitant.
“No,” I said, offering her a small smile. “You didn’t trigger me. It’s just… moving on with my life, finding happiness—it made me feel like shit knowing the Ranger who was taken with me is still struggling all these years later.”
Her brow furrowed, and I could see the concern in her eyes. “Why? Can’t the place you mentioned help him like they helped you?”
“They can and do,” I explained, my voice heavy with the weight of it all. “But he struggles with addiction. When he relapses, and I hear about it… it messes with my head, like it has been over the last few months.”
She nodded slowly, taking it in. “I see.”
“Jo, you and RJ—you’re my world,” my voice hitched, raw with emotion.
“I know.” Dipping her head to break eye contact, she spoke in a voice barely above a whisper. “You are my everything too.”
“I love you, Jo,” my declaration spilled out before I could stop it. “You are the love of my life.”
She looked up at me, her eyes glistening. “Texas.” The silence between us stretched, heavy with unspoken emotions. “You make me happy,” she said finally. “What we have really works.”
“Uh-huh,” I murmured, reaching out to take her hand. “I’m not going to keep quiet about how I feel about you anymore. I’m going to Love You Out Loud.”
Her eyes widened slightly. “You’ve hidden how you felt?”
“Not hidden; I hope I’ve shown you when the words didn’t come. I’ve kept it to myself because I didn't want to rock the boat or send you running for the hills. Sunshine, you’re like a skittish mare when it comes to admitting your feelings.”
“This is hard. It's all so foreign to me.”
“For me too, but the good thing is we have each other, and we can get through anything together. You know that, don’t you?” I pressed.
“Texas, if things get tough for you, you won’t disappear for an extended time again and leave RJ and me without communication, will you?”
“No. And I know this is more than a day and many dollars short, but I’m sorry I left and didn’t reach out for months, just when things between us were starting to get good. I came back for you, and then I found out you were pregnant, and I never made amends for my disappearing act.”
“That’s not true. You’ve been amazing, but part of me has been waiting for the other shoe to drop, for you to leave again.”
“Shit, Sunshine, I’ve made you feel like that this entire time? You deserve so much better than living with that uncertainty. I’m going to step up and do better. I promise to make it right by you.”
I pulled her into a tight hug, and my heart soared when I heard the four words I’d been waiting for. “I love you, Texas.”
The air between us shifted, heavy with emotion and the weight of unspoken fears finally laid to rest. The vulnerability in her voice, the rawness of her confession, made my chest ache.
I had caused her pain, and the thought of it twisted something deep inside me.
But now, as she held me close, I felt the first stirrings of hope—a fragile, precious thing that I would protect at all costs.
My heart was full. I wanted to slide into the warmth of the woman I loved, who loved me back. The declaration was everything.
I stripped her of her pyjama shorts and tank top, my hands tracing her curves as I kissed my way down her body.
With every touch, I worshipped her, claiming every inch of her as my own as we made love in a moment of pure passion.
Her body arched under my touch, her breath quickening with every caress.
I lost myself in the rhythm of our connection, each moment intensifying the bond between us.
Together, we surrendered to the passion, our love a flame that burned brighter with every heartbeat.
“I’m going to take a shower so we can get to bed. Maybe we can grab a few hours before we have to get up.”
With RJ away at a sleepover with Ashleigh, we could enjoy some time alone together and celebrate the new chapter in our relationship.
“While I’m showering, can you grab my phone for me, please? I left it on the table near the door,” I asked Jo.
I planned to shoot Andy a message and let him know my trip would be delayed.
My shower was quick, so I got myself clean and ready for bed in no time. I wanted to pull my Sunshine into my arms and fall asleep.
When I got out of the shower, Jo was sitting at the edge of the bed.
I couldn’t read her expression, and after everything we shared, that was the last thing I was expected.
The fuck.
She slapped my phone into my palm. “I didn’t mean to look, but a message came in for you.”
Jo was being cryptic, and I didn’t like it.
“Was it from Andy at Silver Creek?”
“No, not exactly,” she hedged, her brow furrowed.
“I took my phone from her and saw a message from Sally-Lois.” Her number wasn’t saved in my phone.
If she hadn’t started the message with, “Hi, this is Sally-Lois,” I wouldn’t have had a clue who it was from.
I didn’t have her number saved. My first thought was that something must be wrong with Big Terry.
There were many words, but the inappropriate picture of Sally-Lois in Daisy Duke shorts, her flimsy tank top barely covering her flat chest as she leaned provocatively over a bale of hay, was more than disturbing—it shattered my focus entirely.
“Ugh.” I hurled my phone across the room in disgust. “What the hell was that?”
Jo smiled for the first time since I had stepped out of the shower. “You didn’t request the sexy barn photoshoot pics from the blonde?”
“She’s blonde?” Honestly, I didn’t pay Sally-Lois any mind, but that would change. Sally-Lois, Big Terry and I would have words over her messed-up behaviour. “I don’t know what makes her think she can send a picture like that to me.”
Jo retrieved my phone, and as she was about to hand it to me, I shook my head and pleaded, “Do me a solid and erase that picture off my phone, will ya?”
“Okay. By the way, Sally-Lois’s message said she was taking her shot because she heard you were coming into town alone and figured you and I were through, so it was high time you knew how she felt.”
I didn’t know where to begin to unpack that kind of crazy. Most times I visited the Broken Stone Ranch, Jo and RJ were with me, but my visits back there became fewer and farther in between. So, I don’t know how Sally-Lois put two and two together and got nine.
“She figured wrong,” I huffed.
“You’ve never noticed her making moon eyes at you?”
“I don’t notice her at all, but I’m going to call her and set her straight right now. That shit is unacceptable.”
“You don’t have to call her now; you can wait until the morning.”
“Fine, but I’m going to set her ass straight. I’m a married man. I didn’t ask for her weird-ass pictures. Jesus. I’ve been through enough. I served my country and all.”
“Aww, sorry the horny lady harassed you.” Jo patted my bare chest, right above where I had tattooed RJ’s first footprints on my chest.
“Come on, let’s get into bed and let me hold you and put the nightmare picture behind me.”
“You get into bed. I have to get something. I will be right back,” she called, already retreating to her walk-in closet.
Jo was gone for a while, and I drifted off to sleep before she joined me. I pulled her into my arms without opening my eyes and asked, “What was so important that it couldn’t wait until morning?”
“I kept waiting for the perfect time to wear the solitaire along with my wedding band.”
My eyes flew open.
Jo continued, “Tonight felt like the perfect time.”
Since the night I gave her the rings, I hadn’t put pressure on Jo to wear it.
I had faith that when the time was right, she would put it on, and it would mean as much to her as it meant to me.
I couldn’t be happier that we had finally reached that stage.
We clung to each other even when neither of us could declare our truest feelings. I smiled.
“You got the timing perfect, Sunshine.”
“Thank you for being so patient with me, Texas.”
It was like I told her in the beginning; Kays don’t get divorced.
The End
Thanks for reading Book Sixteen of the Silver Creek Ranch series! Up next is Riding Dirty In Denim by J Nell! Make sure you snag the next book today!