Chapter 31 Brady
brADY
“And no funny business while we’re here. The last thing I need is to be traumatized hearing my older brother’s sex noises.” Blair does an exaggerated shudder as Barrett groans quietly from the back seat. I grip the steering wheel tighter, keeping my gaze trained on the road.
“Blair. Enough.” I’m impressed with how calm my voice sounds. “Obviously, I’m not so disrespectful that I’d do something like that. And remember, you wanted to come this weekend to meet Sage. So whatever happens, you asked for it.”
She goes to open her mouth again, and I lift one hand off the wheel and hold it up to her.
“No. That’s it. We’re not talking anymore about what I may or may not do with Sage in front of you.
She’s my girlfriend and the mother of my child.
If I want to hug her, or kiss her, or hold her hand in front of you, you’re going to have to deal with it.
Aren’t you the one always insisting you’re an adult now? ”
Barrett snorts in the back seat. “He’s got you there.”
I come to a stop at a red light and look over at my sister, only to see her looking smug, with her hands folded on her lap.
“What?” I ask gruffly.
“You called her your girlfriend.”
I let out a frustrated sigh, the kind only a big brother can do. “That’s what you got out of all this?”
“Yup,” she replies, popping the p. “I’m happy.”
A few minutes later, after her rambling on about some drama in her dorm, we pull up in front of my building. Blair hops out, and without even offering to take any of her stuff inside, she beelines for the front door.
“I regret ever giving you guys keys,” I mutter as Barrett and I unload the trunk and follow her inside.
By the time we catch up, she’s already in the elevator, tapping her foot impatiently. I guess we should be grateful she at least held the car for us.
“Come on!”
Upstairs, we spill out of the elevator and Blair walks swiftly down the hall. Without even knocking, she turns the handle and bursts into my apartment.
“Oh my God,” I groan. And I thought Sage was like a hurricane?
When Barrett and I get to the apartment, we find Blair and Sage locked in a hug. Over Blair’s shoulder, I can see Sage’s surprise. Her gaze meets mine, and her eyes widen for a second before she laughs and pulls back.
“Wow, what a greeting.”
I walk up to her and kiss her head. “That’s Blair for you. And this is Barrett.” I gesture to my brother, who walks up far more calmly and holds out his hand.
“Nice to meet you, Sage.”
“You too, Barrett. I’m sorry you have to take the couch this weekend.”
He shrugs. “Nah, it’s fine. Can’t be any worse than the beds at the dorm.”
“They are the worst,” Blair moans. “What I wouldn’t give for some memory foam.”
“She’s exaggerating. They’re not great, but they’re not the worst.”
Sage seems to be fighting back her laughter, and when I draw her into my side, she turns her face into my chest for a second.
“So who’s ready for lunch?” I ask, hoping to redirect some of Blair’s chaotic energy.
“Definitely. But first, I have presents.” Blair upends a bag on the couch.
“The local bookstore had all these baby books on clearance, so I stocked up. In case you don’t know it yet, Brady’s kind of a book nerd.
Oh, and he said dried mango was one of your favourite snacks right now, so I grabbed some that’s been coated in dark chocolate. They’re so good.”
“Wow, Blair, thank you.” Sage is clearly touched as she picks up the books and looks at them. “This is, just, wow.”
She walks over to my sister and pulls her in for a hug. I watch the two of them, trying not to let myself get too emotional.
“So, lunch?” Barrett pipes up. When I glance over at him, he too looks like his emotions are getting the better of him. Guess I’m not the only one thinking about how our family is changing yet again, only this time it’s in a good way.
“Yeah, I could definitely use some food,” Sage agrees, walking back over to me with a watery smile. I take her hand and lift it to brush a kiss across her knuckles.
“C’mon. We’ll take you to Dot’s Diner.”
The diner immediately charms Blair with its over-the-top fifties-style vibe. And then Dottie comes bustling out in her usual outfit of a poodle skirt and blouse.
“There’s my favourite parents-to-be, and you brought extras today! Who are these two? No, wait, it’s obvious. You must be Brady’s brother and sister.” Dottie pulls Sage in for a hug before beaming at the twins. “I’m Dottie.”
“This is Blair and Barrett, my younger siblings. They’re visiting for the weekend,” I explain.
“Your diner is incredible, I am obsessed with everything! Does the jukebox work? Where did you get your skirt?” Blair doesn’t stop for a breath, making me chuckle and shake my head.
Dottie takes it all in stride, tucking Blair’s arm in her own and leading her over to the jukebox, already telling her the story of how her grandfather bought it for five dollars, and kept it in his living room.
Halfway there, she stops and calls over her shoulder, “You kids seat yourselves anywhere you like, I’ll be right there. ”
I lead Sage and Barrett over to a booth. Barrett slides in across from us and takes another look around the diner.
“This place really does look like a movie set. I admire her dedication to the theme.”
“Dottie’s kind of a legend around here. At least, that’s what I’m learning. You meet her once and you’re basically family.”
“It’s wild,” Sage adds. “I’ve lived in a lot of different places, and Cedar Creek is by far the friendliest.”
Barrett nods with a small smile. “It seems like a great place.”
Blair and Dottie join us then, with Blair sliding in next to her brother. “Okay, I’m in love. I want to stay here forever.”
“Let’s finish university first,” I reply dryly, earning an eye roll.
“Okay, bro-dad. Chill.”
Sage giggles quietly, her hand landing on my thigh as she leans in and whispers, “I love that they call you bro-dad.”
I cover her hand with my own and squeeze it.
“Alright Sage, tell the truth, how terrible is it living with Brady? Are you finding socks everywhere? Is he leaving the toilet seat up?” Blair grimaces. “Boys are so gross sometimes.”
“First of all, I never leave the seat up. Second of all, don’t come for me with the sock thing.”
“Excuse me? Are you not the one who refuses to match his socks, and therefore, will have singular socks everywhere? Pretty sure I found one in the bathtub a time or two.”
“Once. That was once.”
“It was at least twice,” Blair fires back.
Sage leans forward and drops her voice low to speak to Barrett. “Do they get like this a lot? Keeping score and stuff?”
He nods. “Yeah, I find it’s easier to just sit back and watch. Or leave the room if you don’t want to be called to referee.”
Sage taps the side of her head. “Noted.”
Lunch is loud, chaotic, and full of laughter. Sage has filled a hole that was left when our parents died. Not by replacing them, no one ever could, but by bringing something new to our family. She’s a new piece that fits perfectly.
After we finish at the diner, we head out to wander around downtown Cedar Creek. Sage and Blair are up ahead, arms linked, heads close together as they laugh and chatter nonstop.
“She’s pretty cool,” Barrett comments as we follow behind them.
“I think so, too.” I stuff my hands in my pockets, watching the girls.
“Seems like it’s serious with you two?”
I glance over at him, then back to the girls.
“I want it to be. I…” I trail off, take a deep breath, and put it out there.
“I’m falling in love with her. Fuck, no, I already love her.
But Sage, she doesn’t usually do commitment.
This is all new for her. And I’m scared if I tell her how I feel, she’ll panic. ”
Damn. Somehow, saying it out loud makes it so real. Makes it something I could lose. And that’s terrifying.
“So you’re what, never gonna tell her?” Barrett asks pointedly. “That’s dumb.”
I wince. He’s right.
“Look, you’ve spent our entire lives telling me to speak up. To say what I want and not let Blair talk for me. Maybe it’s time for you to take your own advice.”
Once again, he’s right. I exhale loudly. “Why are you always so damn smart?”
Barrett shrugs. “Just because I don’t talk a lot doesn’t mean I don’t have stuff to say. I just choose to keep it to myself unless it’s really important.” He puts his hand on my shoulder. “And this is really important. Don’t lose her because you’re scared of, well, losing her.”
Sage and Blair turn around at that moment, ending our conversation. But Barrett’s words stick with me, running on a never-ending loop in my mind.
The rest of the twins’ visit goes by far too quickly, and before I know it, we’re driving them back to the ferry terminal.
Once we get parked in the drop-off zone, we all pile out, and it’s hugs all around.
“Love you five-ever, baby girl,” Blair says, bending down to speak to Sage’s stomach.
Sage’s eyebrows raise as she looks at me, mouthing five-ever?
I shake my head, indicating I’ll tell her later. I’m too fucking caught up in fighting back tears at seeing my little sister say that to her unborn niece.
Moving to me, Blair throws her arms around my neck. “Bye, big bro. Thanks for a fun weekend.”
“See ya, B. Love you.”
“Love you five-ever.”
Barrett’s hugs are much more perfunctory, but still sincere, and then they’re heading inside to wait for the ferry ride home.
Sage sneaks her arm around my waist, pulling me in for a hug as we watch them go.
“They’ll be back soon,” she says quietly.
I look down at her, and she lifts her hand to wipe away a tear I hadn’t noticed fall. “Yeah, I know.” I bend down and kiss her forehead quickly before opening her car door.
I know she’s going to ask what Blair meant. And sure enough, as soon as we’re on the highway back to Cedar Creek, Sage says, “What’s up with five-ever?”
I take another few seconds to answer, fighting the onslaught of memories. Most of them happy, but some of them are not.
“When Blair was little, she thought forever wasn’t long enough. She said we needed to love each other five-ever, especially since there weren't four of us in the family, there were five.”
“I love that,” Sage murmurs, her hand coming to the back of my neck, where she strokes the skin softly.
I clear my throat. “Yeah, well. After our parents died, she kept saying it. And one day, I was so mad about something. Fuck, I don’t even remember what it was. Anyway, I told her we weren’t a family of five anymore, so she should stop saying it.”
Sage’s hand stills for a second before resuming.
“I should never have said that. She was just a kid, and I was meant to be the one to take care of her, not make her feel even worse. She didn’t say it for a long time, but when she started again, I just remember feeling so relieved.
Like it was a sign she didn’t hate me. We talked about it in therapy, and she said it was never just about the size of our family, but about the size of our love for each other.
And that didn’t change just because we lost Mom and Dad. ”
“She’s a very smart girl,” Sage says softly.
I nod. “And a very forgiving one, thank God.”
“Grief does strange things to us. It can make us say and do things we don’t mean, because we’re trying to protect our own feelings from being hurt further.
But it also makes us realize just how precious life is.
And that means we know how important it is to forgive, and we learn how to love more deeply than ever before. ”
She looks down at her belly, one hand resting there and the other drifting up to her shoulder.
I know she’s thinking about her mother. I want to give her privacy for this grief. But I don’t. Because I’m not going to lose her by being afraid to love her.
That thought has me pulling over to the side of the road. As soon as I’m parked, I turn and unbuckle our seatbelts before pulling her into my arms.
Holding her as she holds our family.