Chapter 26 #3
“You felt something in the car that night, didn’t you? That’s why you fought your desire to drink my blood, because you were protecting me. Then again, at the club, you did the same thing. I felt something shift between us, something more than just sexual attraction. I felt it. You did too.”
“Edie, stop pursuing this. I’m not human. I’m a fucking vampire. I drink blood. In the early days, I drained my victims until they died. I’ve killed people. I’m a killer.”
“That may be true, but you're also a man who feels. I know you do. After all, you didn’t drain me. You stayed that night because you were concerned about me. Keeping me here isn’t right. You know that.”
“I refuse to let you go.”
“Because you want my blood?” she shouts, shoving my chest.
“Yes, I want your blood. I want it more than I’ve wanted anything. Are you satisfied?”
“It’s more than that. I know it. You don’t want to let me go, not just because you want to drink my blood, but because you feel something for me.” Her voice rises in agitation, her beautiful face filled with anguish. “You’re afraid you’ll lose me, so you’ve chosen to keep me prisoner instead.”
“Edie, I can’t feel anything for you,” I roar, gripping her arms, needing her to understand.
“Tell me why.”
I shove her away, pacing the room. My hands fly to my hair, tugging on the strands.
I hate what I’m doing to her. I hate I can’t let her go, that I can’t be a good man like Viktor, who refuses to hurt another person, or like Sybil, who has accepted her darkness and thrives on it, or even somewhere in between like Logan.
“But you do feel. You feel right now,” she shouts, rushing towards me, bashing her fists against my chest. Tears pour from her eyes with frustration, with anger, with hurt, with disappointment, and it kills me.
Every tear is a stab to my heart, and with it all the feelings I’ve tried to suppress towards Edie come back full force.
Empathy for her plight, fear of her rejection, and overwhelming…
“Stop,” I roar, pain making my knees buckle.
It lashes at me, my tattoos tearing through my flesh, ripping apart my muscles, digging into my bones. I feel them crack under the pressure, fissures appearing, breaking me apart. I howl in pain as my hands flatten against the wood.
“Dorian? What’s happening?” Edie asks. Her voice sounds distant, muffled.
“It hurts. Fuck, it hurts,” I shout, spittle flying from my mouth as I feel a bone in my forearm break. It forces its way out of my skin, blood splattering across the floor as I collapse. Curling up on my side, I cradle my arm limply against my chest, my blood pooling beneath me.
Edie drops to her knees. “Your arm,” she cries, her voice trembling as she touches me. “Your tattoos, they’re moving.”
“It hurts, Edie. It hurts.”
“What should I do? What do you need?”
I flinch away from her touch, my breath releasing in short, sharp gasps. I try to sever my emotions, but it’s no use. “Stay away.”
“I want to help you. Let me help you. Please, Dorian.”
More pain. More destruction. Another bone breaks, my femur this time. I jerk from the agony, my back bending unnaturally from the force, driving my body into the floor. Then my collarbone breaks. It snaps beneath my skin, piercing the flesh.
“I can’t… It hurts… I can’t feel… This is what happens… And I can’t. Make it stop. Please, Edie, make it stop,” I roar, a wretched cry ripping from my throat.
“Let me get someone. Help,” she screams, pushing upright as she runs towards the door.
“They’re not here.” I gasp, my chest heaving as I try to sit, but more lancing pain crushes my lungs, rendering me useless as I fall back to the floor. Edie rushes back to my side.
“What should I do?”
The monster within me howls in terror, forcing its way to the surface, trying its best to save me from this excruciating, devastating pain. It wants to feed. It wants to be set free. It wants Edie’s blood.
“I need… Fuck, no.” I grit my teeth, refusing to give in.
A rib breaks, then another, and another, jolting me with another round of pain so intense I pass out for the briefest of moments. When I come to, Edie has me in her arms, cradling me like a baby.
“I’m sorry, Dorian. I’m so, so sorry.” More tears drip from Edie’s eyes, falling from her chin and onto my face.
Forcing strength into my body, I reach up to cup her cheek. “Don’t cry for me, Edie.”
“What will fix this? Tell me what you need.”
“I need this to stop,” I whimper.
“How?”
The fingers on my hand cupping her face bend backwards as though someone is physically snapping them, the sound like gunshots being fired. Edie jolts with every snap, her eyes widening as my arm falls to my side, my shoulder joint popping out of its socket.
“Blood,” I choke out, not able to form a full sentence.
“Then take mine, Dorian. Take mine,” she begs.
“I can’t… I don’t want to hurt you.” More pain.
More bones breaking. I can’t even tell which one’s now.
Every single part of me hurts. I grit my teeth, sweat pouring from my skin as I try to stay conscious.
I fight to get the words out. “I don’t know…
If I’ll be able to stop… This hurts too fucking much. ”
Edie hauls me upright, cupping the back of my head. “Take it. Do it. I can’t see you in pain like this. I won’t see you suffer.” Then she stretches her neck out, pressing my face against her skin. “Do it!”
“No,” I protest, the mural fading as the edges of my vision darken. My fangs drop and retract, over and over again, the two sides of me warring against each other. The human versus the vampire. The man versus the monster.
When I allow myself to feel for Edie, I’m faced with agonising pain.
If I let the monster out and feed, I risk her life.
I should’ve walked away. I should’ve let her go.
“Take my blood. Please, Dorian.”
I’m so fucking weak, I can barely keep my eyes open.
“So help me, Dorian, if you don’t die, I’ll kill you myself,” she shouts, and so I do what I vowed I wouldn’t do again. I pierce her flesh and feast on her blood.