CHAPTER 23 Birds and Leather
Birds and Leather
After Eravic and the tunnels I was exhausted in every way. I fell into the bed without bothering to change my clothes.
The knock came early.
"Princess." Fiersa's voice. I had come to recognize it.
"Come in," I said calmly.
She held a dress in her hands and looked at me carefully. "You look tired."
"I did not sleep much." Not entirely a lie.
She handed me the dress. Dark brown leather with black straps.
"More leather," I murmured.
"You must wear leather here in Morrath. The creatures cannot tolerate it; it opposes their magic." She lowered her voice. "That is why humans are forbidden from wearing it." A pause. "You are Axar's daughter, so no one will dare question—“
"Adjasar," I said before she could say anything else.
She smiled faintly. "Practically the same thing."
I disagreed but said nothing.
“He is your Adjasar,” she continued. "And you are royalty. And not entirely human given the Alarnan lightcraft. No one will begrudge you leather. But know that some creatures will resent you for it."
I sighed. "Let them resent me then." Before I had been mildly annoyed at having to wear more leather. Now that I knew what it meant to the creatures here I was eager to put it on.
Since awakening, there was something I found mildly enjoyable about irritating those I had no reason to care about.
I started coughing before I could say anything else. Fiersa brought me a basin.
“I did not cough at all last night,” I said. “Maybe the treatment is starting to work.”
“Maybe,” Fiersa said.
Another knock. Before I could say enter, Dali opened the door and stood beside me. She arched an eyebrow at Fiersa. "You can leave, little bird."
I was briefly confused. In truth I had forgotten what sort of creature Fiersa was. Maybe it was something bird-like. Either way I was unsure if Dali had insulted her or not.
Regardless, this was my palace to princess in.
I was a Rathmor, after all.
"I dismiss my own people," I said sharply.
Dali laughed lightly. "What we need to discuss must be private, my princess."
I turned to Fiersa. "I am fine."
She nodded once. "His Royalship Teorin wishes for you to join him at breakfast and awaits your company."
I almost laughed because Royalship was a strange term. But then again, what else did you call a usurper you were being forced to respect?
My stomach growled. I had no desire to eat with Teorin this morning. Perhaps I could eat in my room.
"You must go to breakfast," Dali said with a bored sigh, twirling a strand of hair in her fingers.
"Why?"
She lowered her voice. "Last night he was in good spirits. He came to your room as usual but I lured him back to his chambers and made sure he slept. He startled once and grabbed my shoulder." She gripped me hard to show me.
I pushed her hand away. A purple bruise was already blooming there. "Not necessary. I have two children. I know what a fucking shoulder grip is,” I said sharply.
She smiled as though she didn’t believe me. "Either way, he was occupied. I am fulfilling my part of the bargain. Make sure you fulfill yours."
Fuck. What had I agreed to again?
That I would not interfere. As though I had time to care while I was possibly dying from an unknown poison that had me coughing black mucous.
Before I could respond with the sarcasm her statement deserved, her face began to change and suddenly Maridale stood next to me.
It seemed a bit rude to change mid-conversation but then again, nothing about Dali was pleasant so this was no great loss.
It was still unclear to me if they were two halves of the same person or two separate people in one body.
I thought of Kiss and Ari. They would be drinking their morning milk right about now. Normally I would be the one feeding them, not Cambra. I stared down at my breasts. They were not swollen or painful or leaking.
Death, apparently, affected lactation. I felt a pang with this realization. I wished I could kiss their soft cheeks.
And Colsar. I missed him. He would have plenty of dry, sarcastic thoughts on Dali and would have put her in her place on multiple occasions by now, of this I was certain.
A rush of something warm moved through me at the thought of seeing him again. Telling him everything. I hoped the children were eating well. I hoped he was not spoiling Fiorakis with too much blood.
Just days ago part of me had tried to numb the parts of myself that felt too much. I had gotten good at it over the years. When the Baron beat me, I went numb. When Sevrin starved me, numb. When I waited in Alarna for Colsar, numb again.
Seeing Eravic had made me feel again. Things I did not quite want to make sense of, if I was being completely honest with myself.
And knowing Colsar came to the tunnels, well, hope had arrived. I had hope that I would leave this place. That I would find an antidote and find a way back to Colsar and the children or die trying.
"Asharin." Maridale's voice interrupted my thoughts. I looked at her. Her smile was bright and genuine the way it always was. "I have heard there is a northern courtyard with red flowers and fresh air."
She did not mention fruit. I did not care much for flowers in truth.
Fruit and plants I found interesting. Flowers never held much purpose for me and their color brought me very little joy, only sneezes.
Flowers were the sort of thing that was lovely to look at when problems were light.
I did not mind admiring them but usually it was the person I was walking alongside that I enjoyed more.
Colsar and I had been intimate in Rathmor’s gazebo once. We had hurriedly gotten dressed afterward and he had rushed to a council meeting and when he returned to our chambers I burst into laughter because he had a flower stuck in his hair.
The thought of him being cold and irritable and possibly arrogant while in the council meeting all while a flower was in his hair had made me giggle incessantly until he could not help but laugh himself.
I did not know what sort of flower had been in his hair. But I was quite certain right now that it was the only sort of flower I felt like seeing.
I could not bear to tell her that.
I slipped the dress on as best I could, struggling to pull it up over my breasts. Why must leather be so snug?
"Luncheon in the garden would be lovely," I said, forcing a smile.
She beamed. "Wonderful. Remind me to have the cook give you some provisions to bring Eravic tonight.” She paused. “It is the sisterly thing to do, though in truth the food on the ship is probably far better than what they give us here.”
I thought of the lettuce and flavorless broth they so frequently served.
Apparently, Teorin had been drinking large amounts of blood and had killed off much of the staff Axar had strategically placed in Darkway Palace to lead while he was gone.
Interestingly enough, no one seemed to care.
In fact, if one hadn’t heard Fiersa say his Royalship this morning it would be easy to forget that Darkway Palace was missing both its King and its King Regent and now had a usurper here who admittedly, was likely helping keep me safe from the creatures of Morrath eating me alive.
I had planned on foregoing my visit to Eravic tonight.
I wanted to sit by the tunnels and wait for Colsar instead.
But now I supposed I had no choice. The fact that the ship served better food made me all the more reluctant, but I certainly was not about to disappoint Maridale. Her face looked so hopeful.
Maridale began working the laces of my dress. I almost stopped her, as she was not working in a servant capacity and it felt strange.
But in truth, I did not know how to tie the laces myself. And moreover, she was the one who had dismissed Fiersa.
Well, technically that was Dali, I reminded myself with a twinge of irritation.
Why are you irritated? This would never have irritated you before, Asharin.
Because too many fucked up things have happened in too short a period of time, I answered myself. I am tired of happiness being dangled in my face and then taken away like some sort of twisted toy.
I was more than irritated. I was furious about all of it.
And most of all I was furious that my mother had suffered at the hands of King Orsin. She was dead. He was alive. And I was trapped in the same place he had trapped her.
Focus, Asharin, I reminded myself.
This is Morrath. Trust no one, not even Maridale. Keep up appearances.
I wished Colsar was here now to call me Asha Bear. I had never realized how calming it was until I had not been able to hear it at all.
“I would be glad to bring the provisions when I go to Eravic for treatment," I lied, forcing another smile.
"Perfect," she said, clasping her hands.
And with that, I headed to breakfast.