Chapter 9
nine
He nods firmly and whether it’s him actually starting to process or just stuffing it down deep somewhere, he’s done talking about it. I give him a chin lift before I push my arms over my head to stretch my chest and back.
“Tell me why you don’t like DirtyGurl,” I say.
He chuckles. “I don’t dislike DirtyGurl. From everything I’ve heard, she’s a good sub and a good friend. I just can’t deal with her mouth during scenes.”
“She does have a mouth on her. And an ass.”
Logan widens his eyes at me. “You are not ready to take on that ass, mate. Trust me. She will chew you up and spit you out.”
I switch positions and stretch my sides. “She explained to me why we’re all kinds of incompatible from a kink perspective. Kincompatible?” Logan chuckles at my weak pun. “But I can still admire her ass. And her brain. She’s smart. She explained things in a way I could immediately understand.”
Logan nods. “She’s a very experienced subbie. She can’t really mentor you because she’s not a Dom, although I’ve wondered more than once if she’s not actually a switch. But you couldn’t have a better resource if you have questions.”
“She volunteered to be my sounding board. What’s a switch?”
“Someone who both tops and bottoms.”
“Right. You think so? I dunnow. Submission seems like second nature to her. She has to restrain herself from doing it when it’s not socially acceptable.”
Logan sits back on his hands and flexes his chest. “How the hell do you know that?”
“I saw it the other morning when we were all at breakfast. She served everyone coffee, including me. When Jiro came down, she was up out of her seat to get him a drink before she even thought about it.”
I see the memory ticking over in Logan’s eyes before he speaks. “She didn’t get me a drink.”
“Yeah.” I almost tell him why not. But we agreed everything would stay between us and I’d be doing a shitty job of this Daddy Dom thing if I break the first trust I’ve been given. “Any thoughts on why?”
Logan blows out a breath. “She thinks I don’t like her and she’s trying to avoid drawing attention to herself.”
I wink at him. “You’re not just a pretty face, buddy.”
“Wanker.” Logan twists from side to side. “I need to be nicer to her, don’t I? I don’t mind her outside a scene, and I don’t want to scare her off if she could be a friend for Emmy.”
“Couldn’t hurt,” I say. “Although Emmy seems to have plenty of friends at the playgroup if you really object to Brenna.”
“I don’t object to her. I just wouldn’t want to top her and I think that aversion tangles up my thinking about her sometimes. As for the playgroup, what’d you think?”
“Interesting,” I say. “I definitely want to go back. And Cynnie’s coming over for dinner tonight.”
“Yeah?” Logan climbs off the floor and slaps me on the shoulder. “That was quick work, mate.”
“She asked me while we were playing Twister. I don’t know if you heard that.
” Logan shakes his head as he racks the weights and settles onto his back on the weight bench.
His house, he goes first. Old rule. “I fumbled it and she left before I had a chance to fix it, so I got her number from Emily.” When Logan frowns, I add, “With Cynnie’s permission.
I called her before bed, and we had a really good talk. I read her a bedtime story.”
Logan grins before he grips the bar and starts bench-presses. “Told you you’re a natural. How’d it feel?”
I stand at the head of the bench to spot him but he’s starting at a hundred, so he probably doesn’t need it yet. “It felt fucking great. I got the best sleep I’ve had in forever afterwards.”
“Sounds right. I’ve never slept better than when I sleep with Emmy.”
“So, tonight? What do I do with Cynnie?”
“You definitely don’t have sex,” Logan says. “You need to get to know each other, figure out your kinks and if they’re compatible, before you jump into bed.”
“Right. I mean, I wouldn’t.” I have on the first date. HookIP, you know. But I get what he means. This is different. I need to get to know Cynnie as a person and as a little first. “What kinds of things do I ask?”
“Her fantasies are a good place to start. Don’t write them down like you’re making a list you’re going to tick off.
Just listen to her. What are the common themes in her fantasies?
Does she like being restrained? Does she need to be in a safe place like her bed or a castle, or does she want to be in a place she doesn’t know that’s a little scary like a dark cave?
Does she want to be with someone who is familiar to her or a stranger?
Does she want to be punished because she’s a naughty girl or rewarded because she’s a good girl? ”
Both of us clear our throats and I’m pretty sure we’re having the identical thought.
“Anyway. Once you’ve listened to her fantasies, ask about her limits. Positives first with littles, always, then negatives. Approach correction and discipline that way, too. Positives first. She’s still your good girl, but she’s done something wrong and needs correction.”
“Man, just like dealing with a kid, then.”
“Uh-huh. Be ready for her to ask about your limits, too. Littles seek approval constantly. She’ll be worried about overstepping with you and want to know where she can’t go.”
“I’m not really sure what my limits are yet.”
“Tell her that. She knows you’re new to this and finding your boundaries.”
Logan sets the bar back in the uprights and curls up off the bench. “You’re up.”
“Thanks, man.” I settle into position and take the bar. Logan can out-lift me any day, but he usually starts at low enough weights that I can keep up for a while. “What about the really little stuff, like diapers?”
“Take it slow. Listen for diapers and pacifiers and bottles in her fantasies. If they’re not there, maybe do a couple of scenes with her and then ask if she’d have any interest drinking from a bottle?
If she does, do a scene, see how it goes, and if she’s into it, ask if she’d like to wear a diaper.
Keep it in scenes first, and then ask her if she’d like to wear it overnight. ”
“With Emmy, does it blur from scenes to all the time?”
Because I already feel the tug towards that. I can barely see the contours of this thing, but I know that’s what I want.
“We still have defined scenes, usually every day or every other day, but she’s under my control all the time.”
A piece of the puzzle fits together inside me.
“Have you ever had her wear a diaper?”
“Not so far. She hasn’t made it a hard limit, but I suspect it is one. What’d you think when Jack told you Sammi was wearing one?”
I do a couple of reps while I consider his question. Pushing the bar into the uprights, I say, “I guess it’s just the idea of controlling something so fundamental. It’s, I dunnow, primitive, isn’t it?”
“Uh-huh.” Logan puts a pair of plates on the bar, and we swap places. “Although I haven’t had Emmy wear a diaper, I’ve controlled my sub’s bodily functions before. It’s very powerful.”
He huffs through a couple of reps and I watch him carefully. He usually doesn’t show much strain until we get over two hundred pounds, but it’s no surprise the last couple of days have taken it out of him.
“Warrin said that Jack’s strict with Sammi, and that Sammi needs that structure. How would I know if a little needs me to be strict?”
Logan racks the weights and breathes for a minute.
“Trial and error. Is she a hot mess? Is she constantly late to everything, forgetful, can’t concentrate, can’t get major tasks done on time?
That’s what Sammi’s like when Jack doesn’t have a firm grip on the reins.
Sammi also acts out for attention. You saw it some at the playgroup.
He knows so much better than to try to hug you without permission, even if he’s in very little space.
If Jack didn’t pull him up, Sammi would be all over everyone he met. He’s like a Labrador puppy.”
The image makes me chuckle.
“Emmy’s not like that. But you’re pretty firm with her.”
“I am. Some of that’s just me. Some of it is that Emmy can be scatty if her Dom isn’t firm.
She gets stuff done, but she has no schedule.
She stays up all night, sleeps all day, spends weeks in her PJs.
None of that stuff is exactly harmful, but she functions better if she has a bedtime and a more structured day.
She says she’s written twice as much since I took over her schedule. ”
“So, I’m looking for disorganization?”
“Yeah, or other signs of discontent. Is your little doing what they want to be doing with their life? Are they happy day to day, hour to hour? Not everyone’s happy all the time, of course, but the littles I’ve met want to be.”
“I mean.” I shrug. “Wouldn’t be the worst thing.”
Logan chuckles. “You mind if we move to barbells? This is making my gourd pound.”
“Of course, man. I don’t want you doing anything that makes you worse.”
“Thanks. I think it’s just the pressure. I feel a lot better than I did yesterday but lying back like this and lifting over my head’s not doing me any good.”
“Any news on that front?” I ask as we move over to his barbell set and select our weights.
While we do curls, Logan updates me on the situation with Rick-the-Dick and I make some mental notes. Rick can threaten whatever he likes, and it sounds like he’s made the same threats to Logan that he made to Manny, but I’m going to make damn sure he can’t carry through with them.
“Don’t stress about this shit,” I say to Logan. “Rick’s about to have so many legal problems of his own that he’s not going to have any mental space left to focus on you.”
Logan sets the weights between his feet. “What do you mean?”
“He says he’s going to point people at you because you didn’t catch Gloria Wilson fast enough? They’re going to go after him first. She was his fucking business manager. She was trying to poison him, not you. He’s the one who insisted on having a party when he knew someone was stalking him.”