Chapter 27
Chapter
Twenty-Seven
“You don’t have to be here right now.”
“She’s unconscious.” Loren pulled his shadows close around him, forcing himself to ignore how they stretched back the way they had come—back towards her. “Has he said anything about what happened?”
Finn glanced over at the fire where Caela was fussing over Kai. Someone had brought him a clean shirt, and he’d scrubbed most of the blood from his skin. But his gaze was still hollow, the horror of what had happened written across his face.
“Not more than he said earlier,” Finn said. “But I can handle this, Loren. Go back to your mate.”
Yes, the shadows hissed, a furious chorus. Go back. You should be with her—
“Serafina doesn’t need us underfoot,” he said.
It was a part-truth, at best. But Loren couldn’t tell Finn what had really driven him from Araya’s side.
That the guilt of his failure threatened to crush him when she looked up at him, her beautiful silver eyes struggling to focus like she didn’t really believe he was there.
She hadn’t been able to feel him. Couldn’t take comfort or strength in their bond—because he’d blocked it.
Your guilt does nothing for her, the shadows hissed, lashing against his legs. You leave her alone when she needs you most—
“I’m more use to you here than I am to her right now,” Loren said, speaking over the shadows. “I can’t help Serafina heal her, but I can help plan a defense to whatever response the Arcanum will make.”
Finn eyed him sidelong. “Serafina is going to eat you alive,” he said finally. “Come on.”
Caela looked up as they approached, her face pinched with worry. “Kai,” she shook his shoulder gently. “Loren and Finn are here.”
Kai glanced up, a flicker of awareness in his hollow gaze as he glanced between them. “Is she alright?”
Loren swallowed hard. “Serafina is still working on her,” he said. “There was...a lot of damage.”
Kai nodded, his expression miserable. “I would have stopped it if I’d been there,” he said, echoing his words from earlier. “I swear, Loren. I did my best to protect her.”
Protecting her is your duty, the shadows muttered. One you neglect yet again.
“You got her to us.” Finn clapped Kai on the shoulder, taking the seat beside him. “I just need you to tell us a little bit more about what happened. How did you get out?”
Kai’s face paled. “I don’t—” he shuddered, his throat bobbing.
“I don’t understand it. But there were vines everywhere.
Attacking the Arcanum soldiers. They ripped through the wall.
Killed Caylin.” He cleared his throat, his voice rough.
“Jaxon ran by, shouting for the healers, so I went looking for her.”
Finn glanced at Loren. “And then what?” he pushed. “You just walked out with her?”
“Not exactly.” Kai took a deep breath, visibly steeling himself. “Garrick had her. He was…taunting her. I tried to convince him to let me take her. Told him I’d take her back to Jaxon’s tent. But…he wouldn’t let her go.”
“Then how did you get her out?” Loren asked, a trace of impatience creeping into his voice. “Should we be expecting Garrick Shaw to come after us at any moment?”
Kai laughed, his voice taking on a hysterical edge. “I’d be surprised,” he said. “Considering I stabbed him and watched the vines close over his body with my own two eyes.”
For a moment, Loren doubted his own ears. Kai couldn’t possibly have—but everyone else was staring at him too, their eyes wide.
“Kai,” Caela said, her voice forcibly calm. “Are you saying you killed Garrick Shaw?”
“I’m not sure if that honor goes to me or the forest, actually.” Kai’s voice was small. “But yes, he’s dead.”
The ground dropped out from under Loren’s feet.
He stumbled back a step, his ears ringing with those words.
The shadows were saying something, their hissing words blending together as they spoke over each other.
Loren couldn’t hear them anyway over the ringing in his ears.
He’d spent twenty-five years in chains because of Garrick Shaw, and now—
Garrick Shaw was dead.
“Loren.” Finn stood, looking at him with concern. “Are you alright?”
Loren sucked in a hard breath. How did he answer that? “I don’t—”
“Loren Shadowbane!”
Serafina’s voice rang out across the clearing, her face twisted with fury as she limped toward the cook fire. Finn jumped to his feet, but she shook him off, her fury trained on Loren.
“How dare you,” she hissed. Loose strands of hair that had escaped her braid haloed her face, Araya’s blood still staining her skin and clothes. “How dare you leave her alone, after everything she’s been through?”
Loren flinched, the shadows’ hissed recriminations echoing in his ears. He must have looked as wrecked as he felt, because some of the anger drained out of Serafina’s expression as she stared at him, her fury softening into something that was almost pity.
“How is she?” he asked.
“I stopped the bleeding,” she said. “But I had to leave her back open. The scarring is going to be…severe. She refused sedation, but—”
“She’s awake?” Loren’s heartbeat pounded in his ears, a cold sweat prickling his skin. She had to be in so much pain.
“She is.” Serafina smiled sadly, her expression shadowed by exhaustion. “And asking for you.”
The words were like a knife to his heart.
“I—” Loren glanced away, not quite able to hold her gaze. “She needs rest, doesn’t she?”
“She needs her mate too.” Serafina frowned. “She needs you.”
“You were ready to fight a war to save her,” Finn said when Loren didn’t answer. “Go to her, Loren. I can handle our defense.”
The shadows hissed, their agreement raking across his mind like claws.
“That’s not—” Loren swallowed hard, closing his eyes. “I’m not worried about our defense. I—” he cleared his throat, suddenly all too aware of everyone’s eyes on him.
Goddess only knew what she’d had to endure. Some of it he could imagine only too well. He had his own nightmares, fueled by twenty-five years of iron and blood and chains and dark, damp stone. But the Arcanum had only ever wanted to break him. Jaxon Shaw had wanted to keep Araya.
“I was too late,” he finished miserably. “I didn’t get to her in time.”
And if she never forgave him for that, he’d deserve it.
“She asked for you,” Serafina repeated, her voice soft. “Your magic will help stabilize her, accelerate her recovery. Don’t abandon her when she needs you the most.”
Loren stared at her, his throat thick with fears he couldn’t give voice to. The shadows pressed against his legs, urging him forward. It was almost too easy to let them. To tell himself that this was for her, not him.
The only light in the cottage came from the fire Serafina had left roaring in the hearth, casting the single room in flickering shadows. Sweat immediately beaded on Loren’s forehead, the hot air damp with steam and perfumed with the pungent scent of the herbs Serafina had used to stop the bleeding.
Araya lay facedown on the heavy wooden table Finn had dragged in front of the fire, her body draped in fresh, clean linen instead of the ruined dress Serafina had cut off her. It stuck to her back in places, the red-tinged cloth rising and falling with every slow, even breath.
Alive. She was alive.
The shadows crept forward, sliding across the floor and wrapping themselves around the legs of the table. Something eased in Loren’s chest as the smallest one parted from the others, brushing her hand before curling itself around her wrist.
At least that was right.
Loren lowered himself onto the stool beside her. The wood creaked under his weight, too loud in the heavy silence. Slowly—half-expecting the shadows to lash out at him—he took her hand in his.
“Ael’sura,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the back of her hand. “I’m here.”