Chapter 19 #2
“What is it?” his gaze tracks to Logan, and the whimpering sounds from the woman he’s drinking from. Pity flickers behind his eyes, though I’m not sure if it’s towards the woman or Logan. Likely both.
“How do you do it?”
“Do what?” he asks.
“Refrain from drinking from the source. Does it repulse you?”
“No, it doesn’t.”
“Then why?”
“You know why. I may be a vampire, Dorian, but I’m still a man. I drink blood to survive, because I have no choice. But I can choose how I consume it.”
“It’s that easy?”
“It’s never easy. It’s a battle I fight every second of my existence.”
“How do you fight it? Tell me,” I press, my hunger now a relentless ache as the scent of blood thickens the air. I know, deep down, even if I feed tonight, it will not satisfy me. Nothing has since I sampled Edie’s blood. Everything else tastes wrong.
“My humanity. Or should I say, what’s left of it?”
“Your humanity?”
“Yes.” He sighs. “Sometimes I wish I could switch it off. To live as you and Logan do, like the rest of our clan does, without remorse. But I can’t.
Whenever the desire to feed from a human overwhelms me, I remind myself of who I was before.
I allow myself to feel. I saved lives, Dorian. I didn’t end them.”
“We don’t either. We stop before that happens.”
“Have you always?” he asks, knowing my answer already.
“No.”
I have ended many lives, especially in those first feral years.
Back then, I didn’t know how to stop. Control came later.
Viktor, though, has always had it. When I turned him, he refused human blood and survived feeding from animals alone.
When we built our own blood bank, he drank from our stores.
He has never fed directly from a human. Not once.
“I cannot bear immortality if it means the possibility of carrying the weight of another’s death. Every day, I remind myself what it means to be human, or at least the best parts of it. That keeps me grounded. I admit, I have let my darkness surface at times, but only to protect our clan.”
“I don’t feel human emotions. I’m incapable, Vik.”
Viktor regards me, and for a moment, I believe he is about to call me out on my lie. Instead, he grips my shoulder. “Then you’re lucky.”
“If you just allowed yourself to switch off—”
“No. I made this choice, and I have to live with the consequences of it.” With that, he strides from the room.
“I see you’ve started without me,” Sybil says just moments later as she glides into the room, her hand wrapped around the arm of a man who looks at her like she’s a goddess he’d willingly worship.
Even as a human, Sybil had the innate ability to draw people in. Not just because of her beauty, though of course that helped, but because she commands every room she enters with her presence alone. I have always admired and respected her ability to do that.
It’s what drew me to her in the first place.
Over the years, I’ve relied on her cool, calculated nature, sharpened further by her vampirism.
She is indeed my oldest friend, though I admit our friendship was initially formed out of necessity.
As far as we knew, we were the only two of our kind, and we learned how to live as vampires in a human world through our mistakes.
It wasn’t until much later that we realised there was another creature like us.
We call it the Upyr. It hunts and kills mercilessly.
It is a true vampire, as feral as a beast. Bloodlust and instinct rule its existence.
That creature is the inspiration for every chilling tale.
Recognising strength in numbers, Sybil urged me to grow our clan.
I brought Logan into our fold twenty years after our rebirth, and a century later, Viktor.
They remain my only progenies. Viktor never created another, while Logan sired a third of our clan and Sybil the rest. She is the most prolific and powerful among us, second only to me as her maker.
She is also the only keeper of my secret locked up at my estate.
A secret she’s kept from everyone at my behest.
“Interesting choice,” Sybil remarks, dragging me out of my thoughts as she watches Logan feed on the blonde before flicking her gaze to the woman with blue hair. “Not to your taste?” she asks, turning her attention to me.
“She’ll do,” I reply as Sybil instructs the man to remove his shirt and kneel before her.
“Thinking of that bittersweet truffle, are we?” Sybil asks, the points of her fangs glinting in the low light as she grabs a tuft of his hair.
“No.”
She lets out a sharp laugh, then jerks his head to his side and bites, blood welling at her mouth.
I lick my lips, watching the trail of crimson slide over his bare chest. He cries out, the veins in his neck bulging as she drinks from him.
At first, he struggles in her hold, but as her saliva courses through his bloodstream, all resistance seeps away, leaving him limp, compliant and moaning in ecstasy.
Sybil flicks her gaze to the woman standing in the centre of the room, a silent command she has no right to give.
Hunger gnaws at me. I hadn’t lied to Viktor about that, but it isn’t this woman’s blood I crave, it’s Edie’s.
I want to walk away. I don’t want to feed from this woman because it feels like a betrayal to Edie, but if I refuse, Sybil will ask questions I’m not willing to answer.
With no other choice, I let my fangs drop and bite. Her blood is flavourless, but I swallow every drop, forcing it down. After we’ve all fed and the humans are sent away, Logan slips away to his room to rest, leaving Sybil and me alone.
“You know what she is, Dorian,” Sybil says the moment we’re alone.
“I’m aware,” I answer, the image of Edie’s beautiful face flickering in my mind.
“And yet, you still pursue her. Why?”
“She’s not the first Aegis we’ve come across, and she won’t be the last. Others will be born, and that’s why I need to find a way to control her. Once I succeed, we’ll never have to fear discovery by an Aegis again,” I say, my voice cold, reducing Edie to little more than a specimen to be studied.
“Why go to all that effort? We’ve avoided people like her for centuries.” Sybil’s eyes narrow, as sharp as blades. “Better still, why not kill her and her sister? That would solve this little problem, don’t you think?”
“Killing them would only draw more eyes to us,” I say, brushing aside her threat as if Edie and Elizabeth’s lives are nothing more than a passing inconvenience.
“Do you think I don’t know about those men you killed? You weren’t worried about drawing attention to us then.”
“They were women and child abusers. No one will care that they’re dead, and if we happen to be investigated, my compulsion will deal with any issues. Murdering two women will draw far more attention. It will be harder to contain. You know that.”
“Then turn her, turn her sister too. Though perhaps you should leave dealing with their friend Henrietta to Logan, hmm? He seems as infatuated with that woman as you are with Edie.”
“The thought had crossed my mind,” I admit, though I fail to tell her I won’t do that.
Not now. Not ever.
“So why haven’t you?” she presses.
“Because I don’t know what the outcome will be. An Aegis is immune to our compulsion. What if they’re immune to our blood, too? What if she dies? As I said, that will only cause us problems we don’t need.”
“Then we’ll know either way. Unless, of course, you don’t want to turn her because you care,” she spits the word out like poison.
“Do I need to remind you of your place?” I snap.
“Yet you don’t deny it.”
“I have nothing to deny. I have no feelings towards Edie. I have no feelings at all. I’m simply trying to protect the future of our clan. That’s all this is.” The lie slips easily from my mouth, but it cuts me deep.
Sybil rests her hand over mine, though her touch feels calculated. She offers no comfort, nothing like Edie’s tenderness at the club. “You revoked her ex’s membership because of Edie, did you not? Why do that if you didn’t care about her?”
“Because he touched what’s mine,” I snarl, fangs bared, as I snatch my hand from hers. “Edie belongs to me. Not because of sentiment. Not because of weakness. Her blood is pure starlight, and I will master her. I will keep her close and drink from her for as long as she lives.”
The truth slips out, tangled in lies meant to shield Edie and pacify Sybil.
A knowing smile cuts across Sybil’s face. “If you feed off her, she will know what you are.”
“She will.”
“You will have to keep her prisoner.”
“I know that too.”
“And she will hate you for it.”
“Yes, and when I finally tire of her blood, I alone will decide her fate. Not you. Understood?”
“Perfectly,” Sybil replies.