25. Sisi
25
SISI
I roll over in bed, and for the second day in a row, I can't fall asleep. I sigh in frustration.
It's all because of him.
Even now, when I remember his words—that he feels nothing—a deep chasm forms in my heart, and I have to stop myself from sobbing out loud. I'd already done that enough.
How am I supposed to continue being with him knowing that my own feelings for him deepen every day? It's a recipe for heartbreak, no matter how I look at it.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized I have to detach myself somehow. Especially since we've seen each other almost every day for a while now. How can I stop myself from falling for someone who treats me like a princess? Who respects me and showers me with attention, always showing me that I matter ?
How can anyone resist that ?
Barring his murderous side and his lack of emotions, Vlad is pretty perfect.
As someone who's never been made to feel important, he certainly made me feel like I was the only one for him. And I'd hopelessly fallen down the rabbit hole knowing that he was only mine, too .
But he isn't. Not really. Because he can never be. How can he truly be mine when he cannot offer me the one thing I want the most?
I'd rationalized everything. Lord, I'd thought about him day and night, trying to come to terms with my emotions and what is to be done to protect my heart. I've had enough people snubbing me in the past, and I never want to see him do that.
It would break me.
And yet knowing he can never give me what I most desire, why is it that I can't let go? He's on my mind twenty-four-seven. Logically, I know I should stay away, but I can't help myself when my thoughts stray to him... to his scars and his bad attacks. How can I leave him alone when I know there's no one there to care for him? To help him through his crises? To show him that he matters too?
It seems that for the first time, my mind is at war with my heart.
I go through the motions the rest of the day. Funny how I thought I'd get some sleep these days, but my restless thoughts simply won't let me.
I miss him...
Shaking myself, I focus on the current conversation with Claudia.
"She told me I could skip to the more advanced stuff," she says proudly, a small smile appearing on her face.
"I'm so happy for you." I squeeze her hand.
Marcello had hired a governess for Claudia and Venezia and had suggested I attend some of the lessons too, to complement the (not so great) education I'd received at Sacre Coeur.
For Claudia, this is the perfect arrangement, as she's starting to come more into herself, no longer held back by dogmatic old hags. Suddenly, she can tap into her full potential and study to her heart's content.
As for me... it would have been great if I'd been able to focus. But seeing that my mind is on a certain someone at all times, it's a little difficult to concentrate on the lessons.
Claudia continues to tell me about her studies, being extremely lively as she describes everything the new governess had given her to read. I nod and try to listen attentively, until out of nowhere, she jumps into my arms, kissing my cheek .
"Happy Birthday, Aunt Sisi," she whispers, a blush appearing on her cheeks.
"Thank you," I answer, a little shocked that she'd remembered. I return her hug, my arms wrapping around her.
"I'm not supposed to say anything," she starts, her voice low, "but Mamma said she has something prepared for you."
"For me?" My eyes widen in surprise.
She nods, a sheepish smile on her face.
Now that she's sown the seed in my head, I can't help but look forward to whatever Lina has prepared for me, the prospect of someone remembering and trying to do something special for me exciting me to no end.
It's only later in the evening that Lina comes to get me, telling me to get dressed and that we're going somewhere. Already inferring this might be the surprise, I'm entirely too giddy as I choose a dress to wear.
Coming down in the foyer, I see everyone already dressed, including Marcello and Venezia.
"Where are we going?" I ask as Lina takes my arm, a secretive smile on her face.
"You'll see," she whispers in my ear.
We split ourselves among two cars, and as I look out the window, I realize we're going into the city.
The journey takes about thirty minutes, the car stopping in front of a fancy restaurant.
Getting out of the car, we all gather at the entrance before being ushered inside by a staff member.
"Surprise!" Lina says when we get to the back of the restaurant, where a big sign spells Happy Birthday, balloons and gifts everywhere.
I still, my eyes greedily roaming about the room, unable to believe this is for me.
"For me?" I croak in disbelief, needing verbal confirmation that this is indeed for me.
There are balloons in every color suspended from the ceiling and hanging around the walls. In a corner, next to the main table, neatly packaged gifts are placed one on top of the other .
"Happy Birthday!" everyone calls out, individually coming to congratulate me.
"I don't know what to say..." I feel a little out of my depth as I look around, taking in everything they'd prepared specifically for me.
God, but I'm getting teary.
I dab at my eyes, feeling incredibly overwhelmed.
"Sisi," Lina takes me in her arms, "don't cry," she pats my back.
"We wanted to," Marcello coughs, "do something special for your birthday. Lina's told me that you couldn't do much at Sacre Coeur. I hope you like this," he says, looking a little out of his depth.
"I love it," I immediately assure him. "Thank you so much!"
"Do you want to open the gifts now, or after dinner?" Lina asks.
"You didn't have to get me anything... this is already so much," I sniffle, and more tears fall down my cheeks. "Thank you," I repeat.
"Sisi..."
"Open the gifts!" Claudia says, and Venezia nods.
A little unsure, I go to the back, opening one gift after another. They'd thought about everything, from books to clothes, even to some makeup. And as I look at the personal notes attached to each gift, I can't help but feel a warmth in my heart.
So this is what it feels like to have a family.
"Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me," I add after I've managed to gain some control over my tears.
"I'm glad you like it, Sisi," Marcello replies, looking a little uncomfortable.
We sit down at the table, and two waiters come around to serve us. I'm placed between Claudia and Venezia, with Lina and Marcello sitting next to each other.
It doesn't escape me the glances they share, or the hidden touches under the table. I may not have been as present in the house, but it's clear that Lina and my brother are getting along just fine.
More than fine.
Marcello looks at Lina as if the world begins and ends with her, a tenderness so unlike the man I'd gotten to know. And Lina doesn't seem immune either, if her blushes are any indication .
"Your mother seems happy," I whisper conspiratorially to Claudia, and she gives me a wide smile.
"She does, doesn't she? I like Marcello too. He's nice to me."
"I'm happy," I say, ruffling her hair.
While Marcello doesn't necessarily seem inclined to emotive displays, at least he has emotions. Unlike a certain someone...
Not going there.
"He's been helping me with my studies too," Claudia says, and for the first time I note a hint of happiness on her features.
I'm so glad she got out of Sacre Coeur before they did any lasting damage to her, like they did to me. Lina has pushed very hard to get her professional help after the Father Guerra incident, and looking at her carefree expression, it has definitely paid off.
More chatter, and the conversation flows comfortably, everyone contributing to the overall atmosphere of the table. Even Venezia, who is usually closed off, participates and even banters with Claudia.
"Have you thought about what you want to do, Sisi?" Marcello asks, and I blink rapidly, his question taking me by surprise.
"Marcello! It's her birthday! Sometimes you're too tactless." Lina lightly punches his shoulder, shaking her head at him. He grimaces, quickly amending that it wasn't his intention to make me uncomfortable.
"I'm curious if you have any interests you'd like exploring. We can arrange for you to go to college if that's something you'd like," he continues, and I get a little awkward at being put on the spot.
Truth be told, I hadn't given much thought to what I want to do. Back at Sacre Coeur, I'd had a million ideas, dreaming up countless scenarios of what I'd do if I could. But now that I actually can , none of them seem even remotely appealing.
It's all his fault.
"I like investigative work," I finally say.
Accompanying Vlad everywhere while he'd been looking for clues for his sisters had been exhilarating. Finding clues and putting them together to get a big picture is oddly satisfying and I wouldn't mind doing that in the future too .
"Really?" Marcello smiles. "What did you have in mind?" he asks, taking a sip of his wine.
"Maybe detective work," I shrug. "I've been reading up on the FBI," I continue, and Marcello chokes on his wine.
"Detective work," he repeats, giving Lina a side glance. "Lina, have you explained to Sisi what our family does?"
Lina nods. "Yes, she knows."
"Then don't you think it would be... a conflict of interests so to say?" he asks, forcing a smile.
I hold myself still, trying not to laugh at the euphemism.
"You were a lawyer," I point out.
"Yes, but lawyers can be..." He trails off, glancing uncomfortably between Claudia and Venezia, "On the other side of the law too."
"Well, can't detectives be on the other side of the law, too?" I retort cheekily, watching Marcello try to find a reply, especially as he seems to be concerned about Venezia and Claudia hearing his answer.
I'd watched Vlad's interactions with the law enough to know there are dirty cops everywhere. Why, he even has a game he plays with NYPD, as he'd happily recounted to me. Every time there's a new detective in town, Vlad likes to taunt them and test their loyalties, offering them temptation and waiting to see if they crack. More than half the time, they do, which speaks volumes to people's integrity when incentives are involved.
"You'd like to be a detective on the other side of the law?" Marcello raises an eyebrow at me.
I look at him intently, not knowing how much to reveal.
"I don't particularly care which side I'm on," I admit. "It's still investigative work. Truthfully, I am interested in murders," I add tentatively, "and seeing that both good and bad people die, does it really matter what side I'm on?"
"Interesting approach. Does any of this have to do with what happened at Sacre Coeur?" He continues, and Lina purses her lips, giving him a look that says drop it.
"Partly," I reply. This is the first real conversation I've had with Marcello, and while he is putting me on the spot, I can't help but be happy that he's at least treating me like an adult. "It's certainly awakened my interest," I say, taking a sip of water.
"If you're serious about it, then I can point you in the right direction. Adrian, my best friend, has experience on the force," he comments just as the next course arrives.
As we're about to dig in, the sound of someone clapping draws our attention to the entrance.
"What a big happy family." Vlad claps his hands, slowly nearing the table.
My hands still on my cutlery, my expression one of shock as I see the one person I did not expect here tonight.
"Vlad," Marcello mutters, his jaw clenched, his entire body stiff with tension.
"A party," he whistles, reading the birthday wish on the wall, "and you didn't think to invite me? 'Cello, 'Cello, you ought to read up on friendship etiquette," he tsks at my brother, looking around the room disinterestedly. "And whose birthday are we celebrating?" He smiles, plopping himself on a chair at the table, right next to Marcello.
"It's Sisi's birthday," Lina replies, her hand on Marcello's arm.
"Is that so..." He narrows his eyes, his gaze sweeping around the table until it finds mine. "Happy birthday." He takes a glass, pouring himself some red wine. Holding it forward in a toast, he gives me a smile as he downs it, his eyes never leaving mine. "I have to say, my dear Marcello, you have spared no expense. Vintage, 1996. Not bad."
"Since when are you such a wine expert?" Marcello snorts at him.
"It's red." Vlad shrugs, barely taking his eyes off me as he's talking with my brother. "Like blood."
"Vlad." Marcello doesn't look too happy to have Vlad here, and suddenly I worry about a potential conflict.
"Why don't we eat?" I interject, hoping this would give everyone something to do.
A waiter comes to bring Vlad a plate, and for a moment everyone is quiet as they start eating.
"How did you find us here?" Marcello asks, his fist on the table.
"The same way I can find you anywhere." Vlad winks at him. "Haven't you told them that we used to be soulmates?" Vlad asks, an innocent expression on his face. I narrow my eyes at him, not understanding the purpose of his visit.
Did he come here just to ruin my birthday dinner?
"Soulmates?" Lina asks curiously. "What do you mean?"
"Ahh, good question! You see, Marcello and I go way back. What is it, twenty years?"
"Vlad, enough." Marcello grits his teeth, looking at Vlad as if he'd like nothing more than to shoot him.
"Come on, old pal, you've forgotten our golden days?"
"Wow, you've known Marcello for that long?" Catalina doesn't seem to pick up on the tension between the two, her usual good-natured disposition shining through as she tries to include Vlad in the conversation. "What can you tell me about him?" She smiles, oblivious to the undercurrent as she laces her fingers through Marcello's.
"What can I, indeed." Vlad's face erupts into a wide, charming smile. He knows he has an in through Lina and he's taking full advantage of it. "We were closer than siblings, weren't we, Marcello?" He raises an eyebrow.
"Was he as brooding then as he is now?" Lina is quick to ask, leaning over the table, her face full of curiosity.
"Oh, even more. I could barely coax a word out of him. Sometimes I had to ask a question and answer it too." Vlad laughs and everyone joins in, since Marcello is not the most talkative individual. "But he had a gift."
"A gift?" It's Venezia who asks.
Somehow Vlad's managed to entrance the entire table and make everyone invested in his story.
"Yes, a gift for art. Why, he's a wonderful sculptor. You should have seen his art pieces." Vlad shakes his head, pursing his lips and releasing a mournful sound. "Too bad he's given it up."
"Vlad, stop," Marcello's voice is low and I detect a tinge of threat.
"Art? Really? Oh, Marcello, you have to show me," Lina says excitedly.
"Maybe some other time," my brother mutters.
"Yes, he needs very specific materials." Vlad leans back in his seat, a look of satisfaction on his face .
"What do you mean?" Lina asks, a frown appearing on her face as she looks between Vlad and Marcello.
"Hmm, what indeed, Marcello?" He tilts his head to the side, pushing his chin up as if daring my brother to answer. "The tongue of a traitor, the skin of a deceiver, the d..."
"That's enough!" Marcello's hand hits the table, and everyone is suddenly quiet.
"Tongue of a traitor?" Claudia asks, her eyes wide.
"Vlad, so God help me, I will do what I promised," Marcello speaks, the threat unmistakable.
"See, this is what I'm talking about. You and your God..." Vlad shakes his head, sighing deeply. "Is that who you left me for? See, I don't get this God business. Imaginary friends aren't as much fun as you'd think."
"There are children at this table, Vlad. Censor yourself," Marcello tells him, Lina's touch the only tether to keep him from snapping.
"Children are children, until they are not," Vlad replies vaguely, his lips stained with red from the wine.
My eyes hone in on that, and I find it increasingly harder to pretend I don't know him, or that I'm not aware of his presence in this room. I only have to look at his broad shoulders, the way his throat contracts when he swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing slightly, or how the hollow of his neck makes me want to swirl my tongue around it, dripping wine inside and licking him clean.
Damn, why do I have to be so wanton?
I don't know what his game is, and why he's intentionally riling my brother up, since it's clear he has a death wish. And looking at Marcello, I know it's just a matter of time before he snaps.
Vlad's gaze moves around the table until it settles on me.
"And how old is our birthday girl now?"
"Twenty-one," I answer, narrowing my eyes at him. He knows fully well how old I am.
"That means she can legally drink alcohol, can she not?" He stands up, taking the bottle and two glasses with him. He places one in front of me, filling it to the brim, before doing the same with his .
"Happy Birthday!" He clinks the glasses before taking a sip of his, his eyes never leaving mine.
I take my own glass, lifting it to my mouth. But just as the liquid is about to hit my lips, a hand stops me.
"You don't have to drink, Sisi," Marcello says, already asking Claudia and Venezia to go sit by Lina. "Vlad is leaving."
"She's legal now, Marcello. It's her prerogative to drink or not." He smirks, his tongue peeking out to lick his lips.
I swallow.
The devil.
He knows exactly what he's doing.
"You need to leave, Vlad," Marcello tells him. "I get that you're bored, and friendless, and whatever, but I won't tell you again. Stay away from my family." He grits his teeth, taking the glass from me and slapping it on the table, the liquid teetering on the edge and spilling on the white cloth covering the table.
"Damn, 'Cello, you've gone all big bad wolf on me. Are you afraid I'm going to pluck this flower?" He lays his hand on my shoulder, and I hear someone gasp at the table.
Everything happens in slow motion.
A waiter is coming in, bringing a huge birthday cake on a trolley. The hand on my shoulder disappears just as Marcello twists Vlad around, flinging him from me, and punching him in the face.
Lina's hands are on Claudia's eyes, while Venezia looks oddly intrigued.
Vlad doesn't even react or fight back as he accepts the punch, his body being flung back and into my cake.
My mouth opens on a silent sound as I see half of Vlad's face land on the cake, ruining everything.
Marcello has a smug expression as he looks at Vlad, and for the first time, I've had it with them both.
"Stop!" I stand up, putting myself between them before the conflict escalates. "This is my birthday dinner, and you are both ruining it," I speak, my voice serious. "You, stop hitting people." I point at Marcello. "And you," I turn to Vlad, "stop asking to be hit! "
"Me? Asking to be hit?" Vlad rights himself, the upper part of his suit full of cake as more falls from his cheek.
"Stop!" Both Marcello and I speak at the same time.
I can barely contain a smile as I see the cream on Vlad's face, and I just shake my head at him.
"Here's how this is going to go," I say, looking at everyone. "You are going to calm down," I address Marcello, "and you are going to come with me to clean up. After that, everyone will behave, and we'll eat what's left of the cake in peace. Think you can do this?" I look at Vlad.
I'm almost at my wits' end and there's only one reason for it.
"You're not going anywhere with him." Marcello stops me. I turn to him, giving him my most no-nonsense expression.
"I'll be fine," I say, "if he tries anything I'll just give him more cake," my lips twitch, "seems to shut him up just fine."
"Hey, I'm here," he interjects, but before he can insult my brother further, I grab him by the arm and take him to the bathroom, locking the door behind us so we're undisturbed.
"What is wrong with you?" I hiss at him when we're finally alone.
"You stood me up," he answers quietly, hands in his pockets.
"What do you mean?" I frown.
"We were supposed to meet. An hour ago to be more exact," he says, showing me his phone and the messages he's sent me—quite a lot of them.
"I don't have my phone with me, and we never planned anything."
He mutters something under his breath that I can't understand, but with his half-caked face, I can't even take him seriously.
"Is that why you came here so ready to wage war?" I ask, swiping my finger over his face and tasting some of the cream.
"You stood me up." Is all he says. Like a sullen boy, he pouts, looking anywhere but at me.
"I didn't stand you up. I didn't even know we were supposed to meet," I breathe out, a little exasperated with current circumstances.
Why does he have to be so reckless? He could have blown the entire thing, and I have no doubt that Marcello would have killed him—and me.
"Fine..." he agrees, but he doesn't seem any happier .
Shaking my head at him, I tug him to the sink, wetting a napkin and cleaning the cake from his face and clothes. All the while he's watching me with an odd expression on his face, as if he can't quite understand me.
His lips are slightly parted, his breath labored as I swipe the cloth over his face. My own skin is covered in goosebumps, awareness of his presence—so close by—prickling from head to toe. My cheeks feel heated, my palms sweaty.
Out of nowhere, his hand shoots out and grabs my wrist, lowering it. Still holding my gaze, he backs me into a corner, his body crowding me until he's fitted to my front.
He's hard.
It's the first thing I feel when he presses himself into me, my own thighs clenching in response.
His fingers brush across my neck, before he grips me in a painful hold, bringing my face close to his.
"You don't stand me up," he rasps, his breath on my lips.
"I don't?" I blink twice, the change in his behavior throwing me off. One moment he looks like a lost puppy, the next he's throwing me against the wall ready to ravish me.
"You're mine, Hell Girl. That means you're only mine." His lips trail over my jaw. "You promised me," he says, his thumb moving up over my lips, parting them.
"I did," I answer, the intensity in his eyes hypnotizing me.
"Say it," he whispers, lightly kissing me on the lips. "Say it."
"I'm yours," I say and he lets out a big breath, as if relieved.
"I'm never letting you go," he rasps, the sound barely audible.
"Did you really have to be so mean with Marcello?" I raise my hand to palm his cheek, my annoyance with him already melting away.
"You're mine," he repeats, leaning down to deepen the kiss before suddenly turning me around, making me brace my hands on the wall.
"Vlad?" I ask, uncertain of what he's about to do.
His hands are skirting around the hem of my dress as he drags it up over my ass.
"We don't have time," I whisper, even though all I want is for him to go on. "He'll come looking for us. "
"Just a moment," he says, his voice low and anguished. "I need to know you're mine."
His hand moves past the band of my underwear and between my legs, his fingers dipping low between my lips as he circles my clit. My breath catches in my throat, my eyes closing as I focus on the sensations he's wringing from my body.
"You're so wet, Hell Girl. And all for me," he rasps, his mouth nibbling at my ear.
"Yes," I reply, grinding myself against his hand.
He starts moving faster, his fingers working their magic on my pussy while his mouth is slowly massaging the column of my neck, alternating between sucking, licking and teasing.
In no time, I'm coming, barely holding back my voice as I push my ass into his erection. I sag against him, my body turning to jelly as I ride the last of the orgasm.
"Happy birthday," he whispers.
Turning, I steady myself against the wall, watching as he takes his fingers and licks them clean.
"Better than the cake." His voice sends shivers down my spine, his black eyes holding me captive.
I'm barely aware of what's happening as he shoves his hands in his pockets, removing a small box and thrusting it in my face.
"What's this?" I ask, taking it in my hand.
"Your present," he says, suddenly not meeting my gaze.
Curious, and a little surprised he'd gotten me something, I open the box to find a necklace with my name, diamonds encrusted in the letters.
"For me?" I stare at the beautiful object, unable to believe he'd gotten it for me.
"Let me," he says, taking it out of the box and placing it around my neck.
"Beautiful jewelry for a beautiful lady," he remarks, and as I look into the mirror, feeling the cold metal against my skin, I can't help but sigh in satisfaction.
"Thank you." I tug him closer, giving him a resounding kiss. "It's amazing. "
For the first time, I see a genuine smile on his face as he nuzzles his cheek into the crook of my neck.
Finishing up in the bathroom, we return to the table.
Marcello looks between the two of us suspiciously.
"Took you long enough," he mutters.
"I didn't know he was afraid of water," I shrug, taking a seat.
"I am not!" Vlad protests, grabbing the chair next to me. With Claudia and Venezia seated next to Lina, he can finally sit closer to me.
"Sure." I shrug, amused. "That's why he kept saying he was going to melt if water touched his skin."
"What can I say," he bats his eyes innocently at everyone, "it's not my fault I'm related to the wicked witch. We can't choose our parents," he says, turning his attention to Marcello, "you of all people should know."
Marcello doesn't reply, but the tension in his jaw tells me the jab is personal.
"Anyone want cake?" I ask out loud, already tired of playing pacifier.
"Yes!" Claudia replies.
"Me too," Venezia responds.
Cake is served, and for the first time, no one wants to kill anyone. And to reward Vlad for his behavior, I grab his hand under the table.
He looks mildly surprised, but he squeezes my hand, holding tight.
I guess this is what it feels like to have a family...