Chapter 19
Chapter
Nineteen
MAX
It’s only been a few days since my near escape. When I allowed the heir to pin me, take from me, as I gave into our bond—my desire. My body still bears the marks of my time in the woods and I can’t help the blush when I remember it.
It was brutal, feral and I want more of it. I may not fully trust Kaden, but I can’t deny how much my body—my soul—misses him.
Regardless of how I feel, I’ve been regulated to the training room or the gardens with the royal siblings with their constant surveillance. Not even servants are allowed in my rooms without one of them present.
The heir is absent from all of this.
I understand the risk Zelos presents to me, but this all feels a bit much.
They are terrified of his retribution, and I would be wise to listen to their concerns.
But the suffocation, the need to act is strong in my blood.
Kaden said I have a habit of running head first into danger and although the description is extreme, he’s not wrong.
Luckily, today, Fee was needed elsewhere, and Reid was nowhere to be seen.
When I dropped the sword, hair flying around, pale face red, I asked her, “Why?”
Rolling her eyes, the warrior sheathed her sword. “Princess duties, unfortunately.” Then she dumped me back in my sitting room with a lethal glare. “Stay.”
Bristling at the command, I wait until she’s gone to retreat to my bedroom, stripping for a bath.
The water isn’t warm when I get in, but the coldness soothes the red spots and the various cuts from her teachings.
It also reminds me of the cool spring we bathed in when I lived in the Blackwoods Coven.
My heart winces. It’s been weeks since I heard from them. Before, I worried if they thought I had abandoned them. Now I worry if they’ve forgotten me.
I don’t waste time, rushing out of the bath and dressing into a light dress. It’s nothing as scandalous as my first night in these rooms, but just as thin, deep charcoal grey silk, spun softly. It ripples over my curves, off the shoulder and tight to the bodice with a long slit along my leg.
My hair hangs in soft waves around my shoulder as I grab the necklace the royals insist on me wearing. I know it belonged to his mother, but Zelos is frightened by it. Whatever power it wields, I’ll use it. It might keep me alive.
Once I slip on my shoes, I take off into the direction of the library. I’ve been here on a brief tour with Fee but I want to explore it on my own.
Escaping through words was the only peace I had in the Blackwoods Coven.
When the villagers were busy during the day and I tried to sleep away the sounds of their blood in my ears, and I used the nights to read.
Reading about faraway adventures, seeing romance unravel, I encased myself in the fantasy.
I thought that was the closest I would get to enjoying it.
Because who would want a monster like me?
Gods’ will had different plans.
The large black doors loom over me, like most of the entryways in the palace. Another horrible scene, another reminder of the Dark Fae and their brutality.
They open on loud hinges and I take in the wide, expansive room, full of black wooded bookshelves and a high chandelier full of ebony candles.
The room, much like the rest of the palace, has black tiled floors and richly painted walls.
A crackling fireplace surrounded by raven-colored stones takes up most of the room in the back, surrounded by a few large leather chairs.
The atmosphere feels of magic, darkness and the subtle quietness of wisdom.
The air is heavy with parchment and books as I step in, eying the tall shelves, the leather-bound tomes all various shades of black, grey and burgundy. They call to me, asking to be read. My fingers drift over their edges, nails catching on the ends as this simple walk eases my internal worry.
Keeping away from the crackling fireplace, I scan the room.
Books big and small, some so large they’re as big as my body stare back at me and I smile, mesmerized.
I’ve never had this many books at my disposal.
Back in the Coven, getting books was a rarity.
I didn’t have money and could only earn when I helped elderly witches in their gardens.
Whatever extra I had, I saved for a book when a trader would come by.
Which wasn’t often.
This is my wildest dreams come true. Solitude, stories and time.
In the far corner of the library, a glinting glass dome catches my attention.
Moving, I take in the oddness of it. There’s a book alone, shielded under the glass. Is it fragile, delicate? Perhaps worn from time and therefore fragile?
Peering down, it’s a ruby red, pristine and protected, with fine scrollwork along the edges. The gold shimmers under the glass, and a soft rose graces the cover, so lightly painted, I almost miss it.
It’s gorgeous, but strange for it to be displayed this way.
“It’s the Rose Noire,” Fenrir explains, coming over my side. I glance back, his tall form gliding over the black tiles as if he skates over ice. “A curious thing. It’s been locked up since I was a boy.”
“You’ve been here since you were young?”
He stops at my side, peering down into the glass. “Yes. My mother, Queen Aoife, and Kaden’s mother were close friends. I spent many days here.”
I take in the Woodland Fae, hand itching to grab my dagger. He’s tall, like most Fae are, but his pale hair is stark against the gothic room, his white linen shirt and beige pants too bright, too simple. His green eyes glance to me and back. “Have you heard the legend?”
“Legend?” My interest is piqued, but I don’t dare move closer. “What legend?”
Fee and Reid have drilled moves, defensive stances, and swordplay into my body for days because this court is dangerous. Everyone is a threat. I won’t be caught off guard.
But I am curious.
“They say the book is cursed,” he gestures to it, stepping away. “Legend says the book holds the key to transformation. It will change anyone, or anything, who touches it into some despicable creature. It’s been locked away, under glass, ever since.”
“Seems like an innocent tale.” I move closer. The rose shines, gold changing into black ink before my eyes. They remind me of the shadows Kaden controls, wrapping, moving, like inky tentacles.
“But one that scared the previous kings too much.” Fenrir sighs, sliding his hands into his pockets.
“So here it remains. My mother knows of the tale but thinks it’s all fabricated.
” Green eyes cut to me and scan my body.
“I’ve seen little of you during our stay here.
I expected the future queen to be in more of the discussions as we prepare for war.
Kaden’s mother certainly would have been there. ”
I bristle under his condescending tone. Who is he to judge me? I’m still trying to understand my being here more so than understand my role as queen.
Am I weapon or a mate? Am I a threat or a future queen? No one has explained anything and the one Fae I want to speak to has been gone for days.
I glare into his grassy eyes, and almost, foolishly, I think I can hear the faintest drum of his blood in my ears. Gods, I wish that were true.
“Royal duties to attend to,” I explain, lying. He doesn’t deserve the truth. Nor my kindness. “I assume Kaden has been there in my stead.”
“Of course.” He nods, following me as I turn to look back at the shelves. My plan was to find a book but now I have a shadow following me. “He’s always present, even as a young Fae. I think war is all he knows.”
Knowing that Zelos trained him to be just that—a warrior, a weapon like he wants with me—it makes sense. I just don’t like the insinuation that he isn’t more than that. Not from Fenrir.
I’ve seen it, small bits of light under his darkness. When he defended me to the lords in camp, when he fed me so I wouldn’t be poisoned, when he followed me into the fury’s nest.
Even here. He’s tied our lives to give me protection no one else would dare to do. He chose me over his duty. He may not be pleasant but he’s done many things for me.
I just wish I knew the secrets he hides, why he’s refusing to give me to Zelos. Why this, between us, is happening. What don’t I know? Because there must be something happening that the siblings, that Kaden will not explain. Something big.
“You knew each other in your youth?” I ask, keeping the conversation light. Or maybe to gain more insight into the mysterious male.
“We did,” he reminisces, smiling. “We used to train together, though I admit, he was better with a sword than me.” The lack of callouses on his hands says plenty. “We used to run these halls together. Fee always followed; Mal behind. We were very close. Then things changed.”
My curiosity stops me, glancing back as the Woodland Fae inspects a book to his right.
“What changed?”
Fenrir’s kind green eyes look to me and sorrow fills them. “Sose. She changed things.”
I’ve heard the name and Kaden has been less than receptive to it. Fenrir is willing, maybe I can gleam some insight from the male?
“Who was Sose?”
Confusion draws his brow lower. “I assumed you knew. Sose was Kaden’s first fiancée.”
My heart thumps in my chest, the bond burning bright. Jealousy so strong sweeps through my veins, turning my vision green as the air traps in my lungs. Like a dagger has been shoved into my heart, I inhale against the pain.
“I had no idea,” I rasp. Why does everything hurt? “He never talked about her.”
He scoffs, leading me further down the hall, grabbing another book, this one’s cover discolored from age. “No, why would he? It’s hard to talk about the woman you loved and killed.”
I trip, catching myself against the bookshelf. “What?”
Fenrir nods, thumbing the book’s pages. The harsh scent of dust floats into the air, tickling my nose, but he doesn’t look at me as he speaks.
“Kaden killed Sose. It’s probably why he doesn’t speak of her.
” He shrugs. “I use every opportunity to bring her up. Not to spite the heir but as a way to remember her. She deserved more. She was the love of my life.”
Licking my lips, my hand falls to my stomach. Bile rises up my throat, but I’m confused. He killed his love? That couldn’t be right.
But I’ve seen his darkness, beside his light, a duality only I understand. Kaden will do anything to obtain his goal.
Did she stand in the way of what he wanted? Like I am now? Preventing him from controlling the world?
“I should go. Things to attend to,” I explain, focusing on my breathing. Did I sell my trust to a male who would still use me? He already lied to me, betrayed me once before. Would this be another way to gain access to my magic, to my destiny, to control the world by lulling me into false security?
If he killed someone he loved, he could certainly find a way to harm me, bond be damned.
I don’t bother to wait for Fenrir as I dart through the rows of shelves to find the Fae who holds my life in his hands.