Chapter 30
Chapter
Thirty
“You don’t have to do this if you don’t feel up to it.”
Araya gritted her teeth, biting back the urge to snap at him. She had lost count of how many times he’d said it this morning alone—like she might collapse on the walk from the cottage to the cook fire.
“I feel up to it,” she said.
She did. Physically, at least. As for what the others thought about her—well, she’d find out soon enough. They were all gathered around the cook fire already, eating bowls of the same porridge Loren had brought her earlier and laughing like they’d been friends for years.
“They’re all from Farhallow?” she asked.
“From the rebel movement there,” Loren confirmed. His arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her close. “Good people.”
She didn’t recognize any of them. But then she’d always been careful not to get too invested when she helped Serafina at the clinics. She’d never wanted to learn names or swap sad stories—and she’d always returned to Serafina’s cozy little house and her job at the Aetherium afterward.
Yet another reason it didn’t make any sense that these people had volunteered to come save her.
“Araya!” Serafina looked up from her conversation with a serious, silver-haired female, a wide smile spreading across her face. “I’m so glad you came! Have you met Naeva yet?”
“We haven’t had the pleasure,” the silver-haired female said. She tipped her head, not rising from her seat. “I’m not entirely sure how I’m supposed to greet you,” she said. “Do I bow?”
Heat rushed to Araya’s cheeks. “Please don’t,” she said, laughing nervously.
Loren squeezed her hip. “Don’t worry,” he said lightly. “We aren’t standing on court protocol here. Not one of them ever offered to bow to me.”
“We weren’t sure we liked you,” the golden-blonde female sitting next to Kai called out, sending a wave of laughter across the group.
She grinned widely, rising to her feet in one fluid motion.
“I’m Caela,” she said, extending her hand. “Serafina mentioned you might train with us today.”
Araya hesitantly shook the other female’s hand. “If you’ll have me.”
“Of course we will,” Caela said, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “Everyone is welcome.”
“I thought I’d come too,” Loren said casually.
Araya’s stomach tightened. If he came he’d be checking on her the whole time. Ready to step in the moment she so much as stumbled. She wasn’t sure how much more of it she could bear.
Something must have flickered across her face, because Caela made a thoughtful noise.
“No,” she said briskly. “I’ve changed my mind.
It’s far too difficult to gossip about you if you’re there.
” Her grin took the sting out of her words as she jerked a thumb back toward the cottages.
“Go find something kingly to do instead.”
Loren’s grip on her waist tightened slightly. “I don’t—”
“We do have those logistics to go over,” Finn said. “Caela won’t take her far.”
“Well—” Loren finally looked down at her, the worry in his green eyes twisting something in her chest. “Alright,” he said finally. “If you’re sure. Just don’t overdo it.”
Araya forced a smile, the porridge she’d eaten turning into a stone in her stomach. She could still feel his eyes on her as she stepped away, letting Caela lead her after the chattering knot of fae already making their way into the forest.
After so many weeks of not being able to feel him at all, she should have been grateful for even the pale impression she could feel of him with the sor’vael runes still in place.
But instead she felt further away from him than ever before—like they hadn’t found their way back to each other after all, and maybe they never would.
“Well,” Caela said once the clearing had fallen behind them and only birdsong filled the air, “he’s a little obsessed with you, isn’t he?”
“Ah—” Araya cleared her throat, not quite sure how to answer. “Well, he is my mate.”
“I think it’s romantic,” the younger fae with copper hair and green eyes said. “How did you find out he was your mate? Did you just know?”
“Um…” Araya flushed. “Well. He was still a prisoner when I met him. He forced me to go with him when he escaped—he drugged me.” She stared down at the ground, not quite able to meet any of their eyes.
“I didn’t wake up until we were halfway across the Shadowed Sea.
I wasn’t very happy when I found out he was my mate. ”
“But you’re together now?” the younger fae pressed. “What happened?”
“Brynn,” Naeva scolded. “That’s rude.”
“No—it’s fine.” Araya cleared her throat.
“It’s a natural question.” For a heartbeat she was back on that battlefield, cold mud soaking through the knees of her breeches as she leaned over his fallen body, their bond guttering out like a candle in a gale.
“I claimed him when he almost died,” she said, proud that her voice didn’t shake.
“It took me such a long time to get there…I was terrified it was too late.”
“But he lived?” Brynn asked breathlessly.
Naeva snorted. “Obviously.”
“He did,” Araya forced a tiny smile. “We only got a little bit of time together before the Arcanum captured me. But it was the happiest I’ve ever been.”
That’s why it could never have lasted. People like her and Loren—they didn’t get to be blissfully happy. Not like that.
Brynn sighed dreamily. “See?” She elbowed Naeva. “That’s the kind of love I want.”
“Oh, please,” the silver-haired fae scoffed. “There’s more to life than romance—”
“And if any of us are going to survive long enough for grand love stories,” Caela cut in, “we’re going to need to know how to fight. So let’s get back to work on hand to hand.”
Brynn laughed. “You’re one to talk,” she said. “How is Kai?”
“That’s enough out of you,” Caela waved her off, but her cheeks were pink. “Face off with Naeva today. I’ll work with Araya.”
The two other females broke off, still laughing as they squared up against each other.
They had clearly done this before, falling into a rhythm of attack and parry with little trouble.
Araya watched them, her throat strangely thick.
She’d always thought fae who defied the Arcanum were mad.
There was nothing any one of them could do to stand against them, so any effort not spent on creating a life you could survive was wasted.
But while she’d been petitioning for special permission to study at the Aetherium and apprenticing to Jaxon Shaw, they had been working together in the shadows. Fighting back. Resisting.
“Araya?” Caela’s voice cut gently through her thoughts. “Do you want to pair with me? I’d be happy to show you the basics.”
“Oh—” Araya laughed nervously. “Serafina gave me some stretches to do. I thought I’d stick with that to start.”
“Smart,” Caela agreed with an easy smile. “I’ll be right over there if you change your mind.”
Araya didn’t change her mind that day. Or the next.
She stretched, moving carefully through the patterns Serafina had shown her while doing her best to ignore the curious glances the others gave her.
The skin across her upper back pulled, the thick ridges of scar tissue burning every time she pushed herself a little further, holding the position until her muscles shook and sweat beaded on her forehead.
It was nice to have something to do other than lie around all day, waiting for Loren to slide into bed behind her.
He was always careful not to wake her, never asking for anything beyond the occasional, chaste kisses he dropped on the back of her neck or her bare shoulder when he thought she was asleep.
She wished he would wake her. Wished he would talk to her—fight with her. But Loren still cradled her like she might splinter in his hands if he held her too tightly.
Araya hated it.
Jaxon had hurt her. Caylin had nearly killed her. But she was not fragile.
So on the third day, when Caela asked if she wanted to spar—
Araya said yes.
That night, she collapsed onto her bedroll, falling asleep before Loren returned. Her back ached, her muscles throbbing from overexertion, but she slept harder than she had in weeks, undisturbed by dreams of towering trees and tangled vines splitting moss-covered marble.
“That’s good,” Caela said, circling her slowly. “But you don’t beat someone bigger by charging straight at them. Let them commit. Then use their size against them. Like this—”
Quick as a snake, Caela caught Araya’s wrist mid-step. Araya twisted, trying to use what she’d learned to pull her arm free, but the other female stepped in instead of back, turning her hips and dropping her weight—
The world spun. Sky. Leaves. A flash of golden hair. Then she hit the ground. Hard.
Araya gasped, all of the air leaving her lungs in a rush. She couldn’t hear anything but a thin, high ringing in her ears, green leaves and golden sunlight swimming in and out of focus far above her.
She breathed in, air filling her lungs in a burning gasp.
“Gods, Caela—” Brynn grabbed her hand, hauling her back to her feet. “You threw her clear across the clearing.”
“I’m fine,” Araya wheezed.
Everyone stared at her as she stood, brushing the dirt off her breeches. Araya rolled her shoulders, testing the pull across her back. It ached—but no more than usual.
“Show me how to do it,” she demanded.
Two days later, she could throw Caela just as far—as long as the other female didn’t try too hard to stop her. Araya collapsed beside her at the edge of the cleared area, old leaves sticking to the sweat cooling on her arms.
“You’re getting good at that.” Caela pushed herself up, grabbing a stick from the ground.
“Now—once you have your opponent down, you’ll have maybe two seconds before they recover.
That’s when you want to strike.” She jabbed the stick at Araya’s chest. “Don’t go here—you’re not strong enough to push through the bone.
You have a better chance here—” Araya grunted as Caela poked her in the stomach “—you don’t need strength or precision to strike a killing blow here.
They won’t die immediately, but they won’t be chasing you either. ”
Araya batted Caela’s stick away. “Loren will never let me near a fight,” she admitted. “I couldn’t even pick up the sword when he tried to teach me.”
“Well he probably gave you his sword.” Caela flopped down on the ground beside her. “Males are stupid like that. You’d have an easier time with a long knife.” She pulled out her own, flipping it in her grip. “Here—take mine.”
“Oh—” Araya fumbled, almost dropping the blade. “I couldn’t.”
“I insist.” Caela arched her back, groaning as she stretched. “Why didn’t you learn to fight sooner?”
Araya flushed, looking down as she fumbled to tuck the knife into her belt. “I grew up in Kaldrath,” she said. “There weren’t many fights I could win.”
“Caela grew up at Velgrim,” Brynn offered, dropping to the ground beside them. “But Raelle always says she got in tons of fights.”
Naeva snorted. “That’s because she never learned,” she said. “Araya got a waiver to study at the Aetherium. They don’t give those to fae with a reputation for making trouble.”
Araya stroked the little shadow curled around her wrist. Naeva wasn’t wrong. She’d gotten her waiver by being exactly what the Arcanum wanted—meek and grateful for whatever scraps they gave her. But it wasn’t something that made her proud anymore.
“I thought you’d all hate me for that,” Araya admitted, stroking the little shadow curled around her wrist.
“For getting out of the camps and learning to use your magic?” Naeva snorted. “I’ve always heard that Kaldrath was way worse than Velgrim. They had to shut it down because even the humans were horrified.”
“I had nightmares,” Araya admitted softly. “For a long time.” But something loosened in her chest, a little of the fear she’d felt floating away. “Did you all grow up at Velgrim?”
“Naeva and Caela did,” Brynn offered. “But I grew up in Farhallow after my mother entered the breeding program. I think I was…five? But we’re all together now.
And look what we can do!” Brynn lifted her hand up, letting sparks dance around her fingertips.
“Did any of you ever think we’d have our magic? I didn’t.”
Araya couldn’t help but smile as she watched the last ember fade. “You manifested?”
Brynn grinned proudly. “Fire. I’m still learning to control it. Naeva got precognition and Caela has an affinity for illusions.”
“Are you sure you didn’t get an affinity for talking?” Naeva shoved Brynn’s shoulder, but there was a smile on her face. “What about you?” she asked, nodding to the little shadow curled around Araya’s wrist. “Do you have shadows like Loren?”
“Oh—” Araya glanced down at the little shadow. “No. This is one of his. It just likes to stay with me.”
“But you do have your power, don’t you?” Naeva asked, her amethyst eyes bright with curiosity. “Didn’t you manifest while you were on Eluneth? Thorne told me it’s usually somehow related to what we wanted most when our power was developing.”
For a heartbeat, Araya was back in that square, the screams of the crowd loud in her ears.
“Yes,” she said quietly. “I manifested.”
Brynn leaned forward. “Well don’t keep us in suspense. What is it?”
Araya hesitated. “I didn’t have much time to explore it.
” Power rushing over her like a tidal wave.
Loren’s terrified face as he begged her to let him through.
“Thorne called it shielding. I guess what I wanted most of all when my power was developing was to feel safe,” she said, attempting a smile.
No one laughed.
“You know what I want most right now?” Caela said after a moment. “A proper, steaming hot soak.”
“That sounds wonderful,” Araya said wistfully. She longed to scrub her skin clean. Magic and a rag with a bucket could only do so much. “Too bad there’s no bath here. We’d all have to boil water in Serafina’s kettle.”
Caela glanced at Brynn and Naeva, a wide smile spreading across her face.
“Come with us,” she said, jumping to her feet and extending a hand. “You’re going to love this.”